He’s cheating and it’s your fault

Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...nexpected-relationship-advice-youll-read.html


The first step towards recovery needs you to commit to change. And while you've probably said you are sorry a million times before to keep the peace, have you made a full apology? This is one that acknowledges your unhelpful behaviour (eg taking him for granted), accepts your responsibility (you've been so wrapped up in the children you've forgotten to be a wife as well as a mother), expresses sorrow and a determination to change, and is sincere.

In particular, do you need to apologise for nagging, a habit that could be destroying your relationship?

Acknowledge that it must make him feel constantly criticised. Promise not to nag again and that he should say something if he catches you doing it. Though it is tempting to add an explanation for your nagging, it can sound as if you're excusing yourself and therefore lessens the power of your apology.

Ultimately, if your husband thinks you spend the majority of your time complaining, nagging or getting angry, he will feel that all the joy has been sucked out of your relationship.
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C

czygvtwkr

Guest
vraiblonde said:
If they'd do what we ask the first time, we wouldn't have to nag.
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If you ladies would actually ask instead of having some sort subtle hints we might do it the first time you "ask"

I remember one time my mom said I'm going to clean and freeze all those green beans I got at this store yesterday", that was her telling my dad to go to get store and get freezer bags.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
czygvtwkr said:
I remember one time my mom said I'm going to clean and freeze all those green beans I got at this store yesterday", that was her telling my dad to go to get store and get freezer bags.
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That's your mom. I've never done that and never seen any other woman do it, either.
 
lucky_bee

lucky_bee

RBF expert
vraiblonde said:
That's your mom. I've never done that and never seen any other woman do it, either.
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I hate when women do that. I've had a few friends do that to their boyfriends/husbands. I grew up with 3 of the most oblivious men (more oblivious than your typical guy) and I know, if I want something...I simply ask. No clues or hinting and then getting upset when they didn't get it.

What WILL annoy the crap outta me is when I straight up ask you and you say "OK" and never do it. Now I have to ask you again, and you're going to complain I'm a nag. :doh:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
lucky_bee said:
What WILL annoy the crap outta me is when I straight up ask you and you say "OK" and never do it. Now I have to ask you again, and you're going to complain I'm a nag. :doh:
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When I was a young bride, my first husband and I had a discussion just like that.

Him: I'll do dishes for you tonight.
Me: Cool, thanks!
(a couple hours later no dishes have been done, so I head for the kitchen)
Him: What are you doing? I told you I'd get the dishes.
Me: Well you were absorbed in your show and I want to get them out of the way.
Him: Sit. I'll get them.
Me: Okay.
(another hour goes by, getting to be bedtime, dishes are still piled in the sink)
Me: If you're not going to do the dishes, just say so. I don't mind doing them, but I mind very much them sitting in the sink.
Him: I'll do them at commercial.
(commercial comes and goes; show comes back on; now I'm getting pissed)
Me: Dave, it's getting late. I'm going to do the dishes.
Him: JFC, what is it with you? I told you I'd do the damn dishes. If I don't get to them tonight I'll get them tomorrow. Now I shouldn't even do them at all because you keep nagging me about it.

And the fight was on....
 
F

FED_UP

Well-Known Member
vraiblonde said:
When I was a young bride, my first husband and I had a discussion just like that.

Him: I'll do dishes for you tonight.
Me: Cool, thanks!
(a couple hours later no dishes have been done, so I head for the kitchen)
Him: What are you doing? I told you I'd get the dishes.
Me: Well you were absorbed in your show and I want to get them out of the way.
Him: Sit. I'll get them.
Me: Okay.
(another hour goes by, getting to be bedtime, dishes are still piled in the sink)
Me: If you're not going to do the dishes, just say so. I don't mind doing them, but I mind very much them sitting in the sink.
Him: I'll do them at commercial.
(commercial comes and goes; show comes back on; now I'm getting pissed)
Me: Dave, it's getting late. I'm going to do the dishes.
Him: JFC, what is it with you? I told you I'd do the damn dishes. If I don't get to them tonight I'll get them tomorrow. Now I shouldn't even do them at all because you keep nagging me about it.

And the fight was on....
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You are a nagger. There is no time limit on doing dishes. I could see if guest were coming over or something like that, relax more V.
 
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Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
I found a flaw in that story.

It seems to be starting with a faulty premise; that men and women are SUPPOSED to live together.



:lmao:
 
warneckutz

warneckutz

Well-Known Member
lucky_bee said:
I hate when women do that. I've had a few friends do that to their boyfriends/husbands. I grew up with 3 of the most oblivious men (more oblivious than your typical guy) and I know, if I want something...I simply ask. No clues or hinting and then getting upset when they didn't get it.

What WILL annoy the crap outta me is when I straight up ask you and you say "OK" and never do it. Now I have to ask you again, and you're going to complain I'm a nag. :doh:
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High Maintanence.

:elaine:



:belvak:
 
KDENISE977

KDENISE977

New Member
vraiblonde said:
When I was a young bride, my first husband and I had a discussion just like that.

Him: I'll do dishes for you tonight.
Me: Cool, thanks!
(a couple hours later no dishes have been done, so I head for the kitchen)
Him: What are you doing? I told you I'd get the dishes.
Me: Well you were absorbed in your show and I want to get them out of the way.
Him: Sit. I'll get them.
Me: Okay.
(another hour goes by, getting to be bedtime, dishes are still piled in the sink)
Me: If you're not going to do the dishes, just say so. I don't mind doing them, but I mind very much them sitting in the sink.
Him: I'll do them at commercial.
(commercial comes and goes; show comes back on; now I'm getting pissed)
Me: Dave, it's getting late. I'm going to do the dishes.
Him: JFC, what is it with you? I told you I'd do the damn dishes. If I don't get to them tonight I'll get them tomorrow. Now I shouldn't even do them at all because you keep nagging me about it.

And the fight was on....
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I think I'm married to your ex !!!! I'd just as soon do it and then I can relax knowing it's done...period !!
 
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