How to discipline your toddler?

[CalvertNewbie]

It didn't "confuse" me. I knew if I got spanked I had done something wrong and my parents meant business. A swat on the butt does not = abuse but it does get their attention and teach them that mommy and daddy won't tolerate bratty behavior and if they act up in the future, there will be consequences. And don't be embarrassed.....99.99% of toddlers and preschoolers have public meltdowns at one time or another, especially if they're out and about when they probably need a nap.

I must be a magnet for bratty kids. It seems that wherever I go they magically appear, throwing massive tantrums. It's so easy to see which parents call the shots and which ones let their children walk all over them. My Mom gave me "the look" and I knew to cut it out....and quick. I hope to have the same effect on my future child.

 

[Chain729]

Of course this world is full of contradictions . I guess just explaining the difference. You can see when young toddlers are hit they just copy and do not understand different situations.

It's a ridiculous argument. Hitting in and of itself is harmless. Hell, if seeing that or having it done made for violent kids, so would contact sports and looney tunes.

Smacking the kid because Mommy or Daddy is ticked off is completely different than a disciplinary action. The little one sees that.

Let's get back on topic here. I start out every morning by beating my children. Just for general purpose of course. They need a little taste of what they're gonna get if they act up later in the day. It's pretty effective.

"If your child does not cower in fear when you get home, you have failed as a parent!"

Love your kids? Prove it by beating them.

 

[JimW711]

I completely agree. That is the exact reason I changed careers and got out of teaching. The lack of discipline at home nowadays makes it so difficult to effectively teach in school. The children who are well behaved suffer because of the children who do not behave. You spend so much time "babysitting" and teaching manners that were not taught at home, that you can't teach the way you should be able to. Then there are those fabulous parents sarcasm who find the behavior amusing and do nothing to help the situation their children cause. After all, it wasn't their fault their child was a terror.

Growing up, my brother & I both knew that if we acted up in school, we were in BIG trouble at home. Were we angels? No. Did we occasionally get spanked? Yes we did, sometimes with the wooden spoon. There is a big difference between abuse and a swat on the butt or hand. For some children, time out works and spanking isn't necessary. For others, time out is a joke. Different children need different discipline methods.

Almost exactly what I said in an earlier comments

 

[Vince]

Growing up, my brother & I both knew that if we acted up in school, we were in BIG trouble at home. Were we angels? No. Did we occasionally get spanked? Yes we did, sometimes with the wooden spoon. There is a big difference between abuse and a swat on the butt or hand. For some children, time out works and spanking isn't necessary. For others, time out is a joke. Different children need different discipline methods.

When I was young my father did the discipline. Mom just said one thing, "wait until your father gets home." You knew then you were finished. If Dad spanked you it was with a strap and that thing hurt. Obviously you didn't get hit hard enough to do permanent damage. But hard enough where you had some red across your butt. Consequently you behaved. Duh. I only got spanked a few times. Once I was playing with matches and burned down the neighbors hay stack. Got spanked and grounded for a month. The grounding hurt worse than the spanking.

 

[barncat]

How do school teachers discipline kids? Daycare providers? How come they can all do it without hitting? Are they smarter than you?

It's not the teachers or daycare providers job to discipline. Teachers teach and a daycare provider ensures that a child is safe and taken care of when the parent is not present. It is the parents job to raise their child, and raising consist of discipline, so they know how to behave when in school and at daycare. I would never think of sending my child to school or daycare for discipline. And haven't you seen the kids in school that have had no discipline at home...

I argee with the other poster who stated that adults are confusing their discipline as a child with abuse. Spanking a child for misbehaving is not abuse and I'm tired of all the wimpy parents giving me the evil eye when I spank my child. She knows the consequences when she misbehaves and it must not be that bad because she normally gets in trouble for the same offense more then once.

Folks need to be a parent and quit trying to be their child's best friend.

 

[JimW711]

It's not the teachers or daycare providers job to discipline. Teachers teach and a daycare provider ensures that a child is safe and taken care of when the parent is not present. It is the parents job to raise their child, and raising consist of discipline, so they know how to behave when in school and at daycare. I would never think of sending my child to school or daycare for discipline. And haven't you seen the kids in school that have had no discipline at home...

I argee with the other poster who stated that adults are confusing their discipline as a child with abuse. Spanking a child for misbehaving is not abuse and I'm tired of all the wimpy parents giving me the evil eye when I spank my child. She knows the consequences when she misbehaves and it must not be that bad because she normally gets in trouble for the same offense more then once.

Folks need to be a parent and quit trying to be their child's best friend.

Almost exactly what I've said in earlier comments, but I ended my remarks with
SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD

 

[DanceMom]

Just to clear up the confussion - spanking in the state of maryland is considered abuse - regardless of whether it is your child you are spanking or it's just your husband spanking you...

I too was an abused child - beat up by mom and the brother, hospitalized multiple times, broken bones, stitches, raped by brothers friends, etc the told to tell the nurse I was in a neighborhood fight (we lived in a very very nice area - where you don't have fist fights) ....there is a definate line difference in a spank on the bottom and abuse. I know the difference.

I choose to use timeout and take away toys. Works for me, my kids are well behaved most of the time. Every kid has a bad day here or there.

 

[mAlice]

Just to clear up the confussion - spanking in the state of maryland is considered abuse - regardless of whether it is your child you are spanking or it's just your husband spanking you...

I too was an abused child - beat up by mom and the brother, hospitalized multiple times, broken bones, stitches, raped by brothers friends, etc the told to tell the nurse I was in a neighborhood fight (we lived in a very very nice area - where you don't have fist fights) ....there is a definate line difference in a spank on the bottom and abuse. I know the difference.

I choose to use timeout and take away toys. Works for me, my kids are well behaved most of the time. Every kid has a bad day here or there.

MARYLAND

Law does not prohibit reasonable punishment by parent or stepparent, including reasonable corporal punishment, evaluated in light of the age and condition of child. Sec. 4-501.[Ci.]

Spanking Laws

 

[poster]

I have a 3 year old boy and he is starting to get really rowdy. We do the naughty step which seems to be working some of the time. He has had a few tantrums that were really bad. Kicking and screaming. It is frustrating and i don't spank my kids as i was a child of abuse. I tried just hugging him and telling him i love him. I thought it would detract him from his tantrum and be like what is this women doing...lol! I just want to know how you guys handle it. I get embarrassed sometimes in public when he does act up.

There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to spank.
I was loaned a video once for "1.2.3.magic" when I was having issues with my daughter. It does work if you follow their rules. My daughter is 8 and it still works for us.

Tantrums you need to TOTALLY ignore, don't acknowledge them at all. He'll figure out quickly that it gets him nothing and move on.

You also need to remember you are NOT his friend. Giving hugs and attention during bad behavior gives him a mixed message.

When in public be prepared to leave at any time - if he can't behave just go.
Naps are a big factor in behavior when kids are that young, keep the naps going even if it's just "resting" and not napping.

 

[pixiegirl]

Just to clear up the confussion - spanking in the state of maryland is considered abuse - regardless of whether it is your child you are spanking or it's just your husband spanking you...

You're obviously confussed.

 

[Mojo]

There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to spank.
I was loaned a video once for "1.2.3.magic" when I was having issues with my daughter. It does work if you follow their rules. My daughter is 8 and it still works for us.

Tantrums you need to TOTALLY ignore, don't acknowledge them at all. He'll figure out quickly that it gets him nothing and move on.

You also need to remember you are NOT his friend. Giving hugs and attention during bad behavior gives him a mixed message.

When in public be prepared to leave at any time - if he can't behave just go.
Naps are a big factor in behavior when kids are that young, keep the naps going even if it's just "resting" and not napping.

She can't hear you

 

[pcjohnnyb]

Just to clear up the confussion - spanking in the state of maryland is considered abuse - regardless of whether it is your child you are spanking or it's just your husband spanking you...

I too was an abused child - beat up by mom and the brother, hospitalized multiple times, broken bones, stitches, raped by brothers friends, etc the told to tell the nurse I was in a neighborhood fight (we lived in a very very nice area - where you don't have fist fights) ....there is a definate line difference in a spank on the bottom and abuse. I know the difference.

I choose to use timeout and take away toys. Works for me, my kids are well behaved most of the time. Every kid has a bad day here or there.

MARYLAND

Law does not prohibit reasonable punishment by parent or stepparent, including reasonable corporal punishment, evaluated in light of the age and condition of child. Sec. 4-501.[Ci.]

Spanking Laws

I can't believe someone thought spanking was illegal The addition of "it doesn't matter if it's your husband spanking you" was cute though

 

[Gwydion]

41/20/0

 

[mAlice]

Reading through them (not all) it looks like spanking is allowed in (almost?) every state. Even California permits spanking/corporal punishment.

 

[Dymphna]

MARYLAND

Law does not prohibit reasonable punishment by parent or stepparent, including reasonable corporal punishment, evaluated in light of the age and condition of child. Sec. 4-501.[Ci.]

Spanking Laws

When I worked for social services, the CPS workers used to give parents lessons in just how hard and where they could smack their kids to keep them in line without getting in trouble with CPS....

If it doesn't leave a mark...:shrug:

 

[LordStanley]

When I worked for social services, the CPS workers used to give parents lessons in just how hard and where they could smack their kids to keep them in line without getting in trouble with CPS....

If it doesn't leave a mark...:shrug:

Thats why ya use a phone book on them

 

[pcjohnnyb]

Thats why ya use a phone book on them

 

[SoMDGirl42]

When I worked for social services, the CPS workers used to give parents lessons in just how hard and where they could smack their kids to keep them in line without getting in trouble with CPS....

If it doesn't leave a mark...:shrug:

Correction. If it doesn't leave a bruise. A small red hand print is acceptable, without bruising. The mark should disappear shortly after the spanking.

 

[DanceMom]

There is something wrong with our society as a whole if we are going to great lengths to teach parents how to correctly spank a child. It's just wrong. I'm not saying I've never spanked my child - but I don't anymore. Spanking is my frustration and it's not effective for my child to learn.

I am speaking on behalf of myself and my children.

 

[Chain729]

There is something wrong with our society as a whole if we are going to great lengths to teach parents how to correctly spank a child. It's just wrong. I'm not saying I've never spanked my child - but I don't anymore. Spanking is my frustration and it's not effective for my child to learn.
I am speaking on behalf of myself and my children.

Just because you punish your kids because of anger rather than justice, doesn't mean the rest of the world does, moron.