"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me fair? Listen, "fair" is a place where you go on rides,
eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At
least you know someone who can post your bail."
And last but not least....
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign
here."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me fair? Listen, "fair" is a place where you go on rides,
eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At
least you know someone who can post your bail."
And last but not least....
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign
here."
