House Bill 736 (Cake Tax)
File Code: Food Legistation-Raw material tax and finished goods tax
Sponsored by: Wants to make a name for myself and all Freshmen Democrats
Bill Indexed Under the Following Subjects: Fees- Development and Taxes
Submitted: 2/16/05
This bill is brought to the house for approval this day and should be considered for the following reasons:
1) Generate revenue for the State of Maryland
2) Helps new Democratic Freshman class get names in the newspaper
3) Dems. can sponsor insignificant and arrogant bills that no one can challenge
4) The Sun will publish Ehrlich's reaction, no matter what it is, in a negative manner
5) Martin O'Malley needs negative attention diverted from yet another idiotic/arrogant/conceited comment
6) Freshman Dems. have too much time on our hands
The following should be taxed, raw materials and finished goods.
Cake Ingredients:
Flour: Domestic product should be taxed, however, product imported from France should not as we "owe them" for helping us realize our worldwide arrogance and for "sins of the past."
Baking powder: to the mazimum for this item as this "leavening agent" releases carbon dioxide into the environment causing irreparable damage to the ozone layer and contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
Salt: Should be taxed for " unknown future damage" as chemical introduced to "Iodize" sea salt originated in the middle of the 1900's and long term effects are not yet determined.
Butter or Margarine: Should be taxed as individuals do not or will not eat our previously recommended portions. See previous bill titled: MD Residents Too Stupid To Not Eat Entire Stick of Butter or Tub of Margarine In One Sitting.
Sugar: Should be taxed as Domino Plant in Baltimore is not totally out of business. This tax on sugar could potentially put this "air pollution" contributor out of business for good.
Vanilla: Should be taxed as this product contains alcohol and could be abused by MD residents. Again, we should tax this now so we can say "we told you so," when excessive liver damage claims are brought against the State in the future.
Eggs: Tax all eggs from out of state producers and double tax "in-state" producers to discourage chicken excrement from "mother chickens."
Milk: See eggs above but substitute cow excrement for chicken excrement and "mother cows" for "mother chickens."
Finished Goods:
Should be taxed to prevent obesity and potential law suits from the enemies, (change enemies to residents), of the State of Maryland.
Law should discourage the "overeating" of this potentially deadly product and discourage usage by the youth of Maryland. If usage of this product is not discouraged or eliminated, at least we brought the potential damaging effects of this product to the Maryland Resident.
Bill is introduced and approved of by the Democratic Party and meets the requirements of the standards put forth by Senator Teddy Kennedy titled, "If I can get away with murder, you can too. A guide for up-and-comming Democrat Pols."
File Code: Food Legistation-Raw material tax and finished goods tax
Sponsored by: Wants to make a name for myself and all Freshmen Democrats
Bill Indexed Under the Following Subjects: Fees- Development and Taxes
Submitted: 2/16/05
This bill is brought to the house for approval this day and should be considered for the following reasons:
1) Generate revenue for the State of Maryland
2) Helps new Democratic Freshman class get names in the newspaper
3) Dems. can sponsor insignificant and arrogant bills that no one can challenge
4) The Sun will publish Ehrlich's reaction, no matter what it is, in a negative manner
5) Martin O'Malley needs negative attention diverted from yet another idiotic/arrogant/conceited comment
6) Freshman Dems. have too much time on our hands
The following should be taxed, raw materials and finished goods.
Cake Ingredients:
Flour: Domestic product should be taxed, however, product imported from France should not as we "owe them" for helping us realize our worldwide arrogance and for "sins of the past."
Baking powder: to the mazimum for this item as this "leavening agent" releases carbon dioxide into the environment causing irreparable damage to the ozone layer and contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
Salt: Should be taxed for " unknown future damage" as chemical introduced to "Iodize" sea salt originated in the middle of the 1900's and long term effects are not yet determined.
Butter or Margarine: Should be taxed as individuals do not or will not eat our previously recommended portions. See previous bill titled: MD Residents Too Stupid To Not Eat Entire Stick of Butter or Tub of Margarine In One Sitting.
Sugar: Should be taxed as Domino Plant in Baltimore is not totally out of business. This tax on sugar could potentially put this "air pollution" contributor out of business for good.
Vanilla: Should be taxed as this product contains alcohol and could be abused by MD residents. Again, we should tax this now so we can say "we told you so," when excessive liver damage claims are brought against the State in the future.
Eggs: Tax all eggs from out of state producers and double tax "in-state" producers to discourage chicken excrement from "mother chickens."
Milk: See eggs above but substitute cow excrement for chicken excrement and "mother cows" for "mother chickens."
Finished Goods:
Should be taxed to prevent obesity and potential law suits from the enemies, (change enemies to residents), of the State of Maryland.
Law should discourage the "overeating" of this potentially deadly product and discourage usage by the youth of Maryland. If usage of this product is not discouraged or eliminated, at least we brought the potential damaging effects of this product to the Maryland Resident.
Bill is introduced and approved of by the Democratic Party and meets the requirements of the standards put forth by Senator Teddy Kennedy titled, "If I can get away with murder, you can too. A guide for up-and-comming Democrat Pols."