Cat

sunflower

Loving My Life...
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.

The cat they had put out into the yard, scoots back into the house.

(They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.)

The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...............
 

Dupontster

Would THIS face lie?
Look, another cat joke....

Veterinarian's Revenge:

One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was
a sorry sight - starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all
matted down.
We felt sorry for her & put her in a carrier and took her to
the vet. My husband (the complainer) said OK, but don't forget to wash her,
she stinks. And he reminded the vet that it was his wife that wanted the
dirty cat, not him. My husband & my Vet don't see eye to eye.
They love to hate each other.

Next day my husband had an appointment with his Doctor, which was
located next door to the Vet. The Doctor's office was full of people
waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and in leaned the Vet. He
had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and
in a loud voice said, "Your Wife's Pussy is finally clean & shaved.
She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she's pregnant. God
knows who the father is!"

Then, he closed the door - now, that's getting even.
 
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