Otter
Nothing to see here
Number One Idiot of 2003
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in
very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly
after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon
that activated when the raft was inflated They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor,
told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill
out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't
read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe
you are over 21. “The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because he didn't believe him At that point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested
the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't
need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2003
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would
be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on
videotape. Oh, that smarts.
Give him his sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M.,
flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in
very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly
after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon
that activated when the raft was inflated They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor,
told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill
out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't
read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe
you are over 21. “The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because he didn't believe him At that point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested
the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't
need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2003
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would
be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on
videotape. Oh, that smarts.
Give him his sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M.,
flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away
Be afraid...be very afraid. 