Tonio
Asperger's Poster Child
http://www.twistedradio.com/show/twistedtunes/xmas.asp
Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas
Have yourself an Ozzy little Christmas
Give a bat a bite
Decorate your devil head with twinkling lights
Ozzy Christmas, Ozzy family Christmas
Have yourself an Ozzy little Christmas
Let the “F” word fly
From now on those censors will be up all night
All those bad words, mother bleeping bad words
He’s repented his bolder days
And his druggy ways of your
Faithful friends who got smashed with him, don’t bring hash to him no more
We’re pretty sure
Through the slurs you almost can decipher
When he speaks aloud
He’s the hottest star among the head-bang crowd
So have yourself an Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy little Christmas now
Jingle Hells Bells (Parody of My Favorite Things)
Like Guns N Roses with Axl Rose spittin’
Ozzy' black eyes and the bats that he’s bitten
Big Marshall stacks and a broken E-string
These are a few of my favorite things
Penthouse apartments and twelve in a hot tub
Drinking Jack Daniels while getting a backrub
Little gold chains pinned to brass nipple rings
These are a few of my favorite things
We like bar fights
We like nose rings
We like eating snails
We always indulge in our favorite things
No wonder our skin’s so pale
Girls in black leather
With tight little tushes
Tattoos on big bosoms of prickly rose bushes
Silver stretch limos that come when I ring
These are a few of my favorite things
We like bar fights
We like nose rings
We like eating snails
We always indulge in our favorite things
No wonder our skin’s
Jingle Hell’s Bells
The Twelve Pains of Christmas
The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree.
The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.
The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Hang-overs
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.
The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.
The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
five months of bills
sending Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.
The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
facing my in-laws
five months of bills
oh I hate those Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
the Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
sending Christmas cards
Oh Geez
I’m trying to rig up these lights
And finding a Christmas Tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
I want a Transformer for Christmas
Charities and what do you mean your in-laws
Five months of bills
Oh making out these cards
Edith get me a beer huh?
What we have no extension cords
And finding a Christmas Tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Finding parking spaces
Daddy I want some candy
Donations
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers
Now why the hell are they blinking
And finding a Christmas Tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
Buy me something
Get a job you bum
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills.
Yo-Ho sending those Christmas cards
Ah geez look at this
One light goes out they all go out
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Stale TV Specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
I got to go to the bathroom
Charities
She’s a witch I hate her
Five months of bills
I don’t even know half these people
Who’s got the toilet paper huh?
Turn on the flashlight I blew a fuse
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
aghhh
Charities
Got to make ‘em dinner
Five months of bills
I’m not sending them this year. That’s it
Shut up, you
Fine you’re so smart you rig up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear (Parody of Winter Wonderland)
Lacy things the wife is missin'
Didn't ask for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the store there's a teddy
With little straps like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say "Are you ready?" we'll say "Whoa, man!
Let's wait until the wife is out of town"
Later on if you wanna
We can dress like Madonna
Put on some eye shade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Lacy things...missin'
Didn't ask...permission
Wearing her clothes...Silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear