Gore Warns that Kerry is Not Sexy Enough to be President.

[sleuth]

Kerry Is Not Sexy, Warns Gore
But the Massachusetts Democrat claims he is too sexy for shirt, car

By Andy Borowitz, Newsweek
Updated: 1:21 p.m. ET May 18, 2004 - Former Democratic presidential nominee Al Gore raised a warning flag about the candidacy of John Kerry today, telling reporters that the Massachusetts senator "is not sexy enough to be president."

Speaking to reporters in Washington, Gore said, "There are only three things that get you elected president—sex, sex, and sex—and John Kerry, I believe, lacks all three."

Attempting to place his remarks in an historical context, the former Democratic standard-bearer continued: "To be successful in a run for the White House, you need to have raw, almost animalistic sexual power. JFK had it. I have it. I'm not sure that John Kerry has it."

linkage: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5005246/site/newsweek/

 

[ylexot]

At first I thought that came from The Onion. Then I saw MSNBC and thought no way this is true. Then I saw that it's listed as satire...

Very funny though.

 

[Tonio]

So it's satire? How about this?

Speaking to reporters in Washington, Gore said, "You only know whether a man has what it takes to be President when you see him in a Speedo."

Attempting to place his remarks in an historical context, the former Democratic standard-bearer continued: "To be successful in a run for the White House, you need to have pumped pecks, chiseled abs and, most of all, you need a tremendous package. JFK had it, I have it, and John Kerry comes up short."

 

[vraiblonde]

I'm getting this horrifying mental picture of George Bush in a Speedo.

 

[Tonio]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
I'm getting this horrifying mental picture of George Bush in a Speedo.

(Okay then, I'll head right over the cliff...) Yeesh! To clear that one, I had to switch to Laura Bush trying on full-figure bras at Victoria's Secret.