B
baswm
Guest
(21 March - 20 April)
YOU will never have a successful relationship. Remember, with emails: send and you shall receive. Solidarity is the key to true loneliness.
(21 April - 21 May)
YOU may meet an old friend. Don’t talk to them, they haven't changed. If you're ever too far away from a calculator, buy a calculator watch. It will prove an invaluable tool if you ever have to calculate numbers. Wearing a hat will only bring true happiness.
(22 May - 21 June)
THE week will bring you fame, fortune and unrivalled liver-spots. Every example you can think of of 'where it all went wrong' are just excuses. Look deep inside yourself for the real answers.
(22 June - 23 July)
YOUR request to beta-test God's "New Plan" has been rejected. Please try again.
(24 July - 23 Aug)
TODAY is likely to be another miserable day.
(24 Aug - 23 Sep)
WE can all be steamrollers if we put our minds to it. You're fab.
(24 Sep - 23 Oct)
YOU are not "the chosen one" of any type of faith. Try to avoid swearing today and cleanse your soul...you filthy blaspheming ####!.
(24 Oct - 22 Nov)
WEEK old musty smells may come back to haunt you. Cycle hard, pedal fast, you'll make it up that hill of a life that you have!.
(23 Nov - 21 Dec)
YOU might be challenged by some awkward appearances by old flames today. IBM will never stop making fast computers. You're thinking of MFI.
(22 Dec - 20 Jan)
TEMPERATE times lie ahead. Even if you are from Turkey, you should never offer to show someone your Turkish Delight. Avoid the bank today.
(21 Jan - 19 Feb)
A tall dark stranger will probably look down on you. You may be tempted by your friends. Give in, it's easier. You will be provoked by a spotty teenager. Don't rise to him.
(20 Feb - 20 March)
THE day is as long as the night. The morning will be full of fun and sunshine. Charge into today like you never have before.
YOU will never have a successful relationship. Remember, with emails: send and you shall receive. Solidarity is the key to true loneliness.
(21 April - 21 May)
YOU may meet an old friend. Don’t talk to them, they haven't changed. If you're ever too far away from a calculator, buy a calculator watch. It will prove an invaluable tool if you ever have to calculate numbers. Wearing a hat will only bring true happiness.
(22 May - 21 June)
THE week will bring you fame, fortune and unrivalled liver-spots. Every example you can think of of 'where it all went wrong' are just excuses. Look deep inside yourself for the real answers.
(22 June - 23 July)
YOUR request to beta-test God's "New Plan" has been rejected. Please try again.
(24 July - 23 Aug)
TODAY is likely to be another miserable day.
(24 Aug - 23 Sep)
WE can all be steamrollers if we put our minds to it. You're fab.
(24 Sep - 23 Oct)
YOU are not "the chosen one" of any type of faith. Try to avoid swearing today and cleanse your soul...you filthy blaspheming ####!.
(24 Oct - 22 Nov)
WEEK old musty smells may come back to haunt you. Cycle hard, pedal fast, you'll make it up that hill of a life that you have!.
(23 Nov - 21 Dec)
YOU might be challenged by some awkward appearances by old flames today. IBM will never stop making fast computers. You're thinking of MFI.
(22 Dec - 20 Jan)
TEMPERATE times lie ahead. Even if you are from Turkey, you should never offer to show someone your Turkish Delight. Avoid the bank today.
(21 Jan - 19 Feb)
A tall dark stranger will probably look down on you. You may be tempted by your friends. Give in, it's easier. You will be provoked by a spotty teenager. Don't rise to him.
(20 Feb - 20 March)
THE day is as long as the night. The morning will be full of fun and sunshine. Charge into today like you never have before.
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