HillBillyChick
New Member
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me
to time an egg.
> >
> >It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, Yet
she won't drink from my glass!
> >
> >Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a Sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
> >
> >A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home."
I Went over. Nobody was home!
> >
> >A hooker once told me she had a headache.
> >
> >I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
> >
> >If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
> >
> >I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are
you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate
myself now."
> >
> >I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when
you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
> >
> >I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
> >
> >My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the Kitchen
> >the roaches hang themselves.
> >
> >I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
> >
> >The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked
"Why?" He said "Because you came home early."
> >
> >My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
> >
> >I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
> >
> >My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
> >
> >My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from
Chicago last night.
> >
> >My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of
had anything to play with.
to time an egg.
> >
> >It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, Yet
she won't drink from my glass!
> >
> >Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a Sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
> >
> >A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home."
I Went over. Nobody was home!
> >
> >A hooker once told me she had a headache.
> >
> >I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
> >
> >If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
> >
> >I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are
you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate
myself now."
> >
> >I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when
you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
> >
> >I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
> >
> >My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the Kitchen
> >the roaches hang themselves.
> >
> >I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
> >
> >The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked
"Why?" He said "Because you came home early."
> >
> >My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
> >
> >I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
> >
> >My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
> >
> >My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from
Chicago last night.
> >
> >My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of
had anything to play with.
