1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive
new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between your boss and the Pope....the Pope only expects
you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and then the clap.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink
spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large
trash can.
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.
11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
12. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies
could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said," Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the
wrong way.
new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between your boss and the Pope....the Pope only expects
you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and then the clap.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink
spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large
trash can.
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.
11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
12. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies
could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said," Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the
wrong way.