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baswm
Guest
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
While attending a séance "just for fun", you will be possessed by the spirit of Rasputin. Surprisingly, it will be a good career move.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Beware the toilet plunger of Doom.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will feel tired and run-down today. This may possibly be because of the marathon you ran yesterday, and the taxi that ran into you near the finish line. Just a guess.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss' IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of "Titanic II."
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
If you act now, you could be the first on your block to have an actual moat and a working drawbridge. Something to consider.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to -- either at night, or during boring meetings.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Avoid yodelling today.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
It's time to move on to bigger and better opportunities. Be sure to be outrageously nice to everyone until you leave - they'll only remember the last bit, anyway.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That's just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will be "on the move", soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it turns out. Good day to stay close to home.
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
While attending a séance "just for fun", you will be possessed by the spirit of Rasputin. Surprisingly, it will be a good career move.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Beware the toilet plunger of Doom.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will feel tired and run-down today. This may possibly be because of the marathon you ran yesterday, and the taxi that ran into you near the finish line. Just a guess.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss' IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of "Titanic II."
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
If you act now, you could be the first on your block to have an actual moat and a working drawbridge. Something to consider.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to -- either at night, or during boring meetings.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Avoid yodelling today.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
It's time to move on to bigger and better opportunities. Be sure to be outrageously nice to everyone until you leave - they'll only remember the last bit, anyway.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That's just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will be "on the move", soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it turns out. Good day to stay close to home.
I have such great luck. 
Good point. I have been called a lot of things, but boring was never one of them. 
