Do you expect your grown kids to give you gifts

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
No. A phone call will do. I hate to sound like a noodge, but most of the time it's stuff I neither need nor want anyway.
 

GregV814

Well-Known Member
Well, no. Me and my father regifted an old 1930’s-1940’s era necktie for a few years. I miss both.
 

glhs837

Power with Control
Do they? Yes. Expect? No Daughter got me a nice bottle of bourbon, and the son bought me an L.L. Bean light beanie for when I'm walking the dogs.
 

FED_UP

Well-Known Member
No, but daughter gave me a gift card, son nothing (in college). So sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Never have the expectation that they are obligated. But we always do for them, nothing to expensive.
 

Bonehead

Well-Known Member
I would rather they spend the money on what they might like or need. If I want something I go buy it.
 

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Definitely not. But mine always come up with something interesting and different as a gift..often from their travels.
 

catlingirl

Active Member
Ok cool thanks everyone I feel the same way about my kids giving gifts. I thought I was the only one that didn’t expect gifts from my kids. If they want to get me one that’s fine but if they don’t want or can’t thats fine also.
 

acommondisaster

Active Member
I hope for a picture of the g'kids. The last thing I'd want is a gift card! But basically, I don't expect or really want anything from them except for their time.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
So is the question "do you expect" or is is "do you think they're ungrateful nozzles if they don't"? Because those are two different scenarios.

I think kids should gift the ones who got them where they are today and sacrificed so they could have what they enjoy now.

Do I expect it? No.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
And one more thing:

When I was poor and couldn't afford good presents, I made things for the people I loved and who were good to me. A collage of the grands costs like 5-cents, but it's something and it's thoughtful. My grandmother was buried with the quilt I made her for Christmas one year, and it cost me time, that's all. That's how much you have to spend on the people you love: time.
 

Hannibal

Active Member
I don't have grown kids (everyone is under 10) but from the flip side, as an adult with parents ........ it's more or less a gesture than anything. My folks each year will tell me to not waste our money on them. They say (and it's largely true) that they have everything they need and most of what they want and if they want it bad enough, they will buy it for themselves at some point. They're retired and live very comfortably. They go hog-wild at Christmas between my brother and I and all the grandkids and their own nieces/nephews. My family will push them hard for things they may need/want but it ends up being something pretty unexciting. I think this year, mom wanted a new electric skillet and that was it. So we bought her a really nice one and then tossed in a bag of bath goodies (soaps, bath bombs, etc.). Dad collects war figurines (toy soldiers) so he had a few he was "looking at" and my brother and I knocked a few off his list. Money/cost wise though, it's not close. I'd bet they spend 5x what they get in return. I always feel a touch bad and have even considered sending them on a nice vacation (wedding anniversary, etc.) as a way to show my gratitude to them but the fact is, I can't afford where they usually vacation (LOL) so it would be more of a burden for them than an actual gift.
 

Hannibal

Active Member
Me: no
Their mother: yes

Yes. I am definitely a person who loves to give and really have no expectations of receiving. But I make it a point to take the kids out to do a little Christmas shopping for mom. And it's nothing fancy but I tell them I will match every dollar they put in one for one but they have to pick out a gift themselves that they think their mom would like. We usually end up a TJ Max or Target or something for a new coffee mug or scented candle. And being little kids (all under 10), mom has gotten some interesting gifts. Just this Christmas, she was very excited about the Rite Aid brand shampoo, lip balm and hair bands my youngest got for her.
 

catlingirl

Active Member
So is the question "do you expect" or is is "do you think they're ungrateful nozzles if they don't"? Because those are two different scenarios.

I think kids should gift the ones who got them where they are today and sacrificed so they could have what they enjoy now.

Do I expect it? No.

:) I'm just asking this because my parents wrote notes to my kids, who are over 15, and told them they were disappointed in them for not getting me anything for Christmas. I just wanted some feed back on what other people thought about gift giving. So it's just "Do you expect ". I dont need or what anything for Christmas from the kids, but if they want to then thats ok. I guess I should have lied and said they did get me something. Thanks for the feedback. :)
 

catlingirl

Active Member
Yes. I am definitely a person who loves to give and really have no expectations of receiving. But I make it a point to take the kids out to do a little Christmas shopping for mom. And it's nothing fancy but I tell them I will match every dollar they put in one for one but they have to pick out a gift themselves that they think their mom would like. We usually end up a TJ Max or Target or something for a new coffee mug or scented candle. And being little kids (all under 10), mom has gotten some interesting gifts. Just this Christmas, she was very excited about the Rite Aid brand shampoo, lip balm and hair bands my youngest got for her.

Aww thats sweet.:)
 
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