One odd apect of human nature is the perverse hilarity reflexively enjoying while watching another human step on a rake and get bashed in the face. Entire cable channels are composed of āhilarious sports fails,ā usually involving numberless clips of unfortunate skiers missing the ramp and soaring into dense thickets or planting their faces in the snow. Ouch.
Yesterday, I felt that same kind of uncontrollable laughter welling up as I watched the corporate media stepping on a rake that I am quite sure was carefully laid for them by the DOGE team.
Corporate media spent its Friday joyously doxxing more DOGE members, trying its best to cancel them before they can uncover more government misconduct. Early yesterday, Wired broke the biggest story, hysterically headlined ā
DOGE Teen Owns āTesla.Sexy LLCā and Worked at Startup That Has Hired Convicted Hackers.ā
The horror.
Unironically, Wired accused Edward Coristine, 19, of creating his LLC, Tesla.Sexy, three years ago, when he was sixteen. Iāll say it again ā Edward created his own successful tech LLC when he was sixteen years old. In its bloodthirsty excitement to cancel a top DOGE team member, Wired completely missed the gist.
For example, Wiredās article also smeared Edward with a prior job heād held at IT security firm Path Networks, āknown for hiring reformed blackhat hackers.ā
In other words, Wired accidentally explained Edward is a real-life computer genius. But wait, thereās more. Edwardās next job was working for Elon Musk at the Neuralink company. And now Edward works in a top agency of the federal government.
All by the time he was 19 years old.
Michael Dell, you may have heard of him, also started a tech company when he was 19. So weāre talking about a potential Michael Dell-level of talent.
Wired, fueled no doubt by Deep State dirty tricks, did everything it could think of to smear young Edward, using the poor kidās
own resume. For example, he briefly owned a website selling an AI tool for a gaming website (Discord) ā with Russian and Chinese versions.
It proves he must be a Russian-triple-agent-Chinese spy!!!! Just like Trump!!!!
It was a Wired self-own. Or at minimum, the Wired article is a Rorschach test. If you are a woke lunatic, and you squint at the blobby dots hard enough, you see a comic-book supervillain. Sort of.
But everybody else sees a clear picture of DOGE hiring our countryās
best and brightest.
Edward is the Ć©liteās worst nightmare. His highest educational attainment was
high school. No Ivy League. Not even
college. But, enjoy this, an indignant Wired resentfully reported Edwards title at DOGE is simply, āExpert.ā
Thatās it, thatās his whole title: āExpert.ā
Hahahaha! Edwardās title is an inside joke, an obvious mockery of progressivesā most treasured possession:
expert status. DOGE is killing the wokescolds with humor. Everyone gets it now:
progressive expertise is the cheapest kind of expertise, a knock-off, a Canal Street counterfeit; itās expertise the easy way, not requiring actually accomplishing
anything except being good at butt kissing.
Hence, for five years, they rubbed our faces in bulbous buffoons like Peter Hotez and dimlights like Leana Wen. The truth is, not everybody who graduated medical school in Haiti and is willing to lie on TV is an expert. Almost none of them are, actually. But I digress.
But the worst, most disqualifying misstep Wired discovered was that Edward once used a particularly colorful online gamer nickname. By this time, most everyone reading this has probably already heard it.
Edward might have big ā¦ basketballs, but his nickname was big news, especially among a certain far-left media category, represented best by a
bevy of breathless, pearl-clutching, post-menopause-aged anchorwomen on CNN who were absolutely
furious. āWe looked into his background,ā Karen scolded ā
by ālooked intoā meaning she skimmed the same widely-circulating Wired story everybody else didā and, get this, she discovered āhe has used the unfortunate nickname Big Ballz online.ā
CLIP: In case you missed it, AWFLs Katie and Karen discuss big, um, you-know-what (1:21).
Hilariously,
DOGE made them say it. Over and over and over.
Edwardās braggadocious gaming handle was, indeed unfortunate. But maybe not for the reason CNN thought. Among most young people, the āunfortunateā moniker is no slur, it is an unhumble brag. The left completely missed the target by repeating the rough compliment a thousand times, elevating Edward into the colored inserts in Americaās testosterone-fueled history books of masculine achievement.
It's pretty amazing how all the parts of Trump's strategy are coming together: from DOGE's giant testicles to the Proxy War and resorts in Gaza, it is all connected. I'll show it to you.
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