HELP!! Squirrel!!!!

jazz lady

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
Misfit said:
Can he make an owl Jesus? If he can, they could throw it up and down like when they throw cheerleaders at a football game.

The girls could scream "HE IS RISEN!!!" and the guys then scream "WHO!!!".

I bet that would scare the squirrel away.
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
twinoaks207

twinoaks207

Having Fun!
RodRugg said:
Did you check on Bill Stabbs? I saw him standing in his driveway this morning but it looked like he was waiting for somebody to pick him up because he had some garbage bags, a twitcher's pole, and a gallon of lemonade (for him). Also you could try that Amish guy that lives down from Bill. He don't attack animals but he makes stuff out of glued up dust that looks real. He mostly does Jesus babies for Christmas or Abraham Lincolns for other holidays but he can also do animals because one time my uncle Stanley got him to make a half owl half baby to scare them Halloween kids. He made it pop out of a garbage can and it looked just like the real thing! That would probably work to scare that squirrel away since owls eat squirrels and babies can crawl around and get to small spaces in the ceiling. He can also do angels, grown-up Jesuses, and babies with Abraham Lincoln heads for jokes or whatever. I think the owl-baby would work best for the squirrel though.
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Bill couldn't make it. Some Van full of day laborers picked him up on their way to a job site in PG county. He tried to tell them that he wasn't waiting for their pick-up but they didn't understand English. Last I heard from him he was wandering somewhere inside the Beltway between Riverdale & Hyattsville.

The Amish guy said he took a commission from Trump to do a holiday display on the White House Lawn. He keeps trying to get inside the gate to scope out where to put stuff but the Secret Service keeps tossing him back over the fence. He's still trying but the Press keeps reporting him as being a Russian even though he keeps telling them that Amish are originally "Pennsylvania Dutch (Deutch) and why don't they know the difference between German & Russian!
 
RoseRed

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
twinoaks207 said:
Bill couldn't make it. Some Van full of day laborers picked him up on their way to a job site in PG county. He tried to tell them that he wasn't waiting for their pick-up but they didn't understand English. Last I heard from him he was wandering somewhere inside the Beltway between Riverdale & Hyattsville.

The Amish guy said he took a commission from Trump to do a holiday display on the White House Lawn. He keeps trying to get inside the gate to scope out where to put stuff but the Secret Service keeps tossing him back over the fence. He's still trying but the Press keeps reporting him as being a Russian even though he keeps telling them that Amish are originally "Pennsylvania Dutch (Deutch) and why don't they know the difference between German & Russian!
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:lmao:

This tread wins the SOMD internet this week! :roflmao:
 
Kyle

Kyle

ULTRA-F###ING-MAGA!
PREMO Member
Nominations for the "Annual Feral Cat Award" are starting early this year.
 
gemma_rae

gemma_rae

Well-Known Member
I'm not posting this to be funny. Get about 4-6 peanut scented glue traps and staple or duct tape them all together flat and tie a string to it. When he gets good and stuck just pull him out. He's going to die for sure, but at least it won't be in the ceiling.

You can cut the tail off and got Bill Stabbs to mount it!
 
jazz lady

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
gemma_rae said:
I'm not posting this to be funny. Get about 4-6 peanut scented glue traps and staple or duct tape them all together flat and tie a string to it. When he gets good and stuck just pull him out. He's going to die for sure, but at least it won't be in the ceiling.

You can cut the tail off and got Bill Stabbs to mount it!
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:roflmao: You guys are killing me today. :killingme
 
F

FED_UP

Well-Known Member
twinoaks207 said:
Hello fellow forumites! Please forgive my prolonged absence -- life got way too busy!

i am in search of a licensed professional who can remove the squirrel in my living room/dining room ceiling before he succeeds in his efforts to chew through my ceiling tiles (OLD house) and does a re-enactment of the squirrel scene from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation movie!

Can anyone recommend a local company that will come to Northern Calvert today, or at least someone to call? I've got one company on call for tomorrow but this little devil has tried to chew through two tiles already and I am tired of being on "squirrel watch". I want him out and he can't seem to remember how he got in!

Any assistance is appreciated!
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Leave the poor squirrel alone, its just looking for a nut.
 
Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
gemma_rae said:
I'm not posting this to be funny. Get about 4-6 peanut scented glue traps and staple or duct tape them all together flat and tie a string to it. When he gets good and stuck just pull him out. He's going to die for sure, but at least it won't be in the ceiling.

You can cut the tail off and got Bill Stabbs to mount it!
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I was in NC one summer trying to catch a snake that lived under my house. I didn't want to get my mesh half shirt dirty so I hung it on the electrical box and climbed under the crawl space. I was laying glue traps and one got stuck to my chest. I was under there trying to pull it off, and I thought the snake slithered over my foot. I started screaming and freaked out. When I got out of there I had to pull the glue trap off and it wouldn't come at first so I ripped it off, and now I have one long nipple.
 
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gemma_rae

gemma_rae

Well-Known Member
Misfit said:
I was in NC one summer trying to catch a snake that lived under my house. I didn't want to get my mesh half shirt dirty so I hung it on the electrical box and climbed under the crawl space. I was laying glue traps and one got stuck to my chest. I was under there trying to pull it off, and I thought the snake slithered over my foot. I started screaming and freaked out. When I got out of there I had to pull the glue trap off and it wouldn't come at first so I ripped it off, and now I have one long nipple.
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Maybe Bill Stabbs can get one off the squirrel and mount it on you. All he can do is say no.
 
F

FED_UP

Well-Known Member
OP I got this solved for you, take a ceiling tile down that is near the doors, keep the doors wide open and for back up get a wide board with nails through it and put it under the removed tiles, and put some nuts on it to entice the varmint to jump down.

Plan B: When I was in highschool there was this chick that was so UGLY, that when you looked at her tears came out your eyes. If I can get hold of her and get her up in the attic the squirrel will come running to your arms for safety.
 
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PeoplesElbow

PeoplesElbow

Well-Known Member
In all seriousness I had to get some guy in Virginia to come and squirrel my house.

I tried catching it myself in a have a heart trap I bought at Lowes but it just wouldnt go in. In all I think it cost me $250 to get rid of that damn thing.
 
twinoaks207

twinoaks207

Having Fun!
PeoplesElbow said:
In all seriousness I had to get some guy in Virginia to come and squirrel my house.

I tried catching it myself in a have a heart trap I bought at Lowes but it just wouldnt go in. In all I think it cost me $250 to get rid of that damn thing.
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Alas, poor squirrel, he is no more (with apologies to The Bard).

The men opted for a kill trap over my objections, operating under the theory that it was getting in and going back out and if they caught it and let it go, it would just come back in and we'd be stuck again. I looked it in the eye and I knew it couldn't get back out but of course, the female knows nothing.

I was standing underneath it when the damn thing went off --- scared the bejeezus out of me. Now I have to smudge my entire house and figure out how to get rid of this very bad karma.

Sigh...if only that van hadn't stopped & Trump called the Amish guy. Perhaps the squirrel could have gotten out alive to squirrel someplace else.

I think we might be somewhere around $300 or so right now. Guy is coming back to plug some holes.

Funny thing, though...haven't seen any squirrels in the yard this morning....
 
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