Death of a parent
- Thread starter Aesop69
- Start date
itsbob
I bowl overhand
lisa8439
New Member
First of all, my condolences on the passing of her Mom (and your wife I presume?) I'm sorry for your loss....
As for your question - she is probably still in denial. Grieving someone or something is a very personal process, and I second itsbob's recommendation -you really do need to set up some counseling for her. And yourself - but especially for her, even if she says everything is fine. There will come a time when the wall she has built up around herself to keep the pain out crumbles, and the denial about her Mom's passing turns into anger and sadness - and she will need more help and guidance than you can give her to allow her to process her thoughts and eventually come to a point of acceptance. At her age, the loss of a Mother is almost catastrophic - she is at the beginning of her transition from a girl into a woman - and she is likely numb right now, and unsure about how she feels and how to process the changes and the huge void that has been left in her life.
Please get her counseling... if you can't afford it, there are groups around that will help. PM me if you need that info and I can find some numbers for you.
B
Bronwyn
Guest
Counseling for sure. I think even hospice provides free grief counseling if you can't afford it. I also think that there are summer camps for children specifically for children that have lost a parents.
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
Sorry for your loss Aesop. No one here is qualified to advise you on this. As others have suggested, seek professional counseling.
I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone has different ways of handling the stages of grief. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same length of time - or even in the same order in a specific way. Children are no different, but it's probably more difficult for them. Like everyone else has suggested, it would be better to seek professional help. For the whole family. Is there someone you know who can give you a referral for your particular family and situation? A doctor or clergy who knows you? Not all counselors are for every person, situation, etc.
Good luck.
And anyone who tries, other than suggesting professional help, is not someone to be listened to.
Good luck, Aesop
twinoaks207
Having Fun!
So sorry for your loss. That is a really tough thing to go through, especially when children are involved. As others have suggested, counseling would be helpful. Your location is not listed so here is what I've found locally for starters:Calvert county: Bereavement Services - Calvert Hospice offers hospice care for Calvert County, Maryland (MD)
St. Mary's Hospital Resources: Resources - St. Mary's Hospital - Leonardtown, MD - Southern Maryland
Camp sunrise for kids article with contact info: Camp Sunrise Brings Healing, Comfort in Time of Loss - Southern Maryland News, Charles County, Calvert County and St. Mary's County News
Charles County:
Hospice HOSPICEOFCHARLESCOUNTY.ORG
Thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
Children will often grieve in ways adults don't understand.. Hospice runs excellent grief groups especially for children..
Sometimes people are worried the child isnt "normal" because they don't do what they expect. I wouldn't worry about that. The groups are great and will help you understand her process. check out the links twinoaks provided..it is the best thing to do.
Sometimes people are worried the child isnt "normal" because they don't do what they expect. I wouldn't worry about that. The groups are great and will help you understand her process. check out the links twinoaks provided..it is the best thing to do.
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss. Can't offer any advice, but I agree with everyone else, see some counseling for her.
kelb
art imitating life
I am so sorry. My family has recently gone through this same thing.
Ugh its so sad.GREAT LINKS!
Calvert county: Bereavement Services - Calvert Hospice offers hospice care for Calvert County, Maryland (MD)
St. Mary's Hospital Resources: Resources - St. Mary's Hospital - Leonardtown, MD - Southern Maryland
Camp sunrise for kids article with contact info: Camp Sunrise Brings Healing, Comfort in Time of Loss - Southern Maryland News, Charles County, Calvert County and St. Mary's County News
Charles County:
Hospice HOSPICEOFCHARLESCOUNTY.ORG
Thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
My sister took her stepson to sunshine camp in la plata and it did him wonders. She actually let her daughter go with him. It was a great thing for him.
tiltedangel
New Member
when my sons father died, he was full of anger and i did not know what to do to help. Finally i called his fathers family and talked with them. We decided that it may help for him to come and stay with them for a while and be able to talk about him and laugh with the family about memories. It helped him to be around the ones that were feeling the same as he was and heal each other at the same time. He was 13 at this time which is a difficult age without losing someone.
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doubtfull24
New Member
And anyone who tries, other than suggesting professional help, is not someone to be listened to.
Good luck, Aesop
Well,
Hi, I am not going to tell you what you should do but I can tell you some things not to do. I was around 12 or 13 when my step mom (who I consider my mother) passed away from cancer. First off if your her father she really needs your support and understanding.When my mom died I was numb and it really didn't make since until years later.My father shut down and never talked to me about her death. I want really suppose to talk about her in front of him because he was so upset.When I returned to school afterward none of my teachers even knew because my father never informed them.So I didn't have the support or understanding I should have had. I could go on and on but my point is this don't just think she is fine because she is acting normal. Don't shut her out. Don't try to move on with life like nothing has happened.Don't expect her to be anything she's not. Don't have her confide in a friend or family member if your only intention is to find out what she said. I could keep going but I won't I am truly sorry for your loss and for what you and your daughter are going threw.Make sure your daughter knows you love her and always will no matter what the future holds
I wish my father would have took me to counseling not just for me but for the both of us.Maybe our relationship which is basically non-existent would be different now.Take care...