Kids Born in 1991 Are Teenagers Now - Some Tips For Them

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
Children born in 1991 will officially become teenagers this year, in 2004! Yes, that’s right! They’ve grown up in a different world entirely. Here are some tips for the up and coming teenagers of the ‘00s.

1. It is not necessary to learn anyone’s phone number by heart. That’s what the Caller ID and Memory functions do.

2. You must buy a new phone in the unlikely event that you call someone and hear a series of short buzzing sounds. Your phone is broken.

3. When you call someone and their phone just rings and rings, you have an emergency on your hands. You must find a way to contact them immediately to tell them that something is wrong, as you were unable to leave a message.

4. Flying is always the preferable method of traveling any distance over 2 hours. Your parents should not bore you with stories of 25-hour car trips with 6 kids in the car.

5. When forced to take these horrid, long car trips, you must bring a long a Game Boy and personal CD or MP3 player. The car must also be equipped with a DVD player and your parents should buy you at least one DVD for every hour you’re expected to travel. You must not be subjected to a “family conversation”, or God forbid, your parents’ choice of music. It is not fun to play “the license plate game” as it is not digital and therefore cannot be scored properly. “I packed my trunk with…” is way too hard and is a waste of time.

6. It is absolutely necessary that your parents buy you a cell phone before your 12th birthday. It is impossible to go through one day without being able to call people when you want to and receive calls. It is absurd that your parents do not see the wisdom in this. When they say no, remind them of the last kid who was abducted. You’ll increase your chances by 95%.

7. Living without cable is like living without electricity. It’s bad enough you don’t have TiVo. Your parents are lying when they tell you that they only had 3 networks and PBS when they were kids. The terms UHF and antennae are completely made up. They might also mention something about a “dial” on a TV. Please, do not believe this.

8. In order not to be required to watch stupid or boring TV shows and movies, you must have your own TV and DVD player in your bedroom. Do not believe your parents when they tell you they did not even have a VCR in the house. Weren’t VCRs created in the 50s? And it is an obvious lie that they only had one TV in the house and that their father chose the shows to watch when he got home from work. That story about being happy to have a 10-inch black and white in their bedroom is also ludicrous.

9. It is absolutely a right to have access to cartoons and other special programming 24/7. It’s not your fault that your parents had to wait to Saturday to watch them for 4 hours until American Bandstand came on to signal them that their TV watching time was over for the WHOLE WEEK. (If that is even true).

10. Allowance… You should receive a generous allowance every week. You should not be required to work for it. You should only spend it on actual purchases for yourself. This means that you should get “extra allowance” at Christmas to buy gifts for your family and friends. You also should not spend your allowance on outings, like going to the movies. Your parents should pay for that separately, whenever you need to go somewhere with your friends.

11. Your friends come before family. So, let’s say your Great Aunt dies, your parents should not make you miss your plans with your new friend for a stupid funeral. If they do, you should be clear with them that they are now hated.

12. Cooking. You don’t do it and most of the time your parents don’t either. There are professionals who create take out meals for you. You must be very clear what take out you like though. Your parents cannot read your mind and may insist on buying you food that you do not like. If they do this, you must refuse to eat it. They’ll get you something else.

13. In the horrible event that you have to cook, insist that your parents purchase pre-packaged foods that can be cooked in the microwave. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is too hard to make. You need the individual serving microwave kind. Condensed soup and tuna fish also fall into the “hard to make” category. Insist on one-step meals.

14. You must insist that you have your own PC. If you don’t, your parents may try to use it when you need to chat with your friends. They may use excuses like, “I need to pay the bills online”. Do not fall for such nonsense.

15. If you really need to talk to your Mom or Dad while they are at work, do not worry that they might be so-called “working”. Call them at the office at least 6 times in a row. If you are told they are “away from their desk” or “in a meeting”, call their cell phones until they answer. If that doesn’t work start again with the work number. This should be used in any sort of emergency. For example, if your friend calls and asks you to go to the mall with her on Saturday, you need to give her a reply now.

16. It is no longer necessary to steal your father’s Playboy to peruse porn. Instead, you should steal your father’s password to his favorite sites. (The pay ones are better than the free ones). If he doesn’t have this, free sites will do the trick. Just remember to clear the history and cross your fingers that your parents haven’t put these god-awful “parental controls” on your PC. If they have, use your Dad’s computer. (Not your Mom’s).

17. If your parents are divorced, which is a good probability, make sure to use that to your advantage. This works in several aspects of life.

a. School- “Last night was my visitation with Dad who I see only every two weeks. I left my homework at his house” (Make sure to look sad)

b. Money- “Dad, Mom never gives me any of that child support money you send so faithfully. Can I have 20 dollars?”

c. Money- “Mom, I am so sad about this divorce, can you buy me a new video game to make me feel better?”

d. Dating- “Mom, you’re dating, why can’t I?”

e. Dating- “Dad, my boyfriend is closer to my age than your new girlfriend is to yours…”
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
Originally posted by jazz lady
Children born in 1991 will officially become teenagers this year, in 2004!

Noooo! :lol:

I sometimes joke that there shouldn't have been anyone born between 1975 and 1995, so I can feel like I'm 18 again.
 

Sharon

* * * * * * * * *
Staff member
PREMO Member
#12 & #13 (Just walked thru the kitchen)

I can't believe these...(my son's GF brought them over)

I found some strange cookies sitting on a tray on the table. Hubby says, "What are these?"

I look and say, "I dunno, looks like cookies."

Next to them is a box called Instant Bake "No heat-no oven" Chocolate chip cookies. Then I read the directions...add water, let rise, and wait 10 minutes.

Boy says they are :barf:
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
My kids won't be teenagers until 2015, so I'll just have to look forward to this stuff.
 
J

justhangn

Guest
Originally posted by Tonio
My kids won't be teenagers until 2015, so I'll just have to look forward to this stuff.


:duh: The world ends in 2012, you have nothing to worry about.
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
Originally posted by justhangn
:duh: The world ends in 2012, you have nothing to worry about.

Don't make me take the NostraDumbAss and Mayan Codex away from you! :lol:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
The only ones who laughed at those "tips" are the ones who don't have kids over the age of 10. I thought our kids were spoiled monsters until I got a load of the neighbor kids. :duh:

#15 is my pet peeve. They start calling the minute they get home from school. Sometimes, if they've forgotten something, they don't even wait that long. They say stupid things like, "Can you take me to the mall to get a (fill in the blank)?" When I say, "No, tard, I'm at work" they go, "Well, what's the point of owning your own business if you can't leave when you want to?" Then they can't understand why I yell at them and hang up on them. :duh:
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
Originally posted by vraiblonde
The only ones who laughed at those "tips" are the ones who don't have kids over the age of 10.

Well, we can laugh now because in 10 years we won't feel like laughing. :lol: But then, those of you with teenagers now, what will you be doing in 10 years? Will you be empty-nesters traveling cross-country? Will you be doting grandparents?
 

carolinagirl

What's it 2 U
99% of these already apply to my 11 yr old, born in 1992. Oh the joys!!! :wink:

She has been asking for a cell phone for over a year and of course is quick to point out when one of her friends gets a "real phone". I say you can't even keep up with your shoestrings, much less a phone. I was born at night, sweetie, but not last night!! :rolleyes:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Our middle daughter will actually bring a book to a family get-together. We're like, "No, you can sit and make pleasant conversation." :duh:

My son is back home and I'm amazed at the change in him. NOW I feel like I have an adult son. Before he left for Korea, he was still a kid in my eyes. Now he's a young man and a complete pleasure to have around. That probably has nothing to do with the topic but I just wanted to share. Makes all that hard work of raising him SO worth it.
 

Otter

Nothing to see here
Originally posted by vraiblonde
NOW I feel like I have an adult son. Before he left for Korea, he was still a kid in my eyes. Now he's a young man and a complete pleasure to have around. That probably has nothing to do with the topic but I just wanted to share. Makes all that hard work of raising him SO worth it.

:yay:
 
K

Kain99

Guest
Originally posted by Tonio
Don't make me take the NostraDumbAss and Mayan Codex away from you! :lol:
I thought he said he couldn't see beyond 3437:confused:
 
J

justhangn

Guest
Originally posted by Tonio
Don't make me take the NostraDumbAss and Mayan Codex away from you! :lol:


:roflmao: THAT is the funniest thing on this board today. :yay:
 
Z

zuchick

Guest
Tips for Teenies Boppers..

The best advice I can give anyone with teenagers it to love them enough to be their Parents. Realize they will begin to pull away with all they have.. Give'em a bit of slack, knowing their friends and snoop.. Snooping it the God Giving Right of every loving parent.. When my youngest daughter was about 14, she told me, "You are wrecking my Social Life".. I told her that a 14 yearold shouldn't have a Social Life. She would also say, "stay out of my personal life and quit snooping.. Trust me". I would simply tell her "Trust but Verify". The generation I grew up is always said, "Don't trust anyone over 30." when we turn 30 we started saying, "Don't trust anyone under 30". Wise words indeed.

But when teens start saying, "but you don't trust me". Simply tell them that Trust must be earned and to earn it requires, "Trust but Verify".
 
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