pingrr
Well-Known Member
In a move initially thought to distract the UN from its nuclear inspections, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared war against HD DVD. "We believe that Blu-Ray technology is a blessing given by God", said Ahmadinejad. He continued, "Anybody who recognizes HD DVD will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation's fury. Oh yeah, and the Zionists too." Middle East intelligence has discovered that Ahmadinejad spent much of the country's gross domestic product obtaining expensive Sony Blu-Ray players which had to be smuggled in by North Korean sympathizers due to UN sanctions in recent weeks. The pricey acquisition of the players along with several copies of the movie Terminator may have set Iran's nuclear ambitions back by up to two years some analysts predict.
Internal documents circulated amongst Iranian leaders and Ayatollah Khamenei reveal that in addition to obtaining weapons-grade plutonium, a program to build radical Islamic insurgent robots which will serve the purpose of hunting down feisty Zionist women is needed. Iranian scientists believe if they can get a more detailed look at the construction of the terminator robot, they can develop a prototype in as little as 18 months.
The program is in danger of collapsing, however, because Ahmadinejad didn't realize he needed HDCP certified inputs on his television sets in order to view the Blu-Ray formatted movies. He became enraged and blamed Israel for the HDCP conspiracy, which he says, is as disingenuous as the holocaust and all the more reason Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth.
Terminator wasn't the only reason stated for supporting Blu-Ray. Ahmadinejad also denounced the HD DVD format movie, Passenger 57, as an anti-hijacking propaganda film designed to embolden the Zionists. Also on HD DVD format is the movie Waterworld, which Ahmadinejad is still pissed off that he paid money to see in 1995.
The Bush administration in conjunction with British leaders intend to refer the case to the UN Security Council as soon as the NSA and Scotland Yard can obtain a functional Blu-Ray player for inspection. Many on Capitol Hill object to spending such a large sum on a Blu-Ray player rather than outfitting US soldiers with protective body gear.
It is expected that Russia and China will back the Blu-Ray format without hesitation. Tony Blair commented that the "Surrender Monkeys" will almost certainly follow suit leading to yet another deadlock at the council. President Bush is planning a primetime speech next week to encourage the American people to support HD DVD now so that our children will not have to fight this nasty battle later.
Mark Lofaso
Internal documents circulated amongst Iranian leaders and Ayatollah Khamenei reveal that in addition to obtaining weapons-grade plutonium, a program to build radical Islamic insurgent robots which will serve the purpose of hunting down feisty Zionist women is needed. Iranian scientists believe if they can get a more detailed look at the construction of the terminator robot, they can develop a prototype in as little as 18 months.
The program is in danger of collapsing, however, because Ahmadinejad didn't realize he needed HDCP certified inputs on his television sets in order to view the Blu-Ray formatted movies. He became enraged and blamed Israel for the HDCP conspiracy, which he says, is as disingenuous as the holocaust and all the more reason Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth.
Terminator wasn't the only reason stated for supporting Blu-Ray. Ahmadinejad also denounced the HD DVD format movie, Passenger 57, as an anti-hijacking propaganda film designed to embolden the Zionists. Also on HD DVD format is the movie Waterworld, which Ahmadinejad is still pissed off that he paid money to see in 1995.
The Bush administration in conjunction with British leaders intend to refer the case to the UN Security Council as soon as the NSA and Scotland Yard can obtain a functional Blu-Ray player for inspection. Many on Capitol Hill object to spending such a large sum on a Blu-Ray player rather than outfitting US soldiers with protective body gear.
It is expected that Russia and China will back the Blu-Ray format without hesitation. Tony Blair commented that the "Surrender Monkeys" will almost certainly follow suit leading to yet another deadlock at the council. President Bush is planning a primetime speech next week to encourage the American people to support HD DVD now so that our children will not have to fight this nasty battle later.
Mark Lofaso
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