Hear about the blonde who.............................?

[jazz lady]

* Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight...........?

* Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope...........?

* Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter...........?

* Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months. The box had said "2 to 4 years."..........?

* Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went
out...........?

* Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone
button...........?

* When asked what the capital of California was, answered
"C."..........?

* Can't make KoolAid because eight cups of water won't fit into one of those little packets...........?

* Got hurt when she fell out of the tree while raking
leaves...........?

* Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "Good up to 20 pounds."..........?

* After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms...........?

* What goes "vroomscreechvroomscreech"? A blonde at a flashing red light...........?

* Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says, "Hurry, it's starting to rain, and the top is
down."..........?

(Sorry - some are repeats )

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Updated version....

Yes, I think we all know her!!!
>
> A Blonde's Year in Review
>
> January
> Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
>
> February
> Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
> Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
>
> March
> Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said
> '2-4 years!'
>
> April
> Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
>
> May
> Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
> water won't fit into those little packets!!!
>
> June
> Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>
> July
> Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
> the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
>
> August
> Got locked out of car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was
> open.
>
> September
> The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???
>
> October
> Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
>
> November
> Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I
> weigh 108!!
>
> December ; ; ;
> Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid
> phone!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
>
> A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
> female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
>
> She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
>
> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
> again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house
> she went.
>
> As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
>
> Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
>
> To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
>
>
>
> (Are you ready?...)
>
>
>
>
>
> 'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

 

[meangirl]

 

[GWguy]

> THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
>
> A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
> female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
>
> She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
>
> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
> again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house
> she went.
>
> As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
>
> Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
>
> To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
>
>
>
> (Are you ready?...)
>
>
>
>
>
> 'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

A little bonus....

 

[Dymphna]

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