might beat my kid (not really)

[hereforgood]

I had to take a break or I might scream! My 5 year old child's room is a mess(neighborhood kids played then left yesterday)! I told her I would help her clean her room, ie.. you hand me all your horses, barbies shoes, etc... and I will put them up. She could clean it by herself, but I felt since all the kids left her with the mess (we won't talk about that) I would help. I have bins set up for everything, that way it is easy to find, clean etc... All she has to do is hand me things, and put away the big stuff. After 20 minutes of asking her for say barbie clothes she is still just argggggggggggggg. I told her I would throw out anything left on her floor that I had ALREADY asked her for. Now I have a trash bag full of stuff for goodwill. And she still is not getting the point. Give me the strength-

 

[Pegster710]

I had to take a break or I might scream! My 5 year old child's room is a mess(neighborhood kids played then left yesterday)! I told her I would help her clean her room, ie.. you hand me all your horses, barbies shoes, etc... and I will put them up. She could clean it by herself, but I felt since all the kids left her with the mess (we won't talk about that) I would help. I have bins set up for everything, that way it is easy to find, clean etc... All she has to do is hand me things, and put away the big stuff. After 20 minutes of asking her for say barbie clothes she is still just argggggggggggggg. I told her I would throw out anything left on her floor that I had ALREADY asked her for. Now I have a trash bag full of stuff for goodwill. And she still is not getting the point. Give me the strength-

It's OK... This too will pass... She'll get it ~ eventually. You'll be able to laugh about it later. Just be sure to follow through, so she knows you mean business!!

 

[Railroad]

I remember being the 5 year old. I remember it took me two days to clean my room - in there the whole day except for potty breaks and meals. Cleaning my room was a monumental task I couldn't get motivated to do. And my mom DID beat me a few times to get me motivated. I think that was when I found a way to get 'er done.

OBTW, I recommend not getting rid of her stuff. I developed a deep-seated hatred of my Dad after he did that. Took many, many years to get over it and forgive him.

 

[DoWhat]

Great parent.

 

[redhead77]

A possible compromise might to be let her pick 3-5 items from the bag to go to goodwill and let her earn them back with extra chores (setting the table, folding laundry, drying dishes...) that way you are still following through, but she has a chance to keep something if its really important to her.

 

[Pegster710]

A possible compromise might to be let her pick 3-5 items from the bag to go to goodwill and let her earn them back with extra chores (setting the table, folding laundry, drying dishes...) that way you are still following through, but she has a chance to keep something if its really important to her.

Good idea...

Now, any advice for handling teenagers? When mine were little, their rooms were cleaned daily. Now that they think they are "grown", it's like pulling teeth to get them to clean up (to my standards).

Yep, hereforgood, you have this to look forward to...

 

[mAlice]

I always just made her think I threw it away. I'd bag it up and put it away for six months. By the time I put the stuff back in the toy boxes, the lesson had been learned.

 

[Railroad]

Great parent.

Yeah! His name should have been Ivan!

 

[DoWhat]

I took a bone away from my dogs because they were fighting over it.
Should I throw it away now?

 

[Railroad]

Good idea...

Now, any advice for handling teenagers? When mine were little, their rooms were cleaned daily. Now that they think they are "grown", it's like pulling teeth to get them to clean up (to my standards).

Yep, hereforgood, you have this to look forward to...

Have you considered eviction? - I'm only half-kidding! I did that once with my daughter. Hauled everything out to the garage and locked it up. I think I caved in after about a week of her having nothing but a bed and a few changes of clothes.

 

[Vince]

Just be sure to follow through, so she knows you mean business.

If you don't follow through she'll know she's got you now and in the future.

 

[suzeQ]

As mine got older, the clean room was such a small piece of the big picture that I would just close the door to their rooms. As long as there were not health or safety issues, I could ignore the mess.

Of course, they could not have friends in their rooms if it was not up to my minimum standards. And I always hung that over their heads, too, when they got a last minute invitation to go somewhere. After a few times of turning down invitations because they had to clean their rooms, they kept up with it a little better.

The one other thing that helped was letting my kids help renovate/redecorate their rooms. They felt some ownership then and wanted to keep it looking nice.

 

[Pegster710]

Have you considered eviction? - I'm only half-kidding! I did that once with my daughter. Hauled everything out to the garage and locked it up. I think I caved in after about a week of her having nothing but a bed and a few changes of clothes.

I've considered it... But I'd need a work crew and a crane! She has sooo much stuff!

She usually cleans it once a week - after I pester her :repeatedly:...

It just ain't like the old days!

 

[hereforgood]

I always just made her think I threw it away. I'd bag it up and put it away for six months. By the time I put the stuff back in the toy boxes, the lesson had been learned.

Okay room is clean. Most of the stuff in the bag she has not played with in a while. I am not so horrible that I would throw out her favorite things. But the thing was I was in there helping her I would say "hand me all of your horses", she would insist that she had and I would see 3 right in front of her. The problem (I created) is that she has so many toys that she wouldn't notice if I threw out 1/2 of them out. But the good thing is she will live now!

 

[Pegster710]

As mine got older, the clean room was such a small piece of the big picture that I would just close the door to their rooms. As long as there were not health or safety issues, I could ignore the mess.

Of course, they could not have friends in their rooms if it was not up to my minimum standards. And I always hung that over their heads, too, when they got a last minute invitation to go somewhere. After a few times of turning down invitations because they had to clean their rooms, they kept up with it a little better.

The one other thing that helped was letting my kids help renovate/redecorate their rooms. They felt some ownership then and wanted to keep it looking nice.

I do that, too! She can't go anywhere or have friends over until it's clean. She's on it when she has something planned...

She wants to redecorate... Wants to paint one wall black or deep midnight purple... I just can't see it... Maybe I should let her go for it...

 

[Railroad]

I've considered it... But I'd need a work crew and a crane! She has sooo much stuff!

She usually cleans it once a week - after I pester her :repeatedly:...

It just ain't like the old days!

Yup, that's true. Funny thing is, some time around 20 - 22 they suddenly discover that we aren't as stupid as they thought! And we discover with some shock that they have grown up to be pretty nice people!

 

[Railroad]

She wants to redecorate... Wants to paint one wall black or deep midnight purple... I just can't see it... Maybe I should let her go for it...

NOOOOO!!!!! You know how hard it is to cover that stuff once it's up? Ask her why she wants the black/deep purple anyway - sounds like that Goth stuff to me.

 

[Pegster710]

If you don't follow through she'll know she's got you now and in the future.

Believe me, I do... It just gets so much harder when they're teenagers! More work for mom! It would be less work for me to clean the room myself - but I ain't falling into that trap!!

Otherwise, she's a good kid who follows the rules of the house. She just "bends" the clean room rule to see how far she can get!

 

[Pegster710]

NOOOOO!!!!! You know how hard it is to cover that stuff once it's up? Ask her why she wants the black/deep purple anyway - sounds like that Goth stuff to me.

No, she's not into Goth. She saw it on that makeover show, Trading Spaces. The room had three light walls and one dark one... It looked great on TV.

The covering it up is the arguement I use! I can't imagine how long ~ and how much paint ~ it would take to cover up that one wall! And I really don't want to find out!!

 

[sonsorae]

The one other thing that helped was letting my kids help renovate/redecorate their rooms. They felt some ownership then and wanted to keep it looking nice.

For my 15 yo, I was having difficulty having her keep her room neat. One day we were in Target and she showed me things she would like in her room. I made a compromise with her and told her for every week that she kept her room neat, I would purchase one item of things she would like for her room. She now has everything she wanted and room is always neat....she might let go for a day or two, but all-in-all, she makes her bed everyday and stays in her room enjoying the new scenery.