Bobs night out

Dupontster

Would THIS face lie?
Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin? His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

Oh no, says Bob. He's on my bowling team. When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser? I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the lst nine, honey.

A stripper then comes over their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

Geez Bob, you picked up a real ##### this time!
 

kathie54

No green? Will pinch!
hey i got one



THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH & HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS! THIS IS A HANDY GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!



DANGEROUS:




SAFER:




SAFEST:




ULTRA SAFE:






WHAT'S FOR DINNER?




CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?




WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?




HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.






ARE YOU WEARING THAT?




WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!




WOW! LOOK AT YOU!




HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.






WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?




COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?




HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.




HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.






SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?




YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.




CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?




HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.






WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?




I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.




I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!




HERE, HAVE SOME MORE WINE.


13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:




1. PASS MY SHOTGUN




2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING




3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE




4. PUFFY MID-SECTION




5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK




6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS




7. PARDON MY SOBBING




8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE




9. PASS MY SWEATS




10. PISSY MOOD SYNDROME




11. POOR MEN SUCK




12. PACK MY STUFF




& MY FAVORITE ONE




13. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT




PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR HORMONAL FRIENDS & THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A GOOD LAUGH!!




...OR MEN WHO MAY NEED WARNING!!
 
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