Camping when you’re married with children

Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
All of the RV’ng threads have me wanting to share my own adventure.

I guess I’ll just start at our last trip.

We have season passes at Kings Dominion so we like to go stay at the campground there whenever we can.

The day started off majestically, my daughter started the morning with “why do we have to keep going to this stupid ####ing campground” and “can’t we stay in a hotel like the other humans”.

My wife was a picture of patience and calmly explained to her that we were having family time and when she turned 18 she could go be a hobo for all we cared.

My son handled the discussion well, he only interrupted occasionally with a “yeah” and “they better have Wi-Fi this time or you’ll be sorry”.

We have two little dogs and the one was so excited about going camping again, when I picked him up to put him in the truck, he pee’d on me.

The trip there was pretty uneventful, except someone kept farting and our Bichon is really old so he has a rotten smell to him. I had my son keep checking to make sure he was still alive and he suggested we put him in the dumpster at the Sheetz. I told him that would be inappropriate and he said “that’s the plan I had for you when you got old”.

:shrug:

When we got there I dropped the trailer and then started hooking all the stuff up. I hate how slimy the poop tube is but I can’t figure a way to hook it up with my shoe so I have to touch the damn thing as my family runs around yelling “gross!”

:barf:

I had to park on the front of the pad in order to be close to the septic drain so I pulled my truck behind the RV and when I did, I bumped it a little. I was really surprised how far those things can move when they’re not secured to a vehicle. More yelling from my family and the dogs are barking like crazy all watching their house roll away.

:jameo:

Once everything was good, we all took what my daughter calls the rolling petri dish shuttle bus to the park where once again I forgot you can’t bring pocket knives in, like I’m going to can opener someone to death with my Swiss army knife. Then we all walked around and I looked at all the other happy families having fun too.

We have to leave the park whenever someone wants to eat. $8 for some crappy French fries isn’t going to happen so we get back on the rolling petri dish and go back to the RV to eat potato salad and walk the dogs.

I don’t ride rides because I’m a chicken so all I do is try to see how many calories I can burn walking around the park, but I do look forward to the one meal that the Burgermeister Meisterburger lets us eat at a restaurant.

:yahoo:

She usually picks the fine cuisine at Applebee’s which allows me to go crazy and order onion rings with my Caesar side salad.

:eyebrow:

I’m always a bit concerned with what my family eats on these adventures because when one of them drops a deuce we all have to stay outside the RV.

After supper we all went back to the RV and I feigned fatigue so I could drink beer and cry in the darkness while they went back to the park until it closed.

We left the next day and I spent that evening pulling ticks and apparently moles that look like ticks off my body. I never know if I’ve got them all and every time I ask my wife to check me she just rolls her eyes and says we can’t the kids are up.

Now I think I have Lyme. :frown:
 
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Christy

Christy

b*tch rocket
:roflmao: Our kids are old enough to leave at home when we camp. We don't RV, we tent camp. They use to come along on our adventures until it became very clear that they were stuck for the duration. Not going to pack up and go home when they were bored. It is bliss without them. We love our kids, but we sure do love our time away from them. :yay: Young adults are a bigger PIA than a toddler. I'd take a screaming 2 year old over a sullen, know it all teenager.
 
itsbob

itsbob

I bowl overhand
We went camping with Nicholas at a fairly primitive campsite in PA. Unlike VRAI I like NOT hooking up at campsites and using the camp facilities instead. I don't want to handle the slimy poop tube, or be my own sanitation engineer. I can walk to the crapper, and walk to take a shower. A walk to the shower beats an accidental sewage shower by a LOT.

So one morning Nicholas says I'm going to go take a shower.. And he does. After about 20 minutes we realize he didn't bring any clean clothes with him, no clean underwear or anything. Thinking he's going to take a shower then put his dirty clothes back on, but we forgot how smart our child is.

Ten minutes later we see him marching across the campground his dirty clothes folded and in his arms, naked as can be.
 
lucky_bee

lucky_bee

RBF expert
itsbob said:
We went camping with Nicholas at a fairly primitive campsite in PA. Unlike VRAI I like NOT hooking up at campsites and using the camp facilities instead. I don't want to handle the slimy poop tube, or be my own sanitation engineer. I can walk to the crapper, and walk to take a shower. A walk to the shower beats an accidental sewage shower by a LOT.

So one morning Nicholas says I'm going to go take a shower.. And he does. After about 20 minutes we realize he didn't bring any clean clothes with him, no clean underwear or anything. Thinking he's going to take a shower then put his dirty clothes back on, but we forgot how smart our child is.

Ten minutes later we see him marching across the campground his dirty clothes folded and in his arms, naked as can be.
Click to expand...


:shrug: you said y'all prefer primitive camping.


:lol:
 
Pete

Pete

Repete
I like primitive camping too.

I park and open the side door and hit the "Drop front jack button"
Once it is down I hold the button for a second to life off the fifth wheel, unhook the wire harness, tank the pin release and park the truck.
Go back and hit "auto level". Open a beer and drink it until I hear the "BEEP BEEP" signaling the trailer is level.
Hit the buttons on the slide outs until the theater seating, kitchen and master bedroom are deployed fully.
Hit the on button for the fake fireplace/furnace or AC whichever is required.
Open the cargo hold and put up the canopy, side table, outdoor stove/grill/flattop griddle.
Hook up the fresh water hose I bought that is way too long.
Don the elbow length industrial rubber gloves and hook up the poop removal tube.
Hook up the cable TV
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Ew, you guys poop in your RV? That's way too primitive for me and why they invented bath houses.
 
Pete

Pete

Repete
vraiblonde said:
Ew, you guys poop in your RV? That's way too primitive for me and why they invented bath houses.
Click to expand...

I try not to but #### happens. No biggie to me. I don't have a poophbia. It is contained in the rugged plastic tube. I also have a spray head right where it connects to rinse the area and the hose upon disconnect.
Of course I dump the black water first, then both grey tanks which flushes the hose with what amounts to soapy water. My grey tanks are over 100 gallons combined so by the time they are done the amount of fecal matter present in and around the dump fitting and hose is roughly equal to the door handle of a McDonalds.
 
GWguy

GWguy

*
Pete said:
I like primitive camping too.

I park and open the side door and hit the "Drop front jack button"
Once it is down I hold the button for a second to life off the fifth wheel, unhook the wire harness, tank the pin release and park the truck.
Go back and hit "auto level". Open a beer and drink it until I hear the "BEEP BEEP" signaling the trailer is level.
Hit the buttons on the slide outs until the theater seating, kitchen and master bedroom are deployed fully.
Hit the on button for the fake fireplace/furnace or AC whichever is required.
Open the cargo hold and put up the canopy, side table, outdoor stove/grill/flattop griddle.
Hook up the fresh water hose I bought that is way too long.
Don the elbow length industrial rubber gloves and hook up the poop removal tube.
Hook up the cable TV
Click to expand...

:mad: Don't you EVER give me grief about all the buttons on my 'Wing again. EVER.
 
Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
vraiblonde said:
Ew, you guys poop in your RV? That's way too primitive for me and why they invented bath houses.
Click to expand...

That's the only place I'll poop. :shrug:


I don’t like what pokes through the hole in the bathhouse. :mad:
 
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PJay

PJay

Well-Known Member
Pete said:
I like primitive camping too.

I park and open the side door and hit the "Drop front jack button"
Once it is down I hold the button for a second to life off the fifth wheel, unhook the wire harness, tank the pin release and park the truck.
Go back and hit "auto level". Open a beer and drink it until I hear the "BEEP BEEP" signaling the trailer is level.
Hit the buttons on the slide outs until the theater seating, kitchen and master bedroom are deployed fully.
Hit the on button for the fake fireplace/furnace or AC whichever is required.
Open the cargo hold and put up the canopy, side table, outdoor stove/grill/flattop griddle.
Hook up the fresh water hose I bought that is way too long.
Don the elbow length industrial rubber gloves and hook up the poop removal tube.
Hook up the cable TV
Click to expand...

^This^
 
PJay

PJay

Well-Known Member
Misfit said:
That's the only place I'll poop. :shrug:


I don’t like what pokes through the hole in the bathhouse. :mad:
Click to expand...

^This^ and having the feeling someone is outside waiting to get in ( some things can't be rushed ). And, not wanting to share a potty stranger sat upon. Eww.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Homesick said:
^This^ and having the feeling someone is outside waiting to get in ( some things can't be rushed ). And, not wanting to share a potty stranger sat upon. Eww.
Click to expand...

My body doesn't like an audience when it's eliminating, so it waits until the time is right, then says, "Okay, now! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!" like a Navy SEAL. In and out, 3 minutes tops. :yay:
 
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