DEEKAYPEE8569
Well-Known Member
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She
jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the
door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name
is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the
truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never
spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and
you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues
down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens
again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs
up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.
Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to
the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out
of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her
window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Joe,
it's winter in Canada and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Three women go down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, get drunk,
and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the
morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if
she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible
College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf
of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all
immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just
graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of
justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and
again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg
for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the
University of Florida and just graduated with a degree in Electrical
Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute
nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
--------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ........"
He sighed................
"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the
door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name
is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the
truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never
spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and
you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues
down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens
again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs
up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.
Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to
the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out
of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her
window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Joe,
it's winter in Canada and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Three women go down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, get drunk,
and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the
morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if
she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible
College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf
of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all
immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just
graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of
justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and
again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg
for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the
University of Florida and just graduated with a degree in Electrical
Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute
nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
--------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ........"
He sighed................
"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
