I have an 18 year old son that was great in school always achieved, is great in sports, he thought that he'd be a Redskin someday. Well after graduating in 2007 at 17 1/2 he found it hard to grow up (my fault I guess since I did everything for him, as long as he was doing good in school) When he was 15 his father and I separated, now getting a divorce. I've been telling his father for a year that something is wrong with our son, I was taking him to counseling until Dec. when he turned 18 and decided he didn't need to go cause he is 18. My son has been getting in trouble since last summer he got in a fight and is on probation. Well thank god for that as with no help from his father I have relied on DJS as the other parent. I have seen his anger towards me escalate since Dec. He was placed on house arrest due to his threatening me, I know that he began using drugs and quickly had him enrolled in a drug program. On March 22, my son lost his best friend, they were like brothers the 2 of them have been together throughout their lives, This has been the toughest thing I think that I have ever had to deal with. This is also my best friend of 28 years' son. When my son spoke at his best friends funeral I saw my old son the caring wonderful young man that I raised! As they say ..He really manned up to the plate, told about their life experiences, vacations, holidays, weekends, and just hanging out, I know that his best friends parents were as pround of him as I was. He continues to blame himself if only he had spent that night with his friend. I try and say and do everything to make him understand but again I don't think he's hearing me. Now I am seeing violant outbursts and pretty sure he's using drugs although he tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. 2 months ago I kicked him out, I let him come back 3 1/2 weeks ago only to find a bunch of paraphanalia in his room 2 days later. ( I guess I really do know what I'm talking about) I contacted his PO and he was violated he is now on house arrest at his dad's as I don't want him at my home right now. He is very angry at me, I can handle this most of the time, however, sometimes it just hurts so bad. Between dealing with him and his best friend's death, being there for my best friend though this and dealing with my own feelings over this and the way I see that my son blames himself and is destroying himself. Last week he tested positive for oxy's and was put in Boys Village for the weekend, he hated it, I took that as a positive and hope that it was an eye opener for him as to where he is headed if he continues on this destructive path. While he was away this past weekend, i recieved a call from the counselor about his concern for my son, he said that he is depressed! Well, This I already know. I have found grief counseling in Calvert but since he's in PG that is not an option right now. I have begged his father to find him some counseling, (to no avail) and to spend as much time with him as he possibly can with our son, and to just keep talking to him. I do not want to bury my child! What to Do??