Handling sensitive issues with kids

Tonio · Sep 28, 2004

Interesting thought. What do you think?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A38584-2004Sep21.html

Cinnaminson, N.J.: My sons, ages 7 and 11, love to read the comics. I have a problem when a strip like "Opus" has such an overtly sexual gag, like the other week. Should I have to monitor the comics before they read them? Are the comics only for adults now?

Gene Weingarten: This is actually a reasonable question, and I suspect a lot of you won't like my answer. But here goes.

I think all the world is a teaching place for kids. I never worried, for example, about my kids watching the news and seeing stories on murders, famine, whatever. When a kid has a question, you answer it in the fashion that you feel is appropriate.

I think the comics are no exception. Personally, if my kid had read that Opus (Opus is victimized by spammers and apparently has purchased penis-enlargers, because in the last panel his nose is enormous) I think I would have explained the joke. Putting in whatever moral caveats seemed appropriate. You can deliver even disagreeable truths to a kid in a way that helps him.

As I said, that's me. I never exercised much parental censorship. And both my kids love me and have perfectly good lives, in their respective penitentiaries.

sockgirl77 · Sep 28, 2004

Tonio said:
Interesting thought. What do you think?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A38584-2004Sep21.html

i disagree. there are things that you need to shelter your kids from, depending on their age. a 7 year old doesn't need to know about sex and violence.

vraiblonde · Sep 28, 2004

in their respective penitentiaries

My kids rarely questioned stuff like that - "Mommy, why is Opus' nose big?" They are about as perceptive to innuendo as I am (keeping in mind that just last year I had it explained to me, on these forums, that the song "Relax" is about sex :lol:

). On the rare occasion when they did question something they heard or saw, I'd just matter-of-factly tell them what it was:

"There are these pills that make your winkie bigger and somehow they made Opus' nose bigger instead, I guess because it wouldn't be very nice to show Opus' winkie."

Let's hear stories from parents whose kids are more observant than mine - how do you handle uncomfortable questions and situations?

dustin · Sep 28, 2004

Each child matures differently.

So it would depend on various factors including the childs age, maturity level, personality, and even the parental knowledge of the subject(s) as to how each of life's lessons are explained.

Nickel · Sep 28, 2004

dustin said:
Each child matures differently.

So it would depend on various factors including the childs age, maturity level, personality, and even the parental knowledge of the subject(s) as to how each of life's lessons are explained.

I think you're at the right age for a life lesson....check your pm's!!!!!

crabcake · Sep 28, 2004

vraiblonde said:
Let's hear stories from parents whose kids are more observant than mine - how do you handle uncomfortable questions and situations?

as honestly (but age-appropriately) as possible, which is hard when you have a 6-year-old kid with a very perceptive, inquiring mind. The answers usually breed more questions.

bresamil · Sep 28, 2004

crabcake said:
The answers usually breed more questions.

That's the truth. It can be exhausting. And sometimes they throw some real lulus at you.

happyappygirl · Sep 28, 2004

And it's funny how they "listen"...my 7 y/o will seem "preoccupied" (like climbing on the fence, or picking flowers) when I answer to whatever question she's asked, but she responds absolutely appropriately with questions in the right places. Her questions amaze me. I always try to be as truthful as possible on what level I think she can relate. And if i don't know, I say, "I don't know, but let's find out" sometimes we don't find out until I can dial up the internet though...and by then she may have forgotten she asked :lol:

happyappygirl · Sep 28, 2004

Put to Sleep thing is TOUGH

we just went through this with her pony...so i explained it was called PTS but really meant she died, and we had helped her with medicine, and she asked me how...so i explained how the medicine slowed her breathing, until it stopped..which of course came the question if she not breathing is her heart beeping... :frown:

GEESH i was glad that conversation finally ended when daddy came down to the pasture..... :duh:

dustin · Sep 28, 2004

Nickel said:
I think you're at the right age for a life lesson....check your pm's!!!!!

I did...

Did yo forget to turn the read receipt on? :lol:

Nickel · Sep 28, 2004

dustin said:
I did...

Did yo forget to turn the read receipt on?

My post was from 12:30 this afternoon, goofy, at that time you hadn't checked your PM's :neener:

Pete · Sep 28, 2004

I don't think it is that hard. I am pretty straight with boy and he with me. Just yesterday he was asking me "Oh father dear, should you suffer a subdural-hemotoma or perhaps a deep brain aneurism that would be indicative of a prolonged if not certain vegetative state, would you like to remain on life support or would you prefer euthanasia through the removal of life supporting devices?":shrug:

Elle · Sep 28, 2004

crabcake said:
as honestly (but age-appropriately) as possible, which is hard when you have a 6-year-old kid with a very perceptive, inquiring mind. The answers usually breed more questions.

We just had an abortion talk 2 weeks ago thanks to those 721 crosses outside the church. :ohwell:

sockgirl77 · Sep 28, 2004

tys_mommy said:
We just had an abortion talk 2 weeks ago thanks to those 721 crosses outside the church.

ouch

crabcake · Sep 28, 2004

tys_mommy said:
We just had an abortion talk 2 weeks ago thanks to those 721 crosses outside the church.

I hate crap like that. To me, that fuels the problem ... you put crosses in the yard showing the numbers of abortions, kids ask questions, you answer them in an attempt to be upfront and honest, kid learns there's a way out if he/she has an "accident", and bam, another cross in front of the church ... only this one bears the number of what would have been your grandchild. :ohwell:

There's a dude who drives a "hot political issue" of the month vehicle around DC too. A while back, he had pictures of aborted fetuses on the sides of it. :barf:

Now THAT is inappropriate, but I'm SURE it would have been a violation of his civil liberties to not show that crap on the streets where kids can see it.

Where the hell is the common sense in our society when it comes to things being "reasonable" for public display?

Oh, that's right, the liberals said it was a violation of their civil rights to be forced to use common sense.

happyappygirl · Sep 28, 2004

Pete said:
I don't think it is that hard. I am pretty straight with boy and he with me. Just yesterday he was asking me "Oh father dear, should you suffer a subdural-hemotoma or perhaps a deep brain aneurism that would be indicative of a prolonged if not certain vegetative state, would you like to remain on life support or would you prefer euthanasia through the removal of life supporting devices?":shrug:

and you said..........

Elle · Sep 28, 2004

crabcake said:
I hate crap like that. To me, that fuels the problem ... you put crosses in the yard showing the numbers of abortions, kids ask questions, you answer them in an attempt to be upfront and honest, kid learns there's a way out if he/she has an "accident", and bam, another cross in front of the church ... only this one bears the number of what would have been your grandchild.

I told him that sometimes mommies & daddies decide they don't want to have a baby so they have to go to a doctor and the baby will die. Of course "death" is a bad thing so I then explained that mommies and daddies should talk about having babies before the mommy gets pregnant. Thank Gawd we haven't had to address how mommy gets pregnant, but this conversation was over 10 minutes long and just question after question :burning:

crabcake · Sep 28, 2004

tys_mommy said:
Thank Gawd we haven't had to address how mommy gets pregnant, but this conversation was over 10 minutes long and just question after question

I could bring DQ over with her "Where Did I Come From?" book that her dad bought her ... at the ripe old age of 4.

happyappygirl · Sep 28, 2004

tys_mommy said:
I told him that sometimes mommies & daddies decide they don't want to have a baby so they have to go to a doctor and the baby will die. Of course "death" is a bad thing so I then explained that mommies and daddies should talk about having babies before the mommy gets pregnant.

Hmm..i would have explained those little crosses by saying they were for all the innocent little babies that died. End of that story.

IF i had to explain exactly what abortion IS...i would have asked her if she knew what "pregnant" was (which she does), then said abortion is making a pregnancy go away by having a doctor giving the mommy medicine to kill the baby and the baby is born dead, and in Maryland it's illegal to do that, but in some states it's not, so it happens. i would also have told her that it's each person's choice, but that i would never do that to an innocent healthy little baby. WOW now that would require some quick thinking.

crabcake · Sep 28, 2004

happyappygirl said:
WOW now that would require some quick thinking.

most "kid-quisitive" subjects require quick thinking.

Handling sensitive issues with kids

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