J
justhangn
Guest
Sometimes you feel like a nut (Democrat primary), some-
times you don't (general election). So which Democrat
candidate will be nutty enough to win the primary, gain-
ing that hearts of the Democrat base of drooling idiots?
And will he make himself too nutty to be viable in the
general election?
To find these answers, let's see what Iowa caucus winner
John Kerry had to say a few months back...
Frank: Being a haughty, French-looking man from Massachusetts,
what do you think makes you qualified to be president?
Kerry: Well, having served in Vietnam...
Frank: Everyone knows you served in Vietnam. You don't have
to keep mentioning it.
Kerry: Sorry, but having served in Vietnam...
Frank: See, there you go again. Anyway, you said the president
lied to you about the war, but you voted with him,
which seems to mean you fell for it. Since so many
people think President Bush is dumb, how dumb does
that make you? Does that affect either your haughtiness
or your French-lookingness?
Kerry: Well, serving in Vietnam...
Frank: Is this like a form of Tourette's syndrome?
Kerry: Vietnam! Me served in!
Frank: So, what is your military experience, if any?
Kerry: Uh... well... Bush's tax cuts were for the rich.
Frank: Nice talking to you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore
and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking,
who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get
elected with the most votes?"
—David Letterman
"The New York Times is reporting that back in the '60s,
presidential candidate Howard Dean used a letter from a
doctor about a back condition to keep himself out of the
draft in Vietnam and then spent 10 months skiing. Well
it sounds like he's done the impossible. He actually made
Bill Clinton and George Bush look like war heroes."
—Jay Leno
"The Washington Post says that of the seven Democratic
presidential candidates, Wesley Clark has the most
presidential hairstyle. Not only that but the Post
said that Al Sharpton had the best hairstyle of a
first lady."
—Conan O'Brien
times you don't (general election). So which Democrat
candidate will be nutty enough to win the primary, gain-
ing that hearts of the Democrat base of drooling idiots?
And will he make himself too nutty to be viable in the
general election?
To find these answers, let's see what Iowa caucus winner
John Kerry had to say a few months back...
Frank: Being a haughty, French-looking man from Massachusetts,
what do you think makes you qualified to be president?
Kerry: Well, having served in Vietnam...
Frank: Everyone knows you served in Vietnam. You don't have
to keep mentioning it.
Kerry: Sorry, but having served in Vietnam...
Frank: See, there you go again. Anyway, you said the president
lied to you about the war, but you voted with him,
which seems to mean you fell for it. Since so many
people think President Bush is dumb, how dumb does
that make you? Does that affect either your haughtiness
or your French-lookingness?
Kerry: Well, serving in Vietnam...
Frank: Is this like a form of Tourette's syndrome?
Kerry: Vietnam! Me served in!
Frank: So, what is your military experience, if any?
Kerry: Uh... well... Bush's tax cuts were for the rich.
Frank: Nice talking to you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore
and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking,
who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get
elected with the most votes?"
—David Letterman
"The New York Times is reporting that back in the '60s,
presidential candidate Howard Dean used a letter from a
doctor about a back condition to keep himself out of the
draft in Vietnam and then spent 10 months skiing. Well
it sounds like he's done the impossible. He actually made
Bill Clinton and George Bush look like war heroes."
—Jay Leno
"The Washington Post says that of the seven Democratic
presidential candidates, Wesley Clark has the most
presidential hairstyle. Not only that but the Post
said that Al Sharpton had the best hairstyle of a
first lady."
—Conan O'Brien