9 Things We Can Never Unhear From Customer’s Dunkin’ Donuts Receipt Rant
1. ”I want the whole f*****g menu, bitch, TWICE.”
2. “A guarantee is a guarantee — I’ve already called my lawyer and he’s already on it… Because when it says if you don’t get a receipt, you get your order free, it f****n’ means it, right? Or is it a lie? Because this is all being f****ng recorded.”
3. After being told she could order exactly what she had yesterday and get it for free: ”Okay, I want a strawberry Coolata.” Worker: “Did you have a strawberry Cooolata yesterday?” Customer: “No. There were a bunch of us in the car yesterday. If I get exactly what I ordered yesterday it’s gonna be a s**t ton more.”
4. “Hi, Facebook, this is what you have to do in life, it f****n’ sucks, blow my brains out.”
5. “I’ve literally thought this was the best one in the city and I gave you guys like so many good remarks online because I have a business degree.”
6. “I’m going tomorrow and I’m going to nuke this place up. I’ve already posted this on Facebook too… And I’m going to take off and watch this place explode… How do you feel about that?” [Random guy in line responds]: “It’s your own issue, I have my own issues.”
7. Regarding the order being free guarantee: ”S**t pissed me off like that. Just wanted my order. I just want my bacon to be crispy and my people to be nice…. There are no takebacks in life.”
8. “I’m from Indiana and Kentucky and up there this s**t doesn’t happen… I’m going to Mars where I don’t have to deal with it. It’s a one-way flight.”
9. Regarding her new order being prepared, and her certainty that it’s going to be nasty: ”Even if they hock a loogie and s**t in it, I don’t even care…. One time they pissed in my fries right in front of my mouth. Literally, I could smell the piss in it…. That’s why I’m not eating this food and I’m giving it to my boyfriend.”
