I've telling anyone who will listen...
...you lay still long enough and your loving, cuddly fur ball will eat you the hell alive.
The ONLY reason they're nice to us is because we keep insisting on doing nice things for them AND they can't get their gapping jaws of kitty death around our necks.
Do you REALLY think they're coming to cuddle and sleep with you? Then why do they bring a watch with them and act cranky every morning when WE wake up?
Well?