Corporal Punishment...
- Thread starter Larry Gude
- Start date
mAlice
professional daydreamer
I mean that’s horrible.
That was the only time he ever laid a hand on me (step dad). I never tested him again.
I grew up with a couple different types of discipline/punishment. My Grandma with have us kneel in the pantry and had to be quiet and perfectly still. I you moved or made a noise she had a paddle board she would smack us in the butt with. My Mom used a switch, my Dad used his hand and my other Grandma would talk. All were effective to the timeframe/misddeed involved. Everyone is different in how they process the punishment. My point is that discipline should be left to the parent they know the child better than anyone. We have to much involvement with govtment and other people telling us whatwe should and should not do when even the experts can't even agree. Whatever happen to common sense!!!! The only time govt or someone else should get involve is if the child is in danger of being hurt physically or mentally, even that is a slippery slope. JMHO.
mAlice
professional daydreamer
You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but when the discipline breaks the skin, is administered to the genital area, and is still there days after the punishment, that's when it's time for someone to step in. I wish someone had stepped in when it was happening to me.
I'm sorry that it happened to you and I would not want it to happen to anyone. I guess I wasn't clear on where I was going. I do not advocate that any parent discipline or punish their child in such a way as to cause any physical or mental harm to them. I just think that it is the parents responsibility to discipline their children and as such it should be up to them to apply the appropriate method of discipline. Don't tell me how to raise my child if you don't want someone else telling you how to do it. I'm not perfect and I would hope that I would never hurt my child in a moment of anger.
I had two girls and not once did I have to strike them, slap them, or anything else. I was a stay at home mom, and I knew them as well as you can know a person. So being with them 24/7 I knew what bothered them and what didn't it. I learned that depriving them of their favorite toy or activity worked...if I had to make any threats, I would always carry through...of course, this was how it worked when they were young. When they hit the teenage years, things were different...
glhs837
Power with Control
At what age does someone stop spanking? My kids are teenagers, so it's not an option but I had one tell me the other day when I told them to do their homework. "No, I'm not going too." and "you can't make me", "shut up", "F-You!" etc. They’re too old to spank but too young to throw out of the house. Is it okay to tase them?
Oh, that's easy. "I may not have a legal way to physically force you, but by god, I do have the legal right to control any and all of my property. That internet you like? I have no responsibility to give you a password/connection to that. You want entertainment, lets go to the library. Food you like? Nope, not on the list, there just has to be good healthy food. Phone? I think you need one for safety, but any ol burner flip phone will work for that. As for the 'Eff you", that's guaranteed punishment. I'll debate you about homework, but I dont get disrespectful, and neither do you." Been though this a bit, I have. You have power, it's just not the power our parents had.
And once they start driving, if you do it wisely and provide a car that you own until they can afford to buy their own, that's another lever.
TPD
the poor dad
This right here! Parents these days are full of empty threats. If you threaten to take the phone away, by damn take the phone away!
BTW, nothing wrong with spanking IMO. It builds character and respect. Besides, what will our kids talk about on these forums 20 years from now if we don't spank them today?
Spanking should always be the last resort. If you run out of patience that fast & go straight to corporal punishment, something is wrong. Seek help.
I never got spanked in any form by my father. He never laid a hand on any of us, he didn't have to. He just commanded the respect by the way he spoke to us. Tone of voice, stern or disapproving looks, etc. His favorite phrase was from Bill Cosby's old record albums. He used to tell us "The belt will wail". He never so much as took off a belt to us, but I believed I would get it big time if I didn't behave, so it was effective! :shrug:
Mom did dole out the spankings/swats. I don't remember getting a lot of that type of thing, because I was generally not that type of child. However, I do remember the last time - I was 14-ish and was mouthing off something bad and I gotta say I wore out her last nerve.
I would say in retrospect that as a whole (3 of us kids) we were disciplined with corporal punishment in a controlled way, not an abusive one.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
I wouldn't recommend tasing, but a backhand across the mouth might work. My daughter found out how fast my hand is when she called me a f'n bitch. She's never said it out loud since.
On the other hand, when my son tried that he found himself with absolutely nothing but his bed on the floor and a pile of clothes in the corner. No electronics, no books, no music, no furniture. He learned his lesson.
Each kid required a different method, both were effective, and both kids found out exactly what an f'n bitch really is.
Vince
......
We got the strap from Dad, not on the bare butt and when we deserved it. Dad was fair and believe me, with three boys to raise, if Dad used the strap, we deserved it.Grandma would hit me with her fly swatter, it was gross. Dad would give us the belt on a bare butt or choke us when he didn’t think things through. Mom would just talk us into submission. The talking was by far the worst. She’d drone on for days until I wanted to overdose on my asthma medicine.
Mom was "wait till your father gets home." She said that and we knew it was over. Of course there came a time when the strap no longer hurt and we got "grounded." That hurt worse than the strap.
glhs837
Power with Control
"You think I'm an a-hole? Son, I have not even begun to be an an a-hole".
MMDad
Lem Putt
There's the real key. You have to adapt to what works with each kid. But people also have to realize that the adults are also different and what works for one parent may not work for someone else in the same situation.
I've found that whatever you do, as long as it is not done in anger and is for discipline and not punishment, it is probably going to be appropriate.
The problem isn't people that give their kid a smack when they deserve it. The problem is the people who beat the crap out of their kids, deserved or not.
Even though I don’t have any kids I’m all for a good spanking for willful stupidness or disobedience. I hated the strictness and beatings from our military step-father until I was at least 16. We had chores such as weeding/tilling the garden, breaking down wood pallets for the fireplace, sifting sand on the side of the road as cars whizzed by so my dad could mix cement for a patio, hand sanding our beater family cars for a fresh coat of brown primer. Any project my dad had going on we had to be there beside him helping. We were taught manners- ma’am and sir, thank you/no thank you, respect our elders, never questioned with “what”, it was excuse me. When I wanted my first car at 16, I was told get a job.. it wasn’t handed to me because I got pushed through the school system.
If we got into trouble it was an a$$ whipping or a slap upside the head or he would have a sibling go out back and pick the switch for your whoppin’.
I hated it growing up. But today I thank my dad everyday who is now frail and suffering from Parkinson’s at 81 (today). Without him, I wouldn’t of joined the military, retired from the military and be as successful as I am today. Because of him I can do my own plumbing, HVAC, carpentry, electrical, auto repair, pretty much anything. I can depend on myself.
Today I see SO many entitled, lazy kids that can do no wrong. I have nieces and nephews who get away with everything and have no respect for my brother and sisters and it irks me. I won’t lay a hand on any of them though for fear of going to jail. I give them kids crap about their behavior, tell them to get up and help clean their house, cut the grass, respect their parents, etc. You know what’s funny? They respect me! They want to learn from me, be involved in my projects. I treat them like adults when they act like adults. Even my brother and sisters say their kids are so well behaved when I’m around and respect me. Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. I’m glad I don’t have kids that will have to deal with the future of this world.
If we got into trouble it was an a$$ whipping or a slap upside the head or he would have a sibling go out back and pick the switch for your whoppin’.
I hated it growing up. But today I thank my dad everyday who is now frail and suffering from Parkinson’s at 81 (today). Without him, I wouldn’t of joined the military, retired from the military and be as successful as I am today. Because of him I can do my own plumbing, HVAC, carpentry, electrical, auto repair, pretty much anything. I can depend on myself.
Today I see SO many entitled, lazy kids that can do no wrong. I have nieces and nephews who get away with everything and have no respect for my brother and sisters and it irks me. I won’t lay a hand on any of them though for fear of going to jail. I give them kids crap about their behavior, tell them to get up and help clean their house, cut the grass, respect their parents, etc. You know what’s funny? They respect me! They want to learn from me, be involved in my projects. I treat them like adults when they act like adults. Even my brother and sisters say their kids are so well behaved when I’m around and respect me. Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. I’m glad I don’t have kids that will have to deal with the future of this world.