HELP!! Need Great Counselor for Depressed 18yrold

Junebug1

New Member
I have an 18 year old son that was great in school always achieved, is great in sports, he thought that he'd be a Redskin someday. Well after graduating in 2007 at 17 1/2 he found it hard to grow up (my fault I guess since I did everything for him, as long as he was doing good in school) When he was 15 his father and I separated, now getting a divorce. I've been telling his father for a year that something is wrong with our son, I was taking him to counseling until Dec. when he turned 18 and decided he didn't need to go cause he is 18. My son has been getting in trouble since last summer he got in a fight and is on probation. Well thank god for that as with no help from his father I have relied on DJS as the other parent. I have seen his anger towards me escalate since Dec. He was placed on house arrest due to his threatening me, I know that he began using drugs and quickly had him enrolled in a drug program. On March 22, my son lost his best friend, they were like brothers the 2 of them have been together throughout their lives, This has been the toughest thing I think that I have ever had to deal with. This is also my best friend of 28 years' son. When my son spoke at his best friends funeral I saw my old son the caring wonderful young man that I raised! As they say ..He really manned up to the plate, told about their life experiences, vacations, holidays, weekends, and just hanging out, I know that his best friends parents were as pround of him as I was. He continues to blame himself if only he had spent that night with his friend. I try and say and do everything to make him understand but again I don't think he's hearing me. Now I am seeing violant outbursts and pretty sure he's using drugs although he tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. 2 months ago I kicked him out, I let him come back 3 1/2 weeks ago only to find a bunch of paraphanalia in his room 2 days later. ( I guess I really do know what I'm talking about) I contacted his PO and he was violated he is now on house arrest at his dad's as I don't want him at my home right now. He is very angry at me, I can handle this most of the time, however, sometimes it just hurts so bad. Between dealing with him and his best friend's death, being there for my best friend though this and dealing with my own feelings over this and the way I see that my son blames himself and is destroying himself. Last week he tested positive for oxy's and was put in Boys Village for the weekend, he hated it, I took that as a positive and hope that it was an eye opener for him as to where he is headed if he continues on this destructive path. While he was away this past weekend, i recieved a call from the counselor about his concern for my son, he said that he is depressed! Well, This I already know. I have found grief counseling in Calvert but since he's in PG that is not an option right now. I have begged his father to find him some counseling, (to no avail) and to spend as much time with him as he possibly can with our son, and to just keep talking to him. I do not want to bury my child! What to Do??
 
M

Mousebaby

Guest
I have an 18 year old son that was great in school always achieved, is great in sports, he thought that he'd be a Redskin someday. Well after graduating in 2007 at 17 1/2 he found it hard to grow up (my fault I guess since I did everything for him, as long as he was doing good in school) When he was 15 his father and I separated, now getting a divorce. I've been telling his father for a year that something is wrong with our son, I was taking him to counseling until Dec. when he turned 18 and decided he didn't need to go cause he is 18. My son has been getting in trouble since last summer he got in a fight and is on probation. Well thank god for that as with no help from his father I have relied on DJS as the other parent. I have seen his anger towards me escalate since Dec. He was placed on house arrest due to his threatening me, I know that he began using drugs and quickly had him enrolled in a drug program. On March 22, my son lost his best friend, they were like brothers the 2 of them have been together throughout their lives, This has been the toughest thing I think that I have ever had to deal with. This is also my best friend of 28 years' son. When my son spoke at his best friends funeral I saw my old son the caring wonderful young man that I raised! As they say ..He really manned up to the plate, told about their life experiences, vacations, holidays, weekends, and just hanging out, I know that his best friends parents were as pround of him as I was. He continues to blame himself if only he had spent that night with his friend. I try and say and do everything to make him understand but again I don't think he's hearing me. Now I am seeing violant outbursts and pretty sure he's using drugs although he tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. 2 months ago I kicked him out, I let him come back 3 1/2 weeks ago only to find a bunch of paraphanalia in his room 2 days later. ( I guess I really do know what I'm talking about) I contacted his PO and he was violated he is now on house arrest at his dad's as I don't want him at my home right now. He is very angry at me, I can handle this most of the time, however, sometimes it just hurts so bad. Between dealing with him and his best friend's death, being there for my best friend though this and dealing with my own feelings over this and the way I see that my son blames himself and is destroying himself. Last week he tested positive for oxy's and was put in Boys Village for the weekend, he hated it, I took that as a positive and hope that it was an eye opener for him as to where he is headed if he continues on this destructive path. While he was away this past weekend, i recieved a call from the counselor about his concern for my son, he said that he is depressed! Well, This I already know. I have found grief counseling in Calvert but since he's in PG that is not an option right now. I have begged his father to find him some counseling, (to no avail) and to spend as much time with him as he possibly can with our son, and to just keep talking to him. I do not want to bury my child! What to Do??

Get in touch with this lady, she may be able to help. She helps people with all sorts of mental issues including depression. She may be able to point you in the right direction. Her name is Barbara Granger and her number is: HM:301-737-0347 or Cell: 443-285-2498.

There is also The St. Mary's County Mental Health Authority, one of the ladies names there is Brandy Price. The number there is: 301-475-4028.

Good Luck, I hope they can help you! :huggy:

Hang in there and give him lots of love. :flowers:
 

BadGirl

I am so very blessed
Even if your son refuses to seek counseling, or get help for his depression, it sounds as if you could benefit from counseling, too. Find a good, qualified and competent therapist, and GO.
 

BuddyLee

Football addict
We had the same problem in our immediate family. He was eventually thrown in jail for a month and has since turned his life around. He found the wrong crowd to hang out with.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a big brother of sorts. You say he liked football and the Skins. Maybe we can watch a game together or something.
 

poster

New Member
Don't neglect yourself!
I know someone who has had these same life events and is now 40.
Fortunately he is in a program and doing well today, who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Don't give up on him but I seriously think you need to see a therapist for you.
As he's an adult, and getting older, there's only so much you can do.
Seek support for yourself. There will be times (like now) when things are out of your control and you need to learn how to deal through that.
 

frozenrain

New Member
We had the same problem in our immediate family. He was eventually thrown in jail for a month and has since turned his life around. He found the wrong crowd to hang out with.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a big brother of sorts. You say he liked football and the Skins. Maybe we can watch a game together or something.

That is a very sweet of you to suggest:biggrin:
 
I'm very sorry to hear about your son, well, about the entire situation. It's got to be terribly hard on you. I don't know of anyone to refer you to but I wanted to say that I truly hope things get better for you and your family. :huggy:

We had the same problem in our immediate family. He was eventually thrown in jail for a month and has since turned his life around. He found the wrong crowd to hang out with.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a big brother of sorts. You say he liked football and the Skins. Maybe we can watch a game together or something.

What a nice thing for you to offer...:huggy:
 

wineo

loving life
Get in touch with this lady, she may be able to help. She helps people with all sorts of mental issues including depression. She may be able to point you in the right direction. Her name is Barbara Granger and her number is: HM:301-737-0347 or Cell: 443-285-2498.

There is also The St. Mary's County Mental Health Authority, one of the ladies names there is Brandy Price. The number there is: 301-475-4028.

Good Luck, I hope they can help you! :huggy:

Hang in there and give him lots of love. :flowers:

The Mental Health Auth was dissolved as of July 1st. You need to call the Office of Human Services at 301-475-4200. They work with all of the county agencies and private agencies for issues with Childern, Youth and Families. One stop shop for all services, they will be able to point you in the right directions. Barbara works for MD. Choices and they are a part of the Office of Human Services.

Good Luck
 

SouthernMdRocks

R.I.P. Bobo, We miss you!
I have an 18 year old son that was great in school always achieved, is great in sports, he thought that he'd be a Redskin someday. Well after graduating in 2007 at 17 1/2 he found it hard to grow up (my fault I guess since I did everything for him, as long as he was doing good in school) When he was 15 his father and I separated, now getting a divorce. I've been telling his father for a year that something is wrong with our son, I was taking him to counseling until Dec. when he turned 18 and decided he didn't need to go cause he is 18. My son has been getting in trouble since last summer he got in a fight and is on probation. Well thank god for that as with no help from his father I have relied on DJS as the other parent. I have seen his anger towards me escalate since Dec. He was placed on house arrest due to his threatening me, I know that he began using drugs and quickly had him enrolled in a drug program. On March 22, my son lost his best friend, they were like brothers the 2 of them have been together throughout their lives, This has been the toughest thing I think that I have ever had to deal with. This is also my best friend of 28 years' son. When my son spoke at his best friends funeral I saw my old son the caring wonderful young man that I raised! As they say ..He really manned up to the plate, told about their life experiences, vacations, holidays, weekends, and just hanging out, I know that his best friends parents were as pround of him as I was. He continues to blame himself if only he had spent that night with his friend. I try and say and do everything to make him understand but again I don't think he's hearing me. Now I am seeing violant outbursts and pretty sure he's using drugs although he tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. 2 months ago I kicked him out, I let him come back 3 1/2 weeks ago only to find a bunch of paraphanalia in his room 2 days later. ( I guess I really do know what I'm talking about) I contacted his PO and he was violated he is now on house arrest at his dad's as I don't want him at my home right now. He is very angry at me, I can handle this most of the time, however, sometimes it just hurts so bad. Between dealing with him and his best friend's death, being there for my best friend though this and dealing with my own feelings over this and the way I see that my son blames himself and is destroying himself. Last week he tested positive for oxy's and was put in Boys Village for the weekend, he hated it, I took that as a positive and hope that it was an eye opener for him as to where he is headed if he continues on this destructive path. While he was away this past weekend, i recieved a call from the counselor about his concern for my son, he said that he is depressed! Well, This I already know. I have found grief counseling in Calvert but since he's in PG that is not an option right now. I have begged his father to find him some counseling, (to no avail) and to spend as much time with him as he possibly can with our son, and to just keep talking to him. I do not want to bury my child! What to Do??

Good luck..I hope your son comes around soon. Susan Young at Calvert Hospital came highly recommended.:smoochy:
 
We had the same problem in our immediate family. He was eventually thrown in jail for a month and has since turned his life around. He found the wrong crowd to hang out with.

Same situation, we also had a family member in and out of drugs and rehabs... countless rehabs. You cannot help a person who will not help themselves. It was all a waste of time and money until they hit rock bottom.

Mom - sometimes it takes a life changing event to knock someone out of this and unfortunately, you will not be able to do it for them. All the counseling in the world will not help your son unless he wants to help himself.

In my families case it was not until the person landed their ass in jail, facing 20 years... once that hurdle was overcome and they got out, they were finally on the straight and narrow. They had to hit bottom in order for them to realize what they were doing to themselves.

It will be tough, but maybe you can find a miracle worker... if you don't be there for support and turn them in if you find stuff. In the end he will thank you.

Good Luck
 
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