Larry Gude
Strung Out
Well, it's time folks, to separate the wheat from the chaff, to look, unblinkingly into realities gaping maw and call it what it is.
We'll work bottom up;
I have no idea what preseason expectations were for SBK and they didn't play last year, so, sorry, you're horrible, who cares? Thanks for playing!
Next up is the guy who, like the Redskins, wins the Super Bowl every year...in April. A man who talks more and says less than even Uecker, who, or whom, if you like, if nothing else, at least played the damn sport, for a living no less and, therefore, at least can claim to knowing at least something, unlike Mr. Consistency himself, who just happened to also be second to last best at this very time last year, the one, the only, thank you Jesus for small favors, I give you...me. I feel free agency has really ####ed me up this year. It's not my fault if the spread is wrong, every week.
Next is Buddy Lee who was #8 of 12 at this point last year, so, being 12th of 14 now represents not even consistency so much as a fly, stuck in a spider web; the harder he tries, the harder he's gonna have to try.
Donbar is up next, up being relative when we're talking about being so far down that even bubbles aren't really sure which way is up. Actually, The Don's 'up' means something, having moved up nicely from last a year ago, this time. That said, the Don didn't even hold training camp this year, feeling that he'd pretty much mastered what he does.
Next is the Legend, the man, one of Heavens Angels, that being because he's got his boy on the back of the Harley instead of some greasy skeeze, spending quality time doing what guys do, scanning the horizon for...skeeze. Heartwarming to say the least. They must have also spent countless hours scanning the sports pages of America to make this kind of improvement in just one season, going from 9 of 12 to 10 of 14, a full, clear one position up from the cellar. Golf clap for the PETE.
Air is next, more or less a thinned 4 iron into Davey Jones locker from the lofty expectations of last seasons mid season rarified...air. Yes, preseason was a time of hope, a time for dreams based on his position this time last year. As they say, being in the middle of the fairway is all well and good but, being only halfway home, it don't mean #### until the balls in the cup. Words to live by.
The Big Man, the Mainman thunders up next. I'll make this short so he can go back to licking his wounds. Hey, Shorty's playing some ball this year, so, falling from last years midseason #1 ain't all bad, right? Just mostly bad.
BS Gal, BS Gal. What kind of a world do we live in where a girl, a noob girl no less, with absolutely no discernible football acumen, whatsoever, is stomping the goo out of 1/2 the field of distinguished ball scratchers and nacho eaters? This is just ####ed up. First Mid Season Honor goes out to you my dear. Well done. Well done.
PT. Most people hated PT when it was just something you had to do, rain or shine. But when PT shows up as a rookie and is in the top half, the image of PT does NOT improve. Get a hair cut and get a real job!
Gumbo. Right in the mix, as expected. I'm running out of insults, so , don't feel left out. I'm saving the best for the ferret. Good show!
MMDad. Same as Gumbo. Some people know how to do this. Some don't. You clowns are mob, right?
Daddy-O. OK, so the three of you have a clue, Gum, MM and you. I hope you need bi-focals from staring at NFL Weekly all day long.
Otter. Otter, yes, Otter. Does the word suspicious mean anything? Outhouse to penthouse, eh? From worst (nearly) to first (nearly), hmmm? I'll bet your pretty pleased with yourself. Been saying your prayers? Taking your vitamins? Your not using a Diebold machine to keep score are you??? A round of applause, folks, for Ot having a hell of a season and a big time turn around from last year this time! It can be done! Cue Notre Dame fight song...
Finally, Firebrand. It's like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, who is this guy? Well done, noob, or is is Paul, Paul Tagliabue???
Just remember, halfway home is also halfway from the starting line.
Good luck, all, and if I've offended anyone, good.
Firebrand 95
Otter 91
Daddy-O 85
MMDad 85
Gumbo 78
PT 75
BS Gal 73
MainMan 72
Airgasm 72
Pete 69
Donbar 69
BuddyLee 68
Larry 68
SBK 66
We'll work bottom up;
I have no idea what preseason expectations were for SBK and they didn't play last year, so, sorry, you're horrible, who cares? Thanks for playing!
Next up is the guy who, like the Redskins, wins the Super Bowl every year...in April. A man who talks more and says less than even Uecker, who, or whom, if you like, if nothing else, at least played the damn sport, for a living no less and, therefore, at least can claim to knowing at least something, unlike Mr. Consistency himself, who just happened to also be second to last best at this very time last year, the one, the only, thank you Jesus for small favors, I give you...me. I feel free agency has really ####ed me up this year. It's not my fault if the spread is wrong, every week.
Next is Buddy Lee who was #8 of 12 at this point last year, so, being 12th of 14 now represents not even consistency so much as a fly, stuck in a spider web; the harder he tries, the harder he's gonna have to try.
Donbar is up next, up being relative when we're talking about being so far down that even bubbles aren't really sure which way is up. Actually, The Don's 'up' means something, having moved up nicely from last a year ago, this time. That said, the Don didn't even hold training camp this year, feeling that he'd pretty much mastered what he does.
Next is the Legend, the man, one of Heavens Angels, that being because he's got his boy on the back of the Harley instead of some greasy skeeze, spending quality time doing what guys do, scanning the horizon for...skeeze. Heartwarming to say the least. They must have also spent countless hours scanning the sports pages of America to make this kind of improvement in just one season, going from 9 of 12 to 10 of 14, a full, clear one position up from the cellar. Golf clap for the PETE.
Air is next, more or less a thinned 4 iron into Davey Jones locker from the lofty expectations of last seasons mid season rarified...air. Yes, preseason was a time of hope, a time for dreams based on his position this time last year. As they say, being in the middle of the fairway is all well and good but, being only halfway home, it don't mean #### until the balls in the cup. Words to live by.
The Big Man, the Mainman thunders up next. I'll make this short so he can go back to licking his wounds. Hey, Shorty's playing some ball this year, so, falling from last years midseason #1 ain't all bad, right? Just mostly bad.
BS Gal, BS Gal. What kind of a world do we live in where a girl, a noob girl no less, with absolutely no discernible football acumen, whatsoever, is stomping the goo out of 1/2 the field of distinguished ball scratchers and nacho eaters? This is just ####ed up. First Mid Season Honor goes out to you my dear. Well done. Well done.
PT. Most people hated PT when it was just something you had to do, rain or shine. But when PT shows up as a rookie and is in the top half, the image of PT does NOT improve. Get a hair cut and get a real job!
Gumbo. Right in the mix, as expected. I'm running out of insults, so , don't feel left out. I'm saving the best for the ferret. Good show!
MMDad. Same as Gumbo. Some people know how to do this. Some don't. You clowns are mob, right?
Daddy-O. OK, so the three of you have a clue, Gum, MM and you. I hope you need bi-focals from staring at NFL Weekly all day long.
Otter. Otter, yes, Otter. Does the word suspicious mean anything? Outhouse to penthouse, eh? From worst (nearly) to first (nearly), hmmm? I'll bet your pretty pleased with yourself. Been saying your prayers? Taking your vitamins? Your not using a Diebold machine to keep score are you??? A round of applause, folks, for Ot having a hell of a season and a big time turn around from last year this time! It can be done! Cue Notre Dame fight song...
Finally, Firebrand. It's like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, who is this guy? Well done, noob, or is is Paul, Paul Tagliabue???
Just remember, halfway home is also halfway from the starting line.
Good luck, all, and if I've offended anyone, good.
Firebrand 95
Otter 91
Daddy-O 85
MMDad 85
Gumbo 78
PT 75
BS Gal 73
MainMan 72
Airgasm 72
Pete 69
Donbar 69
BuddyLee 68
Larry 68
SBK 66
Last edited:
outhouse to the penthouse
