Couples Therapy???

razzle1127

razzle1127

New Member
i have been thinking about it lately, and was wondering what everyone thinks about it. Are there any in the area that you would recommend.

I really want my bf to go or i think this relationship will soon be over. i dont want to go into details but he is selfish and i am stubborn. i think i am bipolar (or so my friends say i am) but regardless something needs to be done.


please anyone give you advice, comments, experiences.

thanks
 
DoWhat

DoWhat

Deplorable
PREMO Member
razzle1127 said:
i have been thinking about it lately, and was wondering what everyone thinks about it. Are there any in the area that you would recommend.

I really want my bf to go or i think this relationship will soon be over. i dont want to go into details but he is selfish and i am stubborn. i think i am bipolar (or so my friends say i am) but regardless something needs to be done.


please anyone give you advice, comments, experiences.

thanks
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Drink.
And offer him a beer too.
 
razzle1127

razzle1127

New Member
trust me there are plenty in the fridge, you wanna come join us for a beer later haha what brand do ya like?
 
W

Wenchy

Guest
SoccerMom2 said:
Go to counseling for yourself first. Then see what they say you should do next.
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:yeahthat: Your friends can't diagnose you. If there is a possibility that you are bi-polar you need to find out and get treatment before you request the same of him. If he truly loves you then he will stand by your side as you and your doctor learn how to treat you.

Good luck!
 
bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
razzle1127 said:
i have been thinking about it lately, and was wondering what everyone thinks about it. Are there any in the area that you would recommend.

I really want my bf to go or i think this relationship will soon be over. i dont want to go into details but he is selfish and i am stubborn. i think i am bipolar (or so my friends say i am) but regardless something needs to be done.


please anyone give you advice, comments, experiences.

thanks
Click to expand...
Take this with a grain of salt so to speak.
but, from personal experience I have learned that if two people find out that they are not compatible at an early stage in a relationship, it (for me) has worked out better to call it quits and just stay as friends.

My first wife and I had this issue but went ahead with marriage anyway, figured it would all be picket fences and rose gardens once we were married.
didnt work out that way at all, 6 years down the road and the roses were dead from neglect and she was hoppin the fence like a frigging olympic competitor. Thus the ex.

to this day I figure if we would have just called it off from the start, we would at least be friends and she wouldnt own my house on the water now and I wouldnt still be praying that a frigging hurricane hits Virginia beach and washes the house with that (insert word for female dog) out to sea where she would float for months eating nothing but dead fish that flotated by her until she finally died from some hideous and painful virus that slowly eats away at her skin..

but I digress...

think it out before you proceed. Counseling might help, might not. but make sure that if you end it, you do it in such a way that neither of you are hurt in the process.

best of luck to both of you.
 
lisa8439

lisa8439

New Member
I think your first step should be taking care of YOURSELF - as in, going to see a psychiatrist if you truly think that you might be bipolar or have anything else going on. Untreated mental problems can really bring any relationship down - it's hard for the other person to deal with, especially when one doesn't get help - so deal with that first and foremost. There is no shame in seeing someone to get help - and if your bf loves you he will support this decision and perhaps stay by you to see if any 'change' comes about in the relationship after a few months of seeing a counselor/psychiatrist.

What does your bf think about possible counseling or about you seeing a psychiatrist?? If he is unsupportive, I think that is your answer.

To echo what BCP said though, if there are problems that early on in a relationship, it's usually better to 'cut your losses' so to speak. It's hard when you love someone but marriage is hard work.

I had to cut ties with someone that I had been with for over 5 years because over time I realized how truly selfish and unsupportive he really was. Things like that aren't going to change just because you get a ring on your finger. In fact, they typically get worse over time. Thank goodness I woke up one day and just realized that I deserved better. There needs to be compromise in any relationship - if you are really stubborn, compromise by going to see if there *is* something medically going on that might be contributing to the downfall of the relationship. He should compromise by giving you the support you need (i.e. not being so selfish of his own wants/desires) and if neither of you is willing to bend, you will break. Even if YOU are willing to bend and go get some feedback medically and he isn't willing to support you, then he won't be willing to compromise on other issues either and you need to just do what is best for YOU and find someone who supports you emotionally.
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
jetmonkey said:
get a better boyfriend
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You're not presuming this is all the boyfriends shortcomings now are you? :tap:

'Better' how? "better' match for a messed up person? If she's ####ed up and wants to fix it, great! That'll serve her well for the rest of her life whether he's good for her or not and if she gets happier with herself then she may find he's not so bad after all...or that it's time for hope and change! :lol:
 
bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
Larry Gude said:
You're not presuming this is all the boyfriends shortcomings now are you? :tap:

'Better' how? "better' match for a messed up person? If she's ####ed up and wants to fix it, great! That'll serve her well for the rest of her life whether he's good for her or not and if she gets happier with herself then she may find he's not so bad after all...or that it's time for hope and change! :lol:
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Yep, thats what the ex did, decided that it was time for hop and change. so over the fence she went.
 
yankee44

yankee44

New Member
bcp said:
Take this with a grain of salt so to speak.
but, from personal experience I have learned that if two people find out that they are not compatible at an early stage in a relationship, it (for me) has worked out better to call it quits and just stay as friends.

My first wife and I had this issue but went ahead with marriage anyway, figured it would all be picket fences and rose gardens once we were married.
didnt work out that way at all, 6 years down the road and the roses were dead from neglect and she was hoppin the fence like a frigging olympic competitor. Thus the ex.

to this day I figure if we would have just called it off from the start, we would at least be friends and she wouldnt own my house on the water now and I wouldnt still be praying that a frigging hurricane hits Virginia beach and washes the house with that (insert word for female dog) out to sea where she would float for months eating nothing but dead fish that flotated by her until she finally died from some hideous and painful virus that slowly eats away at her skin..

but I digress...

think it out before you proceed. Counseling might help, might not. but make sure that if you end it, you do it in such a way that neither of you are hurt in the process.

best of luck to both of you.
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Such a touching story!!!!! I am so glad that you and the Ex have such a great relationship today with no hard feelings towards eachother. :killingme

P.S. When that Hurricane hits VB do you think we could have my Ex visit your Ex?
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
Why does love have to turn to such bitter hatred? Why can it not be an amicable mutual dislike of each other? Then prehaps there would not be so many mixed up children out there.
Adults can be so selfish and immature when it comes to divorce.
 
virgovictoria

virgovictoria

Tight Pants and Lipstick
PREMO Member
razzle1127 said:
i have been thinking about it lately, and was wondering what everyone thinks about it. Are there any in the area that you would recommend.

I really want my bf to go or i think this relationship will soon be over. i dont want to go into details but he is selfish and i am stubborn. i think i am bipolar (or so my friends say i am) but regardless something needs to be done.


please anyone give you advice, comments, experiences.

thanks
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razzle1127 said:
trust me there are plenty in the fridge, you wanna come join us for a beer later haha what brand do ya like?
Click to expand...

baileydog said:
Take a bottle of Prozac.
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SoccerMom2 said:
Go to counseling for yourself first. Then see what they say you should do next.
Click to expand...

bcp said:
Take this with a grain of salt so to speak.
but, from personal experience I have learned that if two people find out that they are not compatible at an early stage in a relationship, it (for me) has worked out better to call it quits and just stay as friends.
Click to expand...
If you have questionable psych issues, go get a diagnosis and start treatment. Beer is a nono :nono: and Prozac alone is a big :nono:. You really can't be in a relationship with someone else until you are in a healthy, willing to take care of yourself relationship with yourself first.

If you find that you are able to then resume (or if he can find selflessness) your relationship - or really begin anew - then great. If not, life is big.
 
flyingdog

flyingdog

Member
I have to agree with getting yourself help first. The rest you can sort out if you have yourself figured out.
 
P

poster

New Member
Sorry, don't know to who, but go by yourself. Check on your issues and then go together later. Rule #1, if he tells you, you're fine - we/you don't need help. Run like hell. He should be just as interested in solving any issue you feel needs addressing.

Keep in mind you may need to move on. Alot of people make the next move, marriage, kids, because they think - hey we've been together 3yrs lets get married, it's time right. Don't make those moves till you know you are ready.

That you want to go to counseling is a good thing, follow through with it, but for yourself first.
 
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