Men & Women

[Dupontster]

DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

30-ish......................39

Adventurous...................Slept with everyone

Athletic.....................No breasts

Average looking...............Moooo

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Emotionally Secure............On medication

Feminist.....................Fat

Free Spirit...................Junkie

Friendship first..............Former Slut

New-Age.....................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned................No B.J.'s

Open-minded...................Desperate

Outgoing.....................Loud and embarrassing

Professional.................#####

Voluptuous...................Very fat

Large frame...................Hugely fat

Wants soul mate...............Stalker

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes.........................No

No..........................Yes

Maybe.......................No

We need......................I want

I am sorry...................You'll be sorry

We need to talk...............You're in trouble

Sure, go ahead................You better not

Do what you want..............You will pay for this later

I am not upset................Of course, I am upset, you moron!

You're attentive tonight.. ....Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry..................I am hungry

I am sleepy..................I am sleepy

I am tired...................I am tired

Nice dress...................Nice cleavage!

I love you..................Let's have sex now

I am bored...................Do you want to have sex?

May I have this dance?........I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime?......I'd like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie?..I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner?..I'd like to have sex with you.

I don't think your shoes go with that outfit.........I'm gay.

 

[sunflower]

 

[hvp05]

Large frame...................Hugely fat