Groaners

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
A bunch of oldies but goodies...

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

7. Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

16. He often broke in to song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
 

Otter

Nothing to see here
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"Well, years ago I might have . ".

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"The main thing I learned in College was. "
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"As soon as I get done here I'm gonna ... 
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"The coroner told me that it looked like he had been hit in the head several times with a .. "
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:shrug:
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"And ...the Doctor also suggested for preventative measures, at least twice a week, I should ... "
 
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