TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO
10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a
left when you enter the trailer park."
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from
Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care
Coverage is "an apple a day."
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants
you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. Office dressing gowns have holes in the back AND
the front.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, Prozac didn't come in different
colors with little "m"s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO:
1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and
duct tape.
10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a
left when you enter the trailer park."
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from
Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care
Coverage is "an apple a day."
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants
you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. Office dressing gowns have holes in the back AND
the front.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, Prozac didn't come in different
colors with little "m"s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO:
1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and
duct tape.