Bribes to keep kids from smoking?

[JeJeTe]

Money Spent To Keep Kids From Smoking Is No Bribe

Thoughts on if you agree with Dear Abby or not?

 

[ZARA]

I agree with:

In my many years as a school psychologist, I have counseled hundreds of parents and teachers about dealing with behavioral issues in children. I often make the distinction between a "bribe" and a "reward" by describing a bribe as something you give someone to do something dishonest, while a reward is given for doing something commendable. What she did was reward their good choice in not developing a potentially fatal habit. -- OLD-SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST

My son has chores that must be completed every day. If he doesn't complete them every day he doesn't get his allowance. Is the allowance a bribe or a reward?

 

[vraiblonde]

Here's your bribe:

If I don't catch you smoking before you turn 18, I won't beat your ass for you.

 

[JeJeTe]

I agree with:


My son has chores that must be completed every day. If he doesn't complete them every day he doesn't get his allowance. Is the allowance a bribe or a reward?

But should you get a "reward" for something you should be doing already though?

You should do your chores because I'm telling you to do them. I can understand rewarding going above and beyond your chores but keeping your room clean and taking out the trash are things your just need to do.

You shouldn't smoke cause it's not healthy for you.

 

[ZARA]

Here's your bribe:

If I don't catch you smoking before you turn 18, I won't beat your ass for you.

You sound like me. I told my son, "If you ever smoke you will need to go to the ER to have my foot surgically removed from your ass." My son doesn't smoke. But I don't find anything wrong with offering motivational reward.

 

[kwillia]

But should you get a "reward" for something you should be doing already though?

You should do your chores because I'm telling you to do them. I can understand rewarding going above and beyond your chores but keeping your room clean and taking out the trash are things your just need to do.

You shouldn't smoke cause it's not healthy for you.

Exactly... that is why I see it as a bribe and not a reward.

 

[ZARA]

But should you get a "reward" for something you should be doing already though?

You should do your chores because I'm telling you to do them. I can understand rewarding going above and beyond your chores but keeping your room clean and taking out the trash are things your just need to do.

You shouldn't smoke cause it's not healthy for you.

Why not? Adults go to work to get paid. Kids go to school and do chores. The job is fitting for the age group.

My son loves expensive things. But if I buy them for him all the time where does he learn the responsibility of working for it?

He has chores, when done properly he gets paid. He saves those paychecks so he can buy the expensive things he wants. Now he has learned to manage his time because he has AP classes, complete his chores, learned responsibility, understands the value of money, and appreciates the expensive things he has because he had to earn it.

We do things that aren't healthy for us all the time. We drink, drive stupid, breath, eat foods that are loaded with more preservatives that our bodies will become mummies that never degrade...

So why not give them a reward for doing the right thing?

 

[JeJeTe]

Why not? Adults go to work to get paid. Kids go to school and do chores. The job is fitting for the age group.

My son loves expensive things. But if I buy them for him all the time where does he learn the responsibility of working for it?

He has chores, when done properly he gets paid. He saves those paychecks so he can buy the expensive things he wants. Now he has learned to manage his time because he has AP classes, complete his chores, learned responsibility, understands the value of money, and appreciates the expensive things he has because he had to earn it.

We do things that aren't healthy for us all the time. We drink, drive stupid, breath, eat foods that are loaded with more preservatives that our bodies will become mummies that never degrade...

So why not give them a reward for doing the right thing?

Because in the game of life you won't always get a reward for doing the right ithing in the form of money. Sometimes all you get is a warm and fuzzy feeling for doing the right thing. And they get rewarded daily by having a house, food, etc. That's my basic reward for having a job. :shrug:

My son is 6 and he is starting to like expensive things. He can gather money for those items by doing extra chores beyond what he is already supposed to be doing to contribute to the household as an active member of it.

 

[ZARA]

Because in the game of life you won't always get a reward for doing the right ithing in the form of money. Sometimes all you get is a warm and fuzzy feeling for doing the right thing. And they get rewarded daily by having a house, food, etc. That's my basic reward for having a job. :shrug:

My son is 6 and he is starting to like expensive things. He can gather money for those items by doing extra chores beyond what he is already supposed to be doing to contribute to the household as an active member of it.

And there is nothing wrong with that. It's just not how I raised mine. I don't see providing my child with food, roof, and place to sleep as a reward. It's something I have to do being a good mom and if I don't my son will be taken away from me. So maybe I am being rewarded by being allowed to keep him since I provide him the necessities to survive? (p.s. This is not sarcasm)

 

[PJumper]

Here's your bribe:

If I don't catch you smoking before you turn 18, I won't beat your ass for you.

My Dad found out that I was smoking at the age of 16. I was in college at that time and he already gave me the Birds and the Bees talk. The reason he found out was because I was thrown in jail ( I was smoking inside a Jeepney). It's enforced when the cops are low on funds. He asked how I got out of jail so I told him that since I've created the problem, I fixed the problem. He told me then that as long as I don't spend my college money on vices (smoking/drinking) or do anything criminal to support it, it's fine with him (he's also a smoker) , meaning I have to work to support my vices. works out fine with me. Quit smoking after 7 years (joined the Navy).

 

[JeJeTe]

And there is nothing wrong with that. It's just not how I raised mine. I don't see providing my child with food, roof, and place to sleep as a reward. It's something I have to do being a good mom and if I don't my son will be taken away from me. So maybe I am being rewarded by being allowed to keep him since I provide him the necessities to survive?

Essentially, yes.

Since you aren't a crackhead, don't beat him, and can provide adequately for him, then you get rewarded to keep him.

 

[ZARA]

Essentially, yes.

Since you aren't a crackhead, don't beat him, and can provide adequately for him, then you get rewarded to keep him.

LMFAO Awesome reply!! I Love it! Thank you for the laugh, I needed that.