My wife makes me go shopping with her, so what's wrong with having some fun while
there?
Dear Mrs. Lynn,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Lynn has been causing quite a commotion
in our store.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our
clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All
complaints against Mr. Lynn have been compiled
and are listed below.
MEMO: RE: Mr. Lynn - Complaints - Things Mr. Lynn has done while his spouse was
shopping in our store:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked
his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if
he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then,
yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
there?
Dear Mrs. Lynn,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Lynn has been causing quite a commotion
in our store.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our
clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All
complaints against Mr. Lynn have been compiled
and are listed below.
MEMO: RE: Mr. Lynn - Complaints - Things Mr. Lynn has done while his spouse was
shopping in our store:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked
his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if
he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then,
yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
