Foster Parenting - Is there something wrong with this picture?

[sleuth]

A friend of a friend is going to foster the kids of one of her friends.

Apparently the bio-parent, let's call her JANE, abused the oldest son, and he has permanent scars from the metal part of the belt. I guess JANE abused him because he found him playing with the needles she threw away. (She has diabetes.) So she LOST it, and beat him up with a belt.

The kids have been through several homes, and the foster-parent, let's call her JILL, wanted to foster them, knowing the boys for a long time, she wanted to push for it. After going through affidavits and background checks, they told her yesterday they're waiting on one more criminal check to clear from New York since that's where she's lived before. When that clears, she will get $900.00 per child! ON TOP of that, they will cover the boy's therapy, their day care/school/and give her $300.00 in foodstamps-weekly.

What bothers me, besides the fact that from what I know about JILL is that she's not exactly a great role model for kids, is that she'll basically be getting $1800 + $1200 in food stamps every month, and that all day care and school expenses are being paid for.

Seems to me that JILL is making out like a bandit, and that there's no way $3000 a month is going to go to these kids, even considering things like a roof over their head, insurance, etc.

What do you all think?

 

[RoseRed]

Call CPS.

 

[sleuth]

Call CPS.

Over what, exactly?

 

[Pete]

A friend of a friend is going to foster the kids of one of her friends.

Apparently the bio-parent, let's call her JANE, abused the oldest son, and he has permanent scars from the metal part of the belt. I guess JANE abused him because he found him playing with the needles she threw away. (She has diabetes.) So she LOST it, and beat him up with a belt.

The kids have been through several homes, and the foster-parent, let's call her JILL, wanted to foster them, knowing the boys for a long time, she wanted to push for it. After going through affidavits and background checks, they told her yesterday they're waiting on one more criminal check to clear from New York since that's where she's lived before. When that clears, she will get $900.00 per child! ON TOP of that, they will cover the boy's therapy, their day care/school/and give her $300.00 in foodstamps-weekly.

What bothers me, besides the fact that from what I know about JILL is that she's not exactly a great role model for kids, is that she'll basically be getting $1800 + $1200 in food stamps every month, and that all day care and school expenses are being paid for.

Seems to me that JILL is making out like a bandit, and that there's no way $3000 a month is going to go to these kids, even considering things like a roof over their head, insurance, etc.

What do you all think?

Parents for $4.03 per hour? What a deal the state is getting for 24/7/365 responsibility and attention for a kid I charge $100,000 an hour to love, care for, attend to, and mentor a child, AND that is for a kid from birth on. I charge extra to take in one that has been previosly psychologically and psysically damaged by animals.

 

[vraiblonde]

So you think JILL should not only take in someone else's kid, but she should have to do so on her dime as well?

I think people who foster parent are wonderful. I don't mind my tax bucks going for the care and feeding of kids so they can have a second chance.

 

[cattitude]

I was unaware you could arrange to foster children of friends and get paid for it. Was the foster mother ALREADY an approved foster mother? Sounds fishy but I don't have all the details.

 

[carolinagirl]

I was unaware you could arrange to foster children of friends and get paid for it. Was the foster mother ALREADY an approved foster mother? Sounds fishy but I don't have all the details.

I beleive if she wasn't a foster parent already, but showed an interest in getting the children, she could go through the training and background checks to get licensed and then CPS would put the children with her.

 

[sleuth]

Parents for $4.03 per hour? What a deal the state is getting for 24/7/365 responsibility and attention for a kid I charge $100,000 an hour to love, care for, attend to, and mentor a child, AND that is for a kid from birth on. I charge extra to take in one that has been previosly psychologically and psysically damaged by animals.

Well... when you put it that way...
I see your point.

Just seems like a lot of money... Maybe it's because I haven't been a parent yet.

 

[sleuth]

I just hope JILL will end the endless parade of men that go in and out of her life on a monthly basis when she gets these kids.

 

[citysherry]

Foster care, when well done, makes a valuable contribution to society and the future of our nation. IMO, foster families are underpaid and if you're considering fostering merely for the money, then you're not doing it for the right reasons. Large chunks of your time and energy are devoted to driving the child to appointments, activities, doctors, therapists, caseworkers, etc. You have to deal with the child's bizarre behavior because of past abuse, neglect, anger, confusion, frustration and abandonment issues. Sadly, foster children are considered “damaged goods” and windup staying in the system until they age out rather than adopted.

 

[vraiblonde]

I just hope JILL will end the endless parade of men that go in and out of her life on a monthly basis when she gets these kids.

Shacking up or just dating? Either way, it's probably better than the belt buckle.

What would you propose they do with these kids, instead of fostering them out to JILL?

 

[Dymphna]

If you are really concerned about the woman's fitness as a foster parent, call the foster care department of social services and tell them your concerns. Perhaps they already know and have checked it out and she's really just dating tons of loving, caring men looking for her best option. :shrug: Or maybe they have no clue, because she has successfully hidden it and they have no idea because none of her references told them and no one else thought it was any of their business to say anything.

 

[Ehesef]

Shacking up or just dating? Either way, it's probably better than the belt buckle.

What would you propose they do with these kids, instead of fostering them out to JILL?

I think I would much rather be fostered by a serial dater, or even a big ho bag that I knew than be split up from my siblings and farmed out to complete strangers.

 

[sleuth]

Shacking up or just dating? Either way, it's probably better than the belt buckle.

What would you propose they do with these kids, instead of fostering them out to JILL?

Overnight dates.
I think there were at least 3 last month, based on what my friend told me about her. At least 1 of them was a stranger.

I honestly don't know what I'd do with them. Something in my gut just doesn't feel right about this. I don't know why, it just doesn't. I think...that it's just that based on what my friend tells me about this woman, she doesn't seem like the type of person that would be a good parent.

I would propose that they find another home, if there are any available.

 

[cattitude]

based on what my friend tells me about this woman

Maybe that's the problem.

 

[sleuth]

Maybe that's the problem.

:shrug: Could be. I'm willing to admit that. :shrug:

I've never met the woman. I only have what my friend tells me as a basis to go on.

 

[Pete]

Sadly, foster children are considered “damaged goods” and windup staying in the system until they age out rather than adopted.

This is usually because the state is so slow to pull the trigger and move to court to have parental rights terminated in attempt to "preserve" the family. these kids shuttle back and forth fostercare-home-fostercare-home. The states need to just do it then hang a Depovera IV drip on the egg donors and a state sponsored vasectomy for the sperm donor.

Hell half the time these trolls can pump out a kid, neglect it, have it taken away, then squirt out another and the state cannot touch the new baby until the entire process begins again.

 

[citysherry]

This is usually because the state is so slow to pull the trigger and move to court to have parental rights terminated in attempt to "preserve" the family. these kids shuttle back and forth fostercare-home-fostercare-home. The states need to just do it then hang a Depovera IV drip on the egg donors and a state sponsored vasectomy for the sperm donor.

Hell half the time these trolls can pump out a kid, neglect it, have it taken away, then squirt out another and the state cannot touch the new baby until the entire process begins again.

I don't disagree with you Pete. Check this out - click on meet the children and you'll see the faces of the tons of childrens and sibling groups waiting for adoption.

 

[Pete]

I don't disagree with you Pete. Check this out - click on meet the children and you'll see the faces of the tons of childrens and sibling groups waiting for adoption.

I agree, my point is they wait too long to terminate parental rights. By the time they do these kids are severely damaged. Look at the bulk of these kids on that site. Many are on heavy medication, suffer from PTSD and have horrible problems. If "rescued" earlier perhaps they would not be considered so "damaged". I feel bad for them and it takes a very strong special type of person to adopt a child who has soo many issues. Life is hard enough and many do not feel they could handle bringing in a child that will possibly turn their lives upside down.

 

[cattitude]

My aunt fostered kids from Prince George's county social services for years and years. I think it was 70-some kids, two of which she adopted. It was interesting (and sad) to see how the foster/adoption process evolved over the years. When she first started, she'd pick up a baby at the hospital, 3 days old and have that child for maybe a month and then it was adopted. Then the drug babies, abused kids, etc. started coming in over the years. Also, if a father wasn't present and they didn't have something SIGNED agreeing that the child being release for adoption, they had to wait a certain amount of time, and go through a process of trying to find the father..sometimes multiple choice dads. There were also huge efforts placed on returning kids to parents. My aunt used to have to drive to jails, drug rehab facilities, you name it so that the children who'd been removed from less than desirable parents and situations could visit and keep their relationship and bond alive. She moved a few years ago to South Carolina and no longer fosters. She did it for more than 30 years.