Fun facts to know and tell

[Otter]

Did you know...While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the
summer each year, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've know. Only women would be able to drag a fat-arse man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

 

[Tonio]

I don't blame Santa for not using male reindeer. Here's what would happen if he did:

Rudolph: Just follow me, guys. I know where we're going.
Blitzen: Yeah, right. Like that time in '92 when you took us right over NORAD.
Rudolph: I told you, it was the northern lights! The whole sky was lit up!
Blitzen: Oh, bulls***. You were the only one lit up that night. We know what that red nose is all about.
Donner: (BRAAAAAAAAAAT!)
Prancer: Jeez! Lay off on the chili, will ya, Donner? Why did the Old Man have to put me downwind from you this year?
Donner: Hey, bite me, you fairy!
Prancer: What'd you call me, you a**hole?
Donner: You heard me, Striesand-boy! What kind of homo name is Prancer, anyway?
(Enraged, Donner lunges at Prancer, forgetting that his antlers are gone. Prancer lunges back, throwing the sleigh all over the sky and spilling a few presents.)
Santa: Hey! One more word out of any of you and it's venison!