If Dr. Seuss were a woman....

jazz lady

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
I'm glad I'm a woman - yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live on Budweiser, beer, nuts and Spam.

I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;
And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.

I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.

I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman, you see - I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman; so glad I could sing-
and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.

Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back.
And when I bend over, you can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas - and I'm proud, don't you see?
I'm blessed to have boobs and I squat when I pee.

I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks -
I'll never join the "Hair Club" or think with my dick.

I'm a woman, by chance and thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman; not a man, yes I am!
 
Sharon

Sharon

* * * * * * * * *
Staff member
PREMO Member
Originally posted by mainman
I fail to see the humor in any of that dribble.... :neener:
Click to expand...
Maybe the hair from your ears is blocking the vision in your eyes. :jet:
 
Jameo

Jameo

What?!
I sent the this to someone I work with and I get this back :rolleyes:
:lmao:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is a little reply for all the woman out there:



I’m glad I’m a man yes I am, yes I am

I don’t live on Bon Bons, Shirley Temples that’s for fags

I don’t ##### to my friends about the people I don’t like

I don’t drive like a two year old riding a bike

I’m won’t act nice to your face at parties, then talk behind your back

I won’t want to leave early, because my ass is fat

I WILL grab your boobies, and I WILL pinch your butt

If I don’t you’ll say I don’t love you, because you’re all friggin nuts!

So what if I go around adjusting my crotch

You’ll feel a lot better if you admit you like to watch

We do belch in public, and scratch our behind

You go ahead and keep the mystery, there’s stuff we don’t wanna find

I’m glad I’m a man, so glad I could sing-

I’m glad I’m not covered, in films of powder and paint-like things

I live for golf, and other sports too

At least I don’t have a hundred pairs of shoes

I'm a man, by chance and thankful I am!

I'm so glad I'm a man; not a woman, yes I am!
 
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