h3mech
Active Member
MASTER CHIEF AND 3 LIEUTENANTS
One day, a Master Chief went to the Officer's Club with his Captain to eat lunch. When they entered the main dining room, they found the place was crowded. They did notice three Lieutenants sitting at a table with two empty chairs, so the Captain asked them if they could join them. They promptly invited them to join them. They ordered lunch and joined them in conversation as they ate. At one point, the Master Chief mentioned he had observed characteristics about many officers from which he could determine the sources of their commissioning. The Lieutenants were eager to hear about this and asked if he could tell how each of them had been commissioned.
The Master Chief turned to the Lieutenant on his left and said he went through ROTC. The Lieutenant confirmed that was correct and asked how he had noted this. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant, through his conversation, seemed to have a strong academic background but limited military experience.
The Master Chief then told the Lt on his right that he had gone through OCS with previous enlisted service. The Lieutenant confirmed this was correct and also asked how he had determined this. The Master Chief said, again through his conversation, that the Lieutenant seemed to have a firm military background and a lot of common sense.
The Lieutenant across the table from the Master Chief asked if he had determined his source of commission. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant had graduated from the United States Naval Academy . The Lieutenant stated that was correct and asked if he had noticed his high level of intelligence, precise military bearing, or other superior qualities acquired at the United States Naval Academy . The Master Chief replied that it was none of these that led to his determination. He had simply observed the Lieutenant's class ring while he was picking his nose.
ROUTE TO BECOMING AN ADMIRAL
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a low voice, " Admiral , United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tightlipped smile, "Admiral , United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims: "Master Chief Petty Officer , United States Navy, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals."
SEAMANSHIP TEST
One time during the underway watch the OOD decided to test a Chief Petty Officer's seamanship.
"Chief, what would you do if the forward watch fell off the side of the ship?" "Easy, sir, I'd call 'Man Overboard' and follow the Man Overboard procedures."
"What would you do if an officer fell overboard?" "Hmmm," The Chief said, "Which one, sir?"
A WISE OLD MASTER CHIEF ONCE SAID
A young Ensign approaches the crusty old Master Chief and asked about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.
"Well," replied the Master Chief, " the insignias for the Navy are steeped in history and tradition.
First, we give you a gold bar representing that you are very valuable but also malleable.
The silver bar also represents significant value, but is less malleable.
Now, when you make Lieutenant, your value doubles, hence the two silver bars.
As a Captain, you soar over the military masses, hence the eagle.
As an Admiral, you are, obviously, a star.
Does that answer your question?"
"Yes Master Chief" replied the young Ensign. "But what about Lieutenant Commander and Commander?"
"That, sir, goes waaaay back in history - back to the Garden of Eden. You see we've always covered our pricks with leaves."
One day, a Master Chief went to the Officer's Club with his Captain to eat lunch. When they entered the main dining room, they found the place was crowded. They did notice three Lieutenants sitting at a table with two empty chairs, so the Captain asked them if they could join them. They promptly invited them to join them. They ordered lunch and joined them in conversation as they ate. At one point, the Master Chief mentioned he had observed characteristics about many officers from which he could determine the sources of their commissioning. The Lieutenants were eager to hear about this and asked if he could tell how each of them had been commissioned.
The Master Chief turned to the Lieutenant on his left and said he went through ROTC. The Lieutenant confirmed that was correct and asked how he had noted this. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant, through his conversation, seemed to have a strong academic background but limited military experience.
The Master Chief then told the Lt on his right that he had gone through OCS with previous enlisted service. The Lieutenant confirmed this was correct and also asked how he had determined this. The Master Chief said, again through his conversation, that the Lieutenant seemed to have a firm military background and a lot of common sense.
The Lieutenant across the table from the Master Chief asked if he had determined his source of commission. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant had graduated from the United States Naval Academy . The Lieutenant stated that was correct and asked if he had noticed his high level of intelligence, precise military bearing, or other superior qualities acquired at the United States Naval Academy . The Master Chief replied that it was none of these that led to his determination. He had simply observed the Lieutenant's class ring while he was picking his nose.
ROUTE TO BECOMING AN ADMIRAL
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a low voice, " Admiral , United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tightlipped smile, "Admiral , United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims: "Master Chief Petty Officer , United States Navy, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals."
SEAMANSHIP TEST
One time during the underway watch the OOD decided to test a Chief Petty Officer's seamanship.
"Chief, what would you do if the forward watch fell off the side of the ship?" "Easy, sir, I'd call 'Man Overboard' and follow the Man Overboard procedures."
"What would you do if an officer fell overboard?" "Hmmm," The Chief said, "Which one, sir?"
A WISE OLD MASTER CHIEF ONCE SAID
A young Ensign approaches the crusty old Master Chief and asked about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.
"Well," replied the Master Chief, " the insignias for the Navy are steeped in history and tradition.
First, we give you a gold bar representing that you are very valuable but also malleable.
The silver bar also represents significant value, but is less malleable.
Now, when you make Lieutenant, your value doubles, hence the two silver bars.
As a Captain, you soar over the military masses, hence the eagle.
As an Admiral, you are, obviously, a star.
Does that answer your question?"
"Yes Master Chief" replied the young Ensign. "But what about Lieutenant Commander and Commander?"
"That, sir, goes waaaay back in history - back to the Garden of Eden. You see we've always covered our pricks with leaves."
