I just went back & read this. Too funny. Now, I can't wait till they open.
The Legacy of Crabby Dick
Crabby Dick has always been well known by the local folk in Bawlmer. Ever since he was just a little Dick, Crabby roamed the cobblestoned streets of Fells Point itching to create his own legacy.
As Crabby got bigger, he knew he had to find his mate. There was only one she-crab for Crabby and her name was Anita. Anita was also well kown by the local sailors that came into the port. You see, Anita had been “around The Block” and was looking for a jimmy to call her own. As fate would have it (plus Crabby baiting Anita with some juicy chicken necks), Crabby and Anita were wed and the Dick Family Tree was rooted.
Soon there were little Dicks all over Fells Point. Crabby and Anita had three sons, Harry Dick, Seymour Dick and Hoss Dick and one daughter, Candy Dick. Candy later became famous for her “Homemade Candy Dick Suckers” that once you start sucking you can’t stop until you reach the stick. So Crabby had his family but still needed his legacy.
Crabby asked his cousin, Curly Dick (who by the way has the best balls on Broadway especially when dipped in his secret recipe Seamen Sauce), how he could create the Crabby Dick Legacy. Curly just shrugged his claws and kept dipping his balls. Then an idea hit Crabby, like a mallet cracking his shell (OUCH), Crabby would seek wisdom from the wisest Dick of all, Hung Lo Dick of the East Orient.
Hung Lo Dick was very old and very wise. He advised Crabby, “ To create a legacy, you must live a good life, treat all people with the respect that you expect for yourself and wear your name proudly. When you achieve this, you will achieve your legacy.”
Crabby thanked Hung Lo for his wisdom and thought long and hard about what the old crab had said. “…..and wear your name proudly.” And it finally came to him…T-Shirts. That was the answer to creating his legacy. Crabby printed up shirts with “Maryland is for Crabby Dick’s” and gave them to everyone he knew. Soon you could see Crabby Dick’s everywhere.
Meanwhile, back at the Dick house in Fells Point. People were coming from miles away to see Crabby Dick. Of course, Mama Dick had to feed all these weary travelers so she started cooking up her dee-licius Crab Cakes and Curly’s Crab Balls.
So Crabby got his Legacy and Baltimore got the Best Little Crabhouse in Maryland. Hope to see you soon!!