How Much Can You Spend Without Telling?

[nhboy]

"This is a question mainly for readers in a relationship in which finances are mostly combined or you rely on one another for income and make spending decisions together. I am wondering how much you can spend—whether as a percentage of a total budget or a hard dollar amount—without discussing the details with your significant other. Do you hide any spending from your spouse or partner? (Don’t worry, you can answer anonymously.)

Perhaps you each knowingly keep some separate funds to surprise one another, but I’m more concerned with the little things that may go unnoticed. Can this type of deception be harmful? If so, at what limit would it hurt you or your partner?

Also, do you have or would you consider having a secret bank account? If so, what is it used for? "

http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2008/03/19/question-for-discussion-how-much-can-you-spend-without-telling/#comments

 

[BarbiesCandles]

My guy and I have been together for about 6 years now and we have a joint account and each of our own accounts... But we both have access to all 3 accounts. I would say though that I could spend about $20.00 without saying anything to him about it... I work too and I should be able to spend when and where I want to... He buys what he wants and where he wants and so do I... But if it is over $20.00 we definately inform one another, regardless of what account it comes out of. Having joint finances has been wonderful and I am really liking it, There are downfalls though because now his bills are my bills... But he makes more money than me so he is ussually paying my bills to HEHE

 

[bcp]

check my avatar.

 

[Mdcopswife]

We have a joint checking, he has his own savings, and I have my own checking. He makes way more than I do so he pays 90% of all our bills. I pay for grocerys, kids clothing, and anything extra. We usually discuss purchases over $100.00 or more.

 

[toppick08]

check my avatar.

:

 

[HouseCat]

I got burnt on my first marriage by agreeing to a joint checking account. My first husband spent all the money and never had anything to show. Therefore, I keep my checking/savings separate now and it works out much better. My husbands money is just that... my husbands money. MY money is just that... mine to do with what I see fit.
We each have our own car payments and bills we both pay. If I want something and can't pay for it, I don't buy it! As far as the house and utilities, it is divided evenly. I pay this/that...he pays the other half. We agreed to that, and that's how it is. I have an automatic wire set up to his account from mine for help with the house payment, so there's no joint account needed.

As far as what is left over...that is nobody's business. Same with his money.. if he has left over, and comes home with a new boat, or gun..., I don't give a crap as long as he's paying his bills. Same with me. If I feel like going Lowes or Sears and spending a wad of money on crap, he doesn't care because he knows I always take care of bills first; extra stuff later!...(unless it involves him having to use the materials to build stuff...then I get in trouble...a lot )

If we have a home project or vacation plan that we need to save up for, we set out a plan and contribute to it, as equally as we can. Like this summer for instance....he's paying for a trip back home; got the tickets, etc. I'll probably pay for the food, gas, to help out. I'm paying for a trip to Disney World after that, and he said he'd pay for the gas and food this time.

It's all about communication, trust and RESPECT which makes it work for us. This whole "your money is MY money" crap, I don't agree with. My husband and I make the same amount of money too, so I realize that makes a little difference for us. We are both very financially responsible and dont' live out of our means either, so that's another reason it works.

As far as separate, secret accounts.. I don't care. He does with what he sees fit with the extra...same here. Got to have trust in that area!