I am so sick of cooking! Suggestions?

[Restless]

Hi! I hope you all had nice thanksgivings!

I am hoping someone can give me suggestions. I have been married for 34 years, and we have two daughters, ages 21 and 14. I grew up in a traditional American home of the 60s where Dad worked and Mom managed our home. I've been pretty much doing the same thing. I loved staying at home with the girls, taking care of our home, homeschooling, etc. BUT I am so sick of planning and cooking meals. It depresses me. I have lots of recipes, but we are all kind of picky eaters so it's hard. For instance, my husband hates any kind of pasta, my youngest eats what a picky five year old would eat. Seriously. The two of them have issues with textures of food.

Anyway, I'm so tired of it. They are all old enough to make themselves things to eat, I know. I ask them to write on our grocery board what they want from the store, but they rarely do, except for the oldest daughter.

Do you have any ideas? If we were financially better off, we would eat out more often. I am hoping to get a part time job so we can afford to do more things like that. We eat out maybe once every two weeks - fast food. Even fast food prices are getting ridiculous! Thanks for any ideas.

 

[dan0623_2000]

You are working entirely to hard to please them with what appears to be little help from them. When I was about 12 or 13 my mom took me in the kitchen and showed me the basics of cooking. She also explained that breakfast, lunch, and sinner were at certain times. If I was not there at that time then it was up to me to feed myself. If I did not like what she cooked then I was welcome to cook what I wanted.
I think your idea of a grocery board is a good. If they will not help you out then that is their hard luck.
After 34 years it is time for then to step up and help you out

 

[vraiblonde]

When I was making the menu for the week so I could grocery shop, I went around and had each family member choose one or two meals they wanted. The other kids and Larry had to just suck it up if someone chose a meal that wasn't their personal favorite.

That said, I agree with Dan - we're not talking little kids here, we're talking about a teen and an adult. I think they're lucky you feed them at all. If it were me I would only take requests from the person who earns the money to purchase the groceries. The rest can eat what I cook, or fend for themselves.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

Hi! I hope you all had nice thanksgivings!

I am hoping someone can give me suggestions. I have been married for 34 years, and we have two daughters, ages 21 and 14. I grew up in a traditional American home of the 60s where Dad worked and Mom managed our home. I've been pretty much doing the same thing. I loved staying at home with the girls, taking care of our home, homeschooling, etc. BUT I am so sick of planning and cooking meals. It depresses me. I have lots of recipes, but we are all kind of picky eaters so it's hard. For instance, my husband hates any kind of pasta, my youngest eats what a picky five year old would eat. Seriously. The two of them have issues with textures of food.

Anyway, I'm so tired of it. They are all old enough to make themselves things to eat, I know. I ask them to write on our grocery board what they want from the store, but they rarely do, except for the oldest daughter.

Do you have any ideas? If we were financially better off, we would eat out more often. I am hoping to get a part time job so we can afford to do more things like that. We eat out maybe once every two weeks - fast food. Even fast food prices are getting ridiculous! Thanks for any ideas.

"Textures of food?" Sounds like my little Brother.
It also sounds to me like the other two adults in the house; your other half and your 21 year old need to take turns planning/cooking meals; either daily or weekly. If your 14 year old doesn't like what's "on the menu," she can make/eat.....Spaghetti-O's, or call (Insert pizza chain of choice and pay for it herself) for example. Five year olds like Spaghetti-O's and pizza.
That's what my Mom told Dad, my Brother and me....."If you want something else; you can make it." Sometimes my Brother and I did. When we got our D/L's, we would go get something if we didn't want what Mom had planned. Didn't happen very often.

Have you tried making a pot of homemade chili, stew or soup? I mean, good weather for that kinda thing is coming; and you can get more than one night's meal of of them. Or is there a 'texture of food' problem there too?

 

[Roman]

When my kids were still living at home, I cooked mainly what my husband wanted. He was the bread winner, and I was a stay at home mom. Or I cooked what we could afford. If they didn't like it, oh well! They had cereal, or they made a sandwich. They didn't mind what I cooked for the most part.

 

[Bann]

Agree with the above posters here. Getting a favorite meal or three from each person gives you something to plan for each week and then you can vary it week to week. Or sit down as a family and come up with about 20 dinners you can rotate week to week. The two girls are old enough to really make what they wanted if they didn't like something. I've always been of the mindset that I make dinner, you eat it. If they didn't want it, they could go hungry or make something else. (sandwich, cereal, etc) I had a somewhat picky eater at times, and I tried to always include at least 1 thing I knew he'd eat. (when he was younger, that is - as he got older, nope - eat what I make or not)

Your house is If you need a break from the whole recipe/meal planning of it all - then take it. Let them fend for themselves once in a while. What are they gonna do - fire you?

 

[PJay]

Eat what is given...or starve.

 

[ginwoman]

you have spoiled these people. Sounds like you created this monster. It will be hard probably impossible to change them now.

 

[BadGirl]

Invite the adults to plan, shop for, and prepare at least one meal per week. They need to learn to cook, and it is good for them to realize what a difficult situation they have put you in by making you do all of the work for all these years.

 

[vraiblonde]

you have spoiled these people. Sounds like you created this monster. It will be hard probably impossible to change them now.

She likes those monsters - she said she grew up that way and that's what she's comfortable with. And I get that - I was raised to be traditional as well: women in the kitchen and guys in front of the TV or fixing something. I'm still shaky with Monello creating food in my kitchen, and he's a professional.

 

[Larry Gude]

Invite the adults to plan, shop for, and prepare at least one meal per week. They need to learn to cook, and it is good for them to realize what a difficult situation they have put you in by making you do all of the work for all these years.

That.


At the end of the day, every day, we eat, we sleep we crap. We should aspire to a nice bed, good food and a sports page in arms reach. Some beer would be good, too. And guitars...guns are nice...

 

[Radiant1]

Eat what is given...or starve.

^This. I was raised with, "If you're hungry you'll eat it" and I pretty much tell my kids the same thing. Only on very rare occasions do they choose to go to bed hungry.

 

[Restless]

Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. I think I am stuck in a mindset of "tradition" that needs to be changed. I have spoiled this bunch. They do thank me frequently for the good meals, but I guess I am just tired of spending two hours of my day cooking a nice dinner, to have it eaten in 30 minutes. I get this honestly. My mom hated cooking too. My dad was away a lot, I had no siblings, so Mom and I could eat out really often at one of the many diners nearby for cheap. Now, it is just too expensive to do that.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. Maybe that's all I needed to do. We were discussing heaven the other day. Heaven will not be "heaven" for me if I have to do any cooking there.

 

[Radiant1]

Heaven will not be "heaven" for me if I have to do any cooking there. ��

Haha! Me either! I can cook, but I got burned out on doing it some years ago. Thankfully, my daughter and my man enjoy doing it. Leave your family to their own devices every once in a while; trust me, they won't starve. Oh, and any time you get some change put it in a jar to save for a meal out every once in a while.

 

[PJay]

http://kathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/pressure-cooker-explosion1.jpg




Just like pressure cookers...we must release steam.

 

[acommondisaster]

My mom stayed home and did the cooking up until I was about 15, and then it became my job. Friday night was fish fry - either take out or going out, but the rest of the time, we always ate home cooked. We all knew we got to pick the dinner once a year - on our birthday. Mom was a good cook, and though there were things she made that I hated (lima beans, stew tomatoes, liver), we all knew the deal. Eat it or go hungry (fix something else later). I didn't grow up into a serial killer and I dont have PTSD or anything, so I don't think it harmed me.

 

[mamatutu]

My mom stayed home and did the cooking up until I was about 15, and then it became my job. Friday night was fish fry - either take out or going out, but the rest of the time, we always ate home cooked. We all knew we got to pick the dinner once a year - on our birthday. Mom was a good cook, and though there were things she made that I hated (lima beans, stew tomatoes, liver), we all knew the deal. Eat it or go hungry (fix something else later). I didn't grow up into a serial killer and I dont have PTSD or anything, so I don't think it harmed me.

Yes, I think this thread is very interesting. I worked and cooked every night. I always over compensated and did it all. I was very pleasantly surprised when my children were grown and flew the coop that they actually could cook and fend for themselves. I never made them cook, just help when they wanted to. I guess they were paying attention. My daughter is actually a better cook than I am, and is always trying new gourmet things. I guess it is a lesson that our children are always watching us parents. Also, getting them to eat veggies was a struggle, but now they eat them all. Oven roasting them seems to be the new fad. I never did that. They even eat brussel sprouts and asparagus now. Kids are an amazing mirror of ourselves. Pure joy.

 

[Tami2red]

My mom stayed home and did the cooking up until I was about 15, and then it became my job. Friday night was fish fry - either take out or going out, but the rest of the time, we always ate home cooked. We all knew we got to pick the dinner once a year - on our birthday. Mom was a good cook, and though there were things she made that I hated (lima beans, stew tomatoes, liver), we all knew the deal. Eat it or go hungry (fix something else later). I didn't grow up into a serial killer and I dont have PTSD or anything, so I don't think it harmed me.

Eww... I wasn't allowed to make something later. On (gag)liver(gag) nights I ate the veggies, gravy, potatoes. Then I had to sit at the table with my plate in front of me. I could either eat it and get to watch TV or just sit there doing homework (with said offending stuff in front of me) until bedtime. Then I went to bed. I sat there. It was worth it. :

 

[Vince]

Eat what is given...or starve.

Zactly. If you didn't eat what mom put on the table, you went hungry. Liver and onions.

 

[Tami2red]

Zactly. If you didn't eat what mom put on the table, you went hungry. Liver and onions.

Never once ate the (gag)liver. Other than a bite to show I tried. (She stopped making me after a rather 'unpleasant' incident. Still. I ate what I could then sat at the table until bed. It was always gone when I got up for school.