GopherM
Darwin was right
The President of Nescafe manages to arrange an audience with Pope Francis at the Vatican. After receiving a Papal blessing, the President of Nescafe whispers,
"Your Holiness, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee.'"
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It cannot be changed."
"Well," says the Nescafe President, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed."
The Nescafe President says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer ... we will donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee.' Please consider it." And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million."
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks one of the Cardinals.
"We're losing the Wonder Bread account!"
"Your Holiness, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee.'"
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It cannot be changed."
"Well," says the Nescafe President, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed."
The Nescafe President says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer ... we will donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee.' Please consider it." And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million."
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks one of the Cardinals.
"We're losing the Wonder Bread account!"