bcp
In My Opinion
JPC, look brother, It has come to my attention that perhaps I have not been compassionate enough toward your disability and the resulting work status that this has left you in.
Being a person that tries to help, I find that I am somewhat embarrassed by my continuous joking of your situation, and of your desire to fill a position in the county government that would allow you to assist others in their quest for a fulfilling life. So, I have thought long and hard about how to alleviate this injustice that I have inflicted upon you.
I thought hard about the qualifications that you have shared with us so willingly, and have come up with some possible employment alternatives for you to look into. I do this because the mean people that are now in government are going to do illegal things to keep you from entering their protected circle of power.
First, I thought about the spray painting that you have done in your past. It is obvious that your skill level is unaffected by the tragic condition of your hands, so I would like to offer this suggestion first.
Auto repair shop
The nice man at the auto repair shop might give you a job painting cars and big trucks that go vroom vroom. The nice man will give you a sprayer that is connected to a big container of paint so you can keep painting for a long time and not have to change cans. Sounds pretty cool huh? Just like a big boy job.
Next I thought that since you have taught yourself law, and it is obvious that you like being in the library, your reading skills must be top notch, equal to that of any 6th grader around. A skill to be proud of for sure. This skill set could get you a job going around reading books to children at various libraries in the county. You could read books like “The Big Red Choo Choo” and “Everybody Poops” and you could even maybe learn how to be an engineer on a real train. WOW!
For a more relaxed position, I thought of an office job.
Stamp licker. You could just sit in a nice comfortable chair, and when the pretty ladies that work in the office need to mail something, they could come over to you and wipe the stamp across your tounge. The real benefit here is that stamps have about 3 calories per licking, with an active office, it is possible that you could lick like 1000 stamps a day, giving you all of your calorie needs each day. Think of the time saved from dumpster diving..
But, then I thought, maybe JPC wants to try something new and really exciting, so I thought maybe you would be interested in being a tester for bungee jumping equipment,, its kinda like a test pilot.
Please accept my apologies for making fun of your obvious superior mind and work ethic and consider these alternatives to your future job hunting endeavors.
See People, I can be helpful
Being a person that tries to help, I find that I am somewhat embarrassed by my continuous joking of your situation, and of your desire to fill a position in the county government that would allow you to assist others in their quest for a fulfilling life. So, I have thought long and hard about how to alleviate this injustice that I have inflicted upon you.
I thought hard about the qualifications that you have shared with us so willingly, and have come up with some possible employment alternatives for you to look into. I do this because the mean people that are now in government are going to do illegal things to keep you from entering their protected circle of power.
First, I thought about the spray painting that you have done in your past. It is obvious that your skill level is unaffected by the tragic condition of your hands, so I would like to offer this suggestion first.
Auto repair shop
The nice man at the auto repair shop might give you a job painting cars and big trucks that go vroom vroom. The nice man will give you a sprayer that is connected to a big container of paint so you can keep painting for a long time and not have to change cans. Sounds pretty cool huh? Just like a big boy job.
Next I thought that since you have taught yourself law, and it is obvious that you like being in the library, your reading skills must be top notch, equal to that of any 6th grader around. A skill to be proud of for sure. This skill set could get you a job going around reading books to children at various libraries in the county. You could read books like “The Big Red Choo Choo” and “Everybody Poops” and you could even maybe learn how to be an engineer on a real train. WOW!
For a more relaxed position, I thought of an office job.
Stamp licker. You could just sit in a nice comfortable chair, and when the pretty ladies that work in the office need to mail something, they could come over to you and wipe the stamp across your tounge. The real benefit here is that stamps have about 3 calories per licking, with an active office, it is possible that you could lick like 1000 stamps a day, giving you all of your calorie needs each day. Think of the time saved from dumpster diving..
But, then I thought, maybe JPC wants to try something new and really exciting, so I thought maybe you would be interested in being a tester for bungee jumping equipment,, its kinda like a test pilot.
Please accept my apologies for making fun of your obvious superior mind and work ethic and consider these alternatives to your future job hunting endeavors.
See People, I can be helpful
