Misfit
Lawful neutral
COLUMN: Having a heart attack? Here's what not to do | Statesville Record & Landmark
1. If you are having pain and pressure on the left side of your chest that extends down your left arm and it is the middle of the night, do not get up, eat a snack, then go back to bed and try to “sleep it off.”
2. If, when you wake up, you are still experiencing the same symptoms, do not walk your children five blocks to school, then walk back home.
3. If the pain and pressure continue, do not drive yourself to work in the hopes that it will go away if you just focus on something else.
4. When you realize that is not working, do not drive yourself back home, and then suggest to your wife (who knows nothing about any of this) that you might go get some chest pains checked out at the emergency room in “a little while.”
5. When you arrive at the emergency room seven minutes later, do not assure the nurses, doctors and anyone else within hearing distance that you are sure it’s nothing, and that you should probably just go home now. On a related note: do not be so steadfast in your attempts to underplay what is happening that the doctor refers to you as “Captain Vague.”
1. If you are having pain and pressure on the left side of your chest that extends down your left arm and it is the middle of the night, do not get up, eat a snack, then go back to bed and try to “sleep it off.”
2. If, when you wake up, you are still experiencing the same symptoms, do not walk your children five blocks to school, then walk back home.
3. If the pain and pressure continue, do not drive yourself to work in the hopes that it will go away if you just focus on something else.
4. When you realize that is not working, do not drive yourself back home, and then suggest to your wife (who knows nothing about any of this) that you might go get some chest pains checked out at the emergency room in “a little while.”
5. When you arrive at the emergency room seven minutes later, do not assure the nurses, doctors and anyone else within hearing distance that you are sure it’s nothing, and that you should probably just go home now. On a related note: do not be so steadfast in your attempts to underplay what is happening that the doctor refers to you as “Captain Vague.”
