Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
Are you kidding me?
I saw the trailer for this in the theater about four months ago, and nearly laughed to tears when I imagined the likes of Keanu Reeves attempting to portray this cult-comic book hero on the big screen....I turned to my mate, and between mouthfuls of stale, burnt, oversalted popcorn exclaimed:
"I have to see that just for the disappointment value."
So here it is, movie is out, we have no night life, and by default the options were to catch a flick, or go to Wal-Mart.
Now, being the classy Southern Marylander that I am, I decided to forego the latter and drag my poor spouse to the ghetto movie theater. Choices? Boogeyman, Are We There Yet, and Constantine....the decision was easy.
But hey, Are We There Yet was sold out, so Constantine it was.
I went into the theater not expecting much...and came out quite pleasantly surprised. This wasn't just "not a bad" movie------it was good.
Now, if you're a well versed and devout Catholic, make no mistake: You are going to be offended by this movie....by not only the premise, but also the interesting liberties taken by the authors (this was in the comics) and director.
If, on the other hand, you're just a well versed Catholic (or might have been at one point in your life), you will sit chortling giddily in your seat as I did for two hours.
If you're a Protestant, uneducated Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, etc.......you probably won't get it, but you still might enjoy the movie.
I won't spoil the movie for anyone.....but I will tell you the three things that were most wrong with it. This does not include most technical things---(ex. The fact that Seraphim are blue and six-winged, or that the Spear of Longinus has at no point in time by any half educated Catholic been called the "Spear of Destiny"...but I digress)....here they are:
1. Keanu Reeves. Seriously---am I the only one who can't see him playing any other roll than the (more) retarded one in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? Everytime he opens his mouth, the only thing I hear is "Totally bogus, dude...WHOOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Someone definitely could have made a better casting call there.
2. It's Revelation.....R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N. Notice the very UN-plural word preceeding this sentence.
3. Keanu Reeves. Did I mention that already? Wait...I must have. Whatever. It bears repeating.
In closing, I would like to remark that---for better or for worse---I found this movie thoroughly entertaining. Not quite 5 out of 5.....but definitely up there.
Worth $8? Hell yeah.
Worth the $14 candybar? Maybe....or your could make a stop by the 7-11 beforehand and enjoy the movie whilst basking in your own frugality.
Whatever suits you.
I saw the trailer for this in the theater about four months ago, and nearly laughed to tears when I imagined the likes of Keanu Reeves attempting to portray this cult-comic book hero on the big screen....I turned to my mate, and between mouthfuls of stale, burnt, oversalted popcorn exclaimed:
"I have to see that just for the disappointment value."
So here it is, movie is out, we have no night life, and by default the options were to catch a flick, or go to Wal-Mart.
Now, being the classy Southern Marylander that I am, I decided to forego the latter and drag my poor spouse to the ghetto movie theater. Choices? Boogeyman, Are We There Yet, and Constantine....the decision was easy.
But hey, Are We There Yet was sold out, so Constantine it was.
I went into the theater not expecting much...and came out quite pleasantly surprised. This wasn't just "not a bad" movie------it was good.
Now, if you're a well versed and devout Catholic, make no mistake: You are going to be offended by this movie....by not only the premise, but also the interesting liberties taken by the authors (this was in the comics) and director.
If, on the other hand, you're just a well versed Catholic (or might have been at one point in your life), you will sit chortling giddily in your seat as I did for two hours.
If you're a Protestant, uneducated Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, etc.......you probably won't get it, but you still might enjoy the movie.
I won't spoil the movie for anyone.....but I will tell you the three things that were most wrong with it. This does not include most technical things---(ex. The fact that Seraphim are blue and six-winged, or that the Spear of Longinus has at no point in time by any half educated Catholic been called the "Spear of Destiny"...but I digress)....here they are:
1. Keanu Reeves. Seriously---am I the only one who can't see him playing any other roll than the (more) retarded one in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? Everytime he opens his mouth, the only thing I hear is "Totally bogus, dude...WHOOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Someone definitely could have made a better casting call there.
2. It's Revelation.....R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N. Notice the very UN-plural word preceeding this sentence.
3. Keanu Reeves. Did I mention that already? Wait...I must have. Whatever. It bears repeating.
In closing, I would like to remark that---for better or for worse---I found this movie thoroughly entertaining. Not quite 5 out of 5.....but definitely up there.
Worth $8? Hell yeah.
Worth the $14 candybar? Maybe....or your could make a stop by the 7-11 beforehand and enjoy the movie whilst basking in your own frugality.
Whatever suits you.
