I want Jesus to love me....

GreenHornet

New Member
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH
 

neveragainangel

New Member
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH


On christmas eve, go to your nearest church and pray. You will find your answers then
 
K

Kain99

Guest
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH


Walk away from it. It's that simple.
 

libby

New Member
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

You mention Confession, so I'm guessing you are Catholic. Trust the Lord and receive the Sacrament, and go to Mass. I try to go to Confession every month to month-and-a-half, and you will find that those sins you have confessed become easier to overcome by His Grace (but, it does take confessing them more than once). If you want Jesus, He is there. Unlike a person who might be hesitant to forgive under the same circumstances, the Lord is infinite in His desire to have you back. Remember the prodigal son, remember the parable of the lost sheep. You are the son and the sheep and He is overjoyed at your desire to return to Him.

You will sin again, yes, but you needn't "stray" again. Love is an act of the will, and you must will yourself to keep trying.
 
T

toppick08

Guest
You mention Confession, so I'm guessing you are Catholic. Trust the Lord and receive the Sacrament, and go to Mass. I try to go to Confession every month to month-and-a-half, and you will find that those sins you have confessed become easier to overcome by His Grace (but, it does take confessing them more than once). If you want Jesus, He is there. Unlike a person who might be hesitant to forgive under the same circumstances, the Lord is infinite in His desire to have you back. Remember the prodigal son, remember the parable of the lost sheep. You are the son and the sheep and He is overjoyed at your desire to return to Him.

You will sin again, yes, but you needn't "stray" again. Love is an act of the will, and you must will yourself to keep trying.

:yeahthat: AMEN from a Methodist........:howdy:
 

godsbutterfly

Free to Fly
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

By no means am I telling you to abandon your Catholic faith but you sound as though you would like some peace now so when you have a private moment check out your PM.
 

ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
Save a trip. Confess your sins directly to God,
Ask forgiveness from Him because ONLY He can forgive them,
Stay away from people & places that cause you to stray,
Read your Bible daily; as much as you can take in.
Find a good Christian friend who you can "grow & learn" with.
Ask God to keep you from straying and resist the devil always.
Remember, for every sin, there is a way out but you have to want out.
PM me anytime you have a question.:howdy:
 

Bird Dog

Bird Dog
PREMO Member
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

You do not have to worry about Jesus loving you, He does. What you have to worry about, is you loving Jesus. You need to be an example of his love.
It is never to late to ask forgiveness or change what is causing you grief.

Good Luck and Merry Christmas
 

libby

New Member
Save a trip. Confess your sins directly to God,
Ask forgiveness from Him because ONLY He can forgive them,
Stay away from people & places that cause you to stray,
Read your Bible daily; as much as you can take in.
Find a good Christian friend who you can "grow & learn" with.
Ask God to keep you from straying and resist the devil always.
Remember, for every sin, there is a way out but you have to want out.
PM me anytime you have a question.:howdy:

IS,
To the first thing that came out of your keyboard, the OP seems to indicate he is Catholic, why don't you just support him in that? If you want to start a thread to debate the subject of sacraments, by all means, have at it.
As to the rest of your post...
:yay:
 

2ndAmendment

Just a forgiven sinner
PREMO Member
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

This is what Jesus said. Read this.
Luke 15
The Lost Sheep
1Now all the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him.

2Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them."

3So He told them this parable, saying,

4"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?

5"When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

6"And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'

7"I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
The Lost Coin
8"Or what woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?

9"When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost!'

10"In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
The Prodigal Son
11And He said, "A man had two sons.

12"The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me ' So he divided his wealth between them.

13"And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

14"Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.

15"So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.

17"But when he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger!

18'I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight;

19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men."'

20"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

21"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

22"But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet;

23and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate;

24for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.

25"Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing.

26"And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be.

27"And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.'

28"But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.

29"But he answered and said to his father, 'Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends;

30but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.'

31"And he said to him, 'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours.

32'But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'"
Take comfort. The angels in heaven rejoice at your return.
 

wxtornado

The Other White Meat
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time, but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

Have you ever honestly asked yourself why you're straying?
 

ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
IS,
To the first thing that came out of your keyboard, the OP seems to indicate he is Catholic, why don't you just support him in that? If you want to start a thread to debate the subject of sacraments, by all means, have at it.
As to the rest of your post...
:yay:
I have no intention of "starting a thread to debate the sacraments" because it's been done before. Maybe that's why he strayed. It happened to me and, because I was lied to, I really wasn't saved. A priest can't forgive sins, so why send him back thinking he's forgiven when he really isn't. He needs a direct encounter with God, not man. That's why I said it. Let's see how GH answers Wxtornado's question, that might give some insight to what happened before.
 

PsyOps

Pixelated
I've strayed from Jesus over the years and have even doubted his existence at times. Deep in my heart I love him and feel as though I've abandoned my relationship with him. I know I can ask forgiveness an infinite amount of time,
but how can I overcome the guilt associated with my departure from faith
? I know I will only stray again no matter how sincere I am in my prayers.

This is a struggle I've dealt with my entire life. I've taken notice of the many spiritual folks on the forum here and am looking for guidance..... I don't want to die forsaken but fear that I will.

I think I really need to go to confession as it's been 8 years. I just feel so guilty about abandoning God so many times. Yes this is a serious query... Thanks all for reading.

GH

Personally I think you are doing fine. All the things you are feeling are absolutely normal. Think about Peter when he denied Jesus. I would be more worried if you didn’t feel guilty.
 

Hessian

Well-Known Member
Ok...modern Parable.

I can't recall the total times my beloved Kate runs away from the yard...at night she'll spot a possum,...or hear a distant dog bark...and if I am not at her side-she bolts.

I might spend time trying to chase her.
I'll walk down the road with flashlight calling for her.
I'll listen at the wood's edge for the jangle of her dog tags.
And I am angry. Grit my teeth angry... Take a stick to her angry.


And I walk back to the house...work inside for a while and then check the side door. Sure enough: there she is: cold,...looking repentant,-acting very guilty.
My anger subsides, I don't drag her outside with a stick in hand...I brush her out, look in her eyes, tell her she was a bad girl.-...but all she wants to do is jump up in my lap.
I know she will likely run again, I know I'll get angry again....and I know I will forgive her.


I...am the real dog.-and I pray that God will be patient with my wanderings.
 

Dondi

Dondi
Years ago, I had strayed from my Christian background once I got into my late teens. Though I had accepted Christ as my Savior, I had no real relationship with the Lord and drifted. Being impressionable and with no real bearing, wrong choices and bad influences directed me until my mid-twenties. I had ups and downs, good times and bad, including much partying and other "sorts". No real satifaction in my life though. I was stagnant in my wantonness and felt that drudging emptiness and the slow dragging down.

So I inevitably came to a point where my thoughts turned back to God, but like you, I felt so completely distanced from God that I wasn't even sure that He even existed, and even if He did, what would He have of me? And besides, I figured that God was too busy in the affairs of the world to bother with just one soul such as mine. Then of course, there was the guilt of knowing I've done things grievious to His Spirit, and so how could I approach Him anyway?

Yet...yet, I really didn't have anywhere else to go. I tried exploring other beliefs and philosophies, but nothing I tried was of any permanent solution. So with no real expectations I took the chance that God would listen to me. I hadn't seriously prayed for years, but I decided to just honestly pour myself out to God, warts and all, come what may. I spent half a night just seeking God and asking forgiveness, not out of fear of hell, really, but because I just was tired of myself. Tired of what I was becoming.

There was a point when God broke through. My heart flooded with a sense of love and acceptance that I never knew or could have thought possible. I broke down in half tears of sorrow and then half tears of joy as God just spoke to my heart that He heard my prayers and the outpouring of my heart. I wanted to remain guilty (as I undoubtedly was), but God didn't want me to feel guilty anymore. I can't explain it other than that. i just felt so clean and refreshed, and that overencompassing love that beggars description gave me such hope.

I won't tell you that my life was perfect, but I did realize just how much God loved me at the moment. Gradually, my life did change. Why? Because I allowed Him to change it. It's not so hocus pocus instantanous change, though I gave up many things right off the bat in exchange of something better. I still had issues, but as I learned fronm God, He taught me how to deal with them by trusting in Him that something better around the corner than my indulgent vices could offer. We all need constant forgiveness, for we are all still dealing with sins of one gradient or another. But God is interested in progress. He is interested in what we do when we do fall. Will we stay in the muck, or will we follow His way? We as Christians are not immune to sin, but what we do have is the prompting and power of the Holy Spirit to do the alternative that our own will wants. And we will in time, as we experience His goodness in our lives, discover that Father knows best.

GreenHornet, you are at a place of this discovery. I just want to encourage you to keep seeking God with your heart. Talk to Him, don't be afraid to tell Him straight up. Be honest on what you feel. Be real, even if you don't know what to say, speak to Him as you would speak to a friend. Even if you are in the habit of using bad language, the important thing is that you be absolutely open to God. Tell him about your guilt, tell Him about your life. Tell Him what you think. Just tell Him everything on your mind. Be transparent. He knows anyway.
 
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