Bullying...

otter

Nothing to see here
I have never understood the concept of suspending both students.
Cuz its the easy way out for the powers-that-be, they don't have to make a judgement. It's part of the zero-tolerance bs, rather than look into something and make a sound judgement, just toss em out of school..easy peasy.
 

FED_UP

Well-Known Member
My Son was a victim of Bullying many years ago. It was so serious, that I would hear him cry at night. He was very small for his age, and was in Special Education Classes. This was well over 20 years ago, and the school didn't seem to want to do anything about it. He was locked in his locker, had worms smashed in his books, made fun of, and slapped around a lot. This was in High School, here in Calvert. These are just a few of the things that happened to him. After numerous attempts to get the school to do anything, we finally had to tell the School that we were going to the Press about what was going on. There were two of the Bullies that were worse than the others. One was expelled, and the other was suspended eventually. The bullying eventually stopped, but it has left scars on our Son, as well as on us. It wasn't until our Son was well in to his 30's, that he shared with me that he was thinking of killing himself. The only thing that stopped him, was that a neighbor had pulled up in her driveway, and he didn't want her to see him jump off the roof that he was on. Needless to say..I was mortified hearing this, even after so many years.!! He is now a Untied States Coast Guard, with a family of his own. He's been in the Military for 17 years, and is doing quite well. I wish the same kids that bullied him, could see him now at 6 feet 3 inches, and him being an upstanding part of our Community. My Son is above getting revenge, but BOY..would I like to see those kids squirm like my Son did for so many years.
Worms smashed in his books, that is rare I guess. Now your giving some bullies reading this thread an idea.
 

Sweet 16

^^8^^
How much of our tax dollars are going to this issue that should be rightly be handled at the local level? Enough with the Government intrusion!
AMEN! The government-run schools have taken away kids' ability to defend themselves so they are left helpless victims instead of standing up for themselves and fighting back. Just the way the Government wants them!
 

awpitt

Main Streeter
PREMO Member
Great punish the kid for defending himself, well I guess I will let him catch the bully out in town and bust his azz.
As long as the police don't get involved, that's better than doing it at school where they don't care who started it.
 

LusbyMom

You're a LOON :)
I say, so be it. My son knows how to protect himself and has my permission to not become a victim.

:buddies:
My kids school teaches that hitting back is not protecting or defending yourself. They teach them that defending yourself is blocking the hits and that hitting back is retaliation.

Recently a boy was picking on my son all day... my son ignored him.. Then the boy hit/kicked him in the chest.. My son hit back. Both boys got ISS BUT my son did not get in trouble at home..
 

Merlin99

Visualize whirled peas
PREMO Member
I have never understood the concept of suspending both students.
If someone puts there hands on you out in public and you defend yourself. YOU are usually not the one charged. It's called (self defence),so why do it to the kids in school who are defending/sticking up for themselves??? It's BS!
It keeps the principal from having to make a decision and possibly having to back up that decision. This way all they have to say in their defence is "that's our policy"
 

Roman

Active Member
bullying

Worms smashed in his books, that is rare I guess. Now your giving some bullies reading this thread an idea.
I didn't mean to do that, and the things that they did to him, that I did NOT mention, were far worse.
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
Cuz its the easy way out for the powers-that-be, they don't have to make a judgement. It's part of the zero-tolerance bs, rather than look into something and make a sound judgement, just toss em out of school..easy peasy.
Partially true, it's in response to a lot of calls of discrimination and threats from parents and other outside groups over legal action.
If they give everybody involved in the altercation the same punishment they, the school, can't be accused of anything other then stupidity (which is legally allowed).
Going back 5, 6 years ago I heard stories from teachers at GMHS that there were suspension quotas. That trouble makers would be sent back to class with instructions from the office that the teacher should just "deal with it". The principal was watching the statistics and didn't want any more suspensions and detentions for the reporting period.
Again the same school and zero tolerance had reports of inocent bystanders being hurt when a brawl borke out. But since they were caught in the mess they too were disciplined.
It's what happens when outside agencies are looking over your shoulder constantly and threatening to take away funding if your statistics don't match their ideal of right.
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
My kids school teaches that hitting back is not protecting or defending yourself. They teach them that defending yourself is blocking the hits and that hitting back is retaliation.

Recently a boy was picking on my son all day... my son ignored him.. Then the boy hit/kicked him in the chest.. My son hit back. Both boys got ISS BUT my son did not get in trouble at home..
I will tell you a child I was picked on for "physical" reasons but was more then capable of defending myself. I don't know if I ever retaliated but I will tell you that on a number of occasions I was in the principals office to help "explain" how my attacker became injured to the point of needing medical attention. Like the boy who tried to him me with his metal lunch box. Unfortunately for him his lunch box kept smacking him in the head even though it never left his hand - self inflicted injuries I guess. Technically I never hit him.
 

Pete

Repete
It keeps the principal from having to make a decision and possibly having to back up that decision. This way all they have to say in their defence is "that's our policy"
I doubt they are afraid of making a judgement, most teachers i have dealt with have pretty good insight what is going on. the problem is they are afraid fo being sued by Billy badass' parents.

The main failure in this country is renegade retarded juries. If you take any program and process and trace it back it is attributed to preventing law suits. Even if you win it still costs a bunch to defend.
 

Kat_Hunter

New Member
We are a nation of sissys...
We can slap a kid on the butt, or rap his knuckles with a ruler because we, the adults will be charged with child abuse.
The kids have NO consequences for their bully behavior. If punished, they cry ABUSE and Social Services step in.

The schools have given the students so much power, they cant take it back and as a result kids continue to bully and DIE!!

Suspension is nothing but time for a bully to plot and plan to get back and for the bullied kid to sit in fear of going back to school.

Bullying does not stop in the physical world either..it continues on line, texting...and it continues HERE in forums....

To get it to stop adults need to take responsibility and be PARENTS! Not a bunch of sissies afraid to speak up and take action.

Kids hurt..words hurt....and their only option to end the pain is to kill themselves.
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
I doubt they are afraid of making a judgement, most teachers i have dealt with have pretty good insight what is going on. the problem is they are afraid fo being sued by Billy badass' parents.

The main failure in this country is renegade retarded juries. If you take any program and process and trace it back it is attributed to preventing law suits. Even if you win it still costs a bunch to defend.
Teachers will make the right call, even if it's against school policy. The problem is the administration, from the county office to the school. They are the ones living in fear. The teachers (for the most part) don't care about the politics, they see what they see.

While they won't come out and say it, the school administration in SMC is beholding to the State BOE. You'll see Christians wearing a band that has WWJSD on it, standing for What Would Jesus Do. Our school administrators should have one that says WWSBOED . The state looks at numbers, everything is based on numbers. And the factor tied to all those statistics is race/ethnicity and income. Are they "minority" or low income students.
If the state sees a dspropotionate number of minority or low income students being disciplined the schools have to defend themselves against discrimiatoin / bias charges.
I can't tell you how many times I've been told why something is the way it is because the school system was being accused of bias. Simple preception of bias
 

4ps

New Member
lots of reasons contribute

Sittnig here wondering what makes a child bully, is it attention? They want to show off? When you get a certain age you know right from wrong, if your kid is being a bully in I guess 5th grade and below they don't know better, but if they are older they know wtf they are doing.
Many times, it's actually from insecurity, or sadly from modeling by family members. As a prior clinician, I saw children in domestic violence shelters as young as two year's old modeling the aggressor's behavior! I watched in awe as a two year old boy hit his mother in the face, while she was trying to kiss him!
Children as young as preschool age can feel anger and learning how to handle that feeling is the job of the parent and teachers in school. Children are in school about 8 hours a day, and learn from those around them how to handle awkward situations. Schools SHOULD educate children and include workshops on this. Look at the shootings all around us. Look at the people who don't talk about why they are upset. It starts in preschool and goes way beyond 5th grade. Self esteem is very crucial from 6-12 as it develops. Crisis during the age bracket requires intervention. Kids get bigger and stronger then rather than using words (which hurt badly) it escalates.

I disagree, if you kid is being a bully in grade 5, they are already using a coping skill that would hurt others. They KNOW what they are doing and are somehow achieving results.

Also, if a child is uncomfortable, sometimes they want to make others feel uncomfortable. Middle school and high school years can be rough as the child is finding their way into the world, faces an increase in responsibility, peer pressure, and financial issues as they prepare for college.

Programs like DARE address drug use, touch on violence issues but we really need to increase awareness in our communities even more. Intervention begins at the Preschool level when a child learns how to deal with the biggest feeling inside of them (anger). Hitting and name calling is poor impulse control. Teach children better ways at a young age, and they may use them if it's reinforced later. Also, parents need to LISTEN and look for signals when a child comes to them, or turns feeling inward. Sadly, children may not feel they have anyone to turn to. Hopefully someone will notice.

Sorry for the rant. My recently son did his oratorical comp. speech on this subject and took second place for the boys. The statistics he revealed after doing his research show that it's getting worse and something has to be done!
Boys in our society may feel that expressing feelings is not "cool" or maybe it's even discouraged. This can lead to depression. We are human, have feelings and should recognize them.

Keep open communication with your kids, even if it's not the way you were taught. Stop the cycle. Stop the violence.

Help keep our world positive. Look at the good in your children, treat others with respect, teach them the same, and God Bless.
 

ladyhawk

New Member
we all agree that bullying is a problem. with more staff in the schools, there can be more action taken by the schools to end this type of behavior. but unfortunatley for us, our BOE and county commissioners have choosen to lay off the valuable resource known as teachers. with less teachers and staff, there will be less protection for our children.....not to mention less education, more crowded class rooms etc, etc, etc....
Sorry but more staff in the schools will make no difference. It is the System that needs to change. The layoffs will make no difference.

In years past, Other students stood up for each other and got involved by protecting their bullied friends but today the "group" won't protect each other due to punishment factors.

A bully would think twice before having to face a group..

June
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Kids hurt..words hurt....and their only option to end the pain is to kill themselves.
Oh bull####. The problem is overprotective helicopter parents who sissify their children into a catatonic state. We were all bullied in some form. You either take it or you don't.

And I will tell you my very unpopular other opinion, and that is all this horsecrap about "individualism". If work at being an outsider because you feel the need to "express yourself", don't cry and moan when you're *treated* like an outsider. It's human nature, and prevalent throughout the whole animal kingdom, to fear difference.

If you want to defy convention, do it and that's cool. But be tough and secure with it, and don't whine that the other kids don't respect your "choices". Because *that* is what will get you picked on.
 

vince77

Member
What's wrong with some of you people? If your kid is getting hit at school, it's an assault, that's a police matter, not a school matter. Don't ask the school to intervene, they'll cover it up. Crime's are handled by the police, not the VP at your school.

If you were in the Safeway and I walked over and slapped you, would you call the store manager? Hell no! You'd call/go to the police station, give a statement, provide names etc......why won't you afford your children the same protection?

If it's verbal, teach em to toughen up, it's a cruel world out there and lil Johnny has to learn how to deal with it....
 
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4ps

New Member
thanks to your son for fighting for his country

My Son was a victim of Bullying many years ago. It was so serious, that I would hear him cry at night. He was very small for his age, and was in Special Education Classes. This was well over 20 years ago, and the school didn't seem to want to do anything about it. He was locked in his locker, had worms smashed in his books, made fun of, and slapped around a lot. This was in High School, here in Calvert. These are just a few of the things that happened to him. After numerous attempts to get the school to do anything, we finally had to tell the School that we were going to the Press about what was going on. There were two of the Bullies that were worse than the others. One was expelled, and the other was suspended eventually. The bullying eventually stopped, but it has left scars on our Son, as well as on us. It wasn't until our Son was well in to his 30's, that he shared with me that he was thinking of killing himself. The only thing that stopped him, was that a neighbor had pulled up in her driveway, and he didn't want her to see him jump off the roof that he was on. Needless to say..I was mortified hearing this, even after so many years.!! He is now a Untied States Coast Guard, with a family of his own. He's been in the Military for 17 years, and is doing quite well. I wish the same kids that bullied him, could see him now at 6 feet 3 inches, and him being an upstanding part of our Community. My Son is above getting revenge, but BOY..would I like to see those kids squirm like my Son did for so many years.
I'm so sorry your son had to go through such a horrible experience!
Glad he feels that "revenge" solves nothing....good for him! A positive role model for his family...I'm sure.
 
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