Tonio
Asperger's Poster Child
I found this on another board. It's very weird.
Were the engineers who designed human body possessed by Beavis and Butthead? Here's the conversation:
"They've gotta be able to excrete. What'd'ya think? How best to do this?"
"We can't have 'em ingesting their own waste. So the waste must be distinctly different from anything that's suitable for ingestion. I recommend we make it look as disgusting and repulsive as can be to warn people off."
"That ought to do it."
**giggling** "No, wait. I've got an idea. Let's make it SMELL horrid."
**catching on and giggling some more** "How about BOTH?!?"
"You're out of your mind!"
"Come on, it'll be fun!"
Hence, the alimentary canal is designed. Not long after, a flaw is discovered in the process because gas keeps getting into system, resulting in expulsion that sounds and smells like the waste itself.
"Um...dude? We gotta fix this."
"Why?"
"Cuz this wasn't how it was supposed to be."
"It's fun, though. Let's keep it. See what happens."
"All our models of their social dynamics will go out the window. You know that, right?"
"Of course, you fool! That's half the idea!"
The reproductive system would provide even more laughs:
"Okay, now all we gotta figure out is how to make these clowns reproduce."
"Obviously, something's gotta be transmitted from one to the other."
"Yeah. What would you say? A solid lump of something?"
"Mmmmm, I was thinking more along the lines of a liquid. Solid is a bit problematic."
"How about a powder?"
"No, we've already got too many juices for powder to remain powder. However, what about a thick viscous liquid?"
"You mean like snot?"
"Precisely."
"That's kind of sick, don't'cha think?"
"Not really."
"If you say so. Now then, from where and to where should it be transmitted?"
**giggles** "How about...."
"If you're thinking of sneezing on each other, I'm quitting here and now."
"No, no, no! Let's make the reproductive system tie right into the liquid excretory system!" **falls over laughing, clutching his gut**
"You are whacked! You are TOTALLY....WHACKED!" **makes to leave**
"Wait! Wait! I've got one! How about instead of laying eggs like the archeopteryx, we'll have the baby grow INSIDE THE MOTHER HERSELF! Can you imagine it!"
**stops on his way out** "You're sadistic! We don't want to mothers to die in order to reproduce!"
*getting control of himself** "I know....I know." **pause for dramatic emphasis** It'll only kill the ones whose equipment is too small for it!" **falls over laughing again**
**shakes head in revulsed shock** "I don't know you. I don't know who you are. I want nothing to do with you."
Were the engineers who designed human body possessed by Beavis and Butthead? Here's the conversation:
"They've gotta be able to excrete. What'd'ya think? How best to do this?"
"We can't have 'em ingesting their own waste. So the waste must be distinctly different from anything that's suitable for ingestion. I recommend we make it look as disgusting and repulsive as can be to warn people off."
"That ought to do it."
**giggling** "No, wait. I've got an idea. Let's make it SMELL horrid."
**catching on and giggling some more** "How about BOTH?!?"
"You're out of your mind!"
"Come on, it'll be fun!"
Hence, the alimentary canal is designed. Not long after, a flaw is discovered in the process because gas keeps getting into system, resulting in expulsion that sounds and smells like the waste itself.
"Um...dude? We gotta fix this."
"Why?"
"Cuz this wasn't how it was supposed to be."
"It's fun, though. Let's keep it. See what happens."
"All our models of their social dynamics will go out the window. You know that, right?"
"Of course, you fool! That's half the idea!"
The reproductive system would provide even more laughs:
"Okay, now all we gotta figure out is how to make these clowns reproduce."
"Obviously, something's gotta be transmitted from one to the other."
"Yeah. What would you say? A solid lump of something?"
"Mmmmm, I was thinking more along the lines of a liquid. Solid is a bit problematic."
"How about a powder?"
"No, we've already got too many juices for powder to remain powder. However, what about a thick viscous liquid?"
"You mean like snot?"
"Precisely."
"That's kind of sick, don't'cha think?"
"Not really."
"If you say so. Now then, from where and to where should it be transmitted?"
**giggles** "How about...."
"If you're thinking of sneezing on each other, I'm quitting here and now."
"No, no, no! Let's make the reproductive system tie right into the liquid excretory system!" **falls over laughing, clutching his gut**
"You are whacked! You are TOTALLY....WHACKED!" **makes to leave**
"Wait! Wait! I've got one! How about instead of laying eggs like the archeopteryx, we'll have the baby grow INSIDE THE MOTHER HERSELF! Can you imagine it!"
**stops on his way out** "You're sadistic! We don't want to mothers to die in order to reproduce!"
*getting control of himself** "I know....I know." **pause for dramatic emphasis** It'll only kill the ones whose equipment is too small for it!" **falls over laughing again**
**shakes head in revulsed shock** "I don't know you. I don't know who you are. I want nothing to do with you."